I just avoid these pictures/threads, because it's, like, not what I'm here for at all.
Side note - I do have jealousy issues, but not that would be stirred up by photos on the internet, I don't think.
Doesn't really bother me to see one or two pictures of a couple kissing and expressing their relationship and love and blah blah blah. However, I would never, and I'm sure others would never, post a picture of myself eating, slobbering on, rolling my tongue around in, say, a cheeseburger.
So I am certainly not going to post a picture of myself eating someone else's face, slobbering on them or rolling my tongue around in their mouths, so. I wouldn't expect anyone else to enjoy these pictures or even look at them apart from me and the person I'm kissing, so, why do you think anyone else would if you post them?
(Yes, I am well aware I am comparing kissing a person to kissing a cheeseburger, but I fuccking LOVE cheeseburgers.)
I'm gonna tap him like a maple tree. I'm gonna search him for some syrups. I'm gonna be having sex with him.
Kissing is cute; licking is for private moments [but that's my choice- I wouldn't post a photo of that here, I don't mind one photo if it's funny (very undefined of me, sorry!)]. Snogging I find too full on, besides, if you're snogging you'll only see the side of a persons/ 2 people's faces.. not really any point if you're trying to show off your loved one [my point, if you cannot see the faces of both people, its probably too full on]. Groping.. ew&NO!
I don't feel annoyed by these photos, its a bit much to have loads of the same thing, but I'd think that about ANYTHING picture wise. Nobody should have to limit it by rule in my opinion, but instead be prepared it will be annoying for those who want to scroll past and should be courteous by putting them in a hide box if there are more than 3/4
I think what concerns me most is that overtly sexual poses and behaviours could attract the sort of people some members on RYL have been hurt by. A bit like you don't want thinspo-esque photos here because its not the sort visuals you would want people to think of this site by.
I have no jealousy issues because I am very content with my relationship/closeness. I don't think anyone should *have* to post in accordance with others issues, that is not the point of any rule in my book. I would like to think people would be courteous of others feelings, but it should not be made a rule to do this in any specific way.
Hey im glad this issue has moved to this thread and im sorry i was late spotting it so apologies.And i agree it is only right the original thread that this debate arose in again should be allowed to stay positive as it is meant to be and there are certainly some lovely photos in it from what i can see [poor sight precludes me a lot with photos and makes it hard work often lol!].And im sorry as i realise i [among others] should maybe probably have thought have that before too - that this would be a better place for debate.So yes maybe here would at least be a better place and a place where we can all respectfully share views on the subject in general.
i know this is a difficult one.
ive read through the majority of responses here and think i agree with many.
i have no problem with one or maybe two MAX photos of the same couple closed mouth kissing in a thread.i dont think i would be jealous cos to be honest personally i am not looking for that type of relationship right now.i want close friends....but just not the other right now whether man or woman or anything.....for personal reasons.i want close friends yes but not that type of relationship [that involves kissing etc].
Sometimes i dont mind as you say closed mouth kissing.It shows love and though i dont think i would even dare posting one picture of that type of thing or even want to for privacy reasons i accept that everyone is different and maybe if i got insanely insanely in love.....then maybe just one if i was moved so much by the power of the feeling....but i really cant imagine it.But then in some respects [though not others] im quite private and that just isnt for me.Really displaying close private moments.Also im not great for photos and pictures full stop cos my sight problems make them difficult so i dont tend to look the picture board daily for instance to be honest - its too hard work for me sight wise.
But again each to their own i accept that some may want to post and see that kind of thing and as i say one photo of a couple closed mouth kissing or two etc at the limit i think is fine.Absolutely fine.Why not show love if you feel you want to/have to for some reason?
But i do think a huge number.And when it becomes more 'involved' for want of a different word like others here have said then its too much and at the least i do think a hide box should be used if it is to be accepted here from anyone.
Not as an attack but im also wondering in general wha tpeople who post these kind of photos want or expect their audience to see or feel?Is there a different way of doing that?Is only one photo of a couple kissing not as good as many?If so do you know why?
These questions are not an attack.i truely want to understand and they are for anyone who wants to answer them.
Personally i have never been in the position of posting or wanting to post these type of photos but i really have been trying to understand how i would be feeling if i did want to.im trying to put myselves into others shoes not to judge.And im sorry if it comes across like this.But really i want people to try and help me understand [sorry if im a bit stupid or sound critical or judgemental - really not how i mean it to sound].But really actually i want you to help me understand....so we can work this out together.
After all i think as said above the best thing would be a compromise for us all perhaps and then we could all k ow how it stands for the whole site and then the people wanting to post those things could enjoy the posting of them and the positive reactions im sure they will get [which shouldnt be taken away] but so that the people who find them hard or a bit much to deal with or too many in quantity can also know their are limits and be comforted bgy that and we can all know where we stand.
im gonna shut up now cos i probably dont make much sense!i dont think people are out to spoil peoples fun.i think some people just find it a bit much at some times.When it seems too many photos of the same thing/couple or too intimate.
i dont mean to upset everyone.i respect this is a difficult subject and we all have different views - and i know i have to be careful cos one day i might be the one so much in love and feel the need to do this!Right now it doesnt feel likely id ever want to do that even if i did fall madly in love but you never know and so i think everything and everyone does have to be taken into account - both the feelings and desires of those who do want to post and those who dont want to see certain things.
i think a hide box and a limit on quantity and sexual content ie type of kissing, no licking would be a start personally.
Maybe even trial it?
FRIENDLY LOVE AND RESPECT TO ALL
XX XX
Last edited by Sleepless123 : 19-04-2011 at 07:50 PM.
Reason: To add a bit
i do not always manage to be around but i wish you all the very best - love and luck to you all!
+ I don't think it should really be anywhere other than in the significant other threads. I don't want to be trying to get over the relationship I've just got out of and have to see pictures all over the forum of couples snogging and groping and licking and whatever else. I know that's me being selfish, but I'm sure pictures like that make other people feel uncomfortable too, and it seems unfair..
I agree, e.g signatures. I don't want to go through a bad time, and see someones tongue over someone in a photography. And yes i'm stating the obvious. I can't actually avoid it in a signature!
"Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self esteem, first make sure you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes." - W. Gibson.
Also haven't a some people who do it been told before not to post pictures of that nature before?
I dont see the point in them to be honest, you and your significant other thread i'd expct cuddling or a few pictures of them together not full on snogging or licking each other and stuff.
I don't think there is homophobia going on over this topic, but some peoples comments are getting way too personal. It seems that as well as the distaste for intimate photos there is also a personal issues surfacing on a thread that is not about who is posting these things, but rather a debate on what is posted in general.
-Choley, swap cheeseburgers for cookies and I will understand much better.
I dont really see a problem, with any of the pics on the thread, but thats just me. I personally wouldnt put up a full on snogging pic of me and my partner, but dont have any problem with someone els posting one if their comfortable with it. The thread is 'significant others', before I first looked at it I assumed there would be kissing and the like, kind of goes with the territory of the thread???
I also understand the argument that people going through a hard time may not want to see kissing and happy couples when they are on here, so think kissing pics etc should be kept to the significant other thread BUT also people should not be made to feel bad for being happy or in a relationship and showing it!!!!! I know people are'nt intentionally guilt tripping people about it but, still I get that vibe a bit... I know how hard it is to see people happy when you are very low, believe me, been there before! But that is your own issue, not the posters of happy or kissing pics! People have to be sensitive of others, but correspondingly they shouldnt have to walk on egg shells in case they hurt someones feelings!
Doesn't bother me either.
I mean I see people do it in public all the time & couples on Facebook too.
I don't see it as a big issue, but I know other people feel differently.
In the significant other thread, if you post a picture of you and your other half having a closed mouth kiss on the lips i will probably think 'awh sweet' and move on.
If you post a picture of you and your other half having a full on snog i will probably think 'who takes photos of themselves kissing like that to then show in public?' and i would gag a bit but move on.
If you post a succession of pictures of you and your other half biting, licking, groping and kissing each other i will probably think 'holy ****.. What happened to having a private life? Why would you even vaguely think others want to see this stuff??'
And then i would choke on my own vomit and possibly die.
Quote:
Originally Posted by control freak
I don't want to see tongue. Nor do I want to see licking or anything like it. Kissing is fine if it's just a kiss but not if it looks like two people are trying to eat each other.
I dont have a problem with kissing but I don't really want to see it plastered everywhere. It's annoying.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amaryllis
Closed mouth kissing is fine, but when you've got pages and pages of the same couple licking and stuff, I'm not only going to think "gross, man!", but I will also wonder if you are that insecure in the relationship AND I will resent the heck out of you for making me scroll past all of that since heaven forbid you use a hide button. (Hint: They are not hard. I have had posts where I've had about twenty nested inside of each other. They are not hard.)
Ah the drama returns. You have been told by the general community several times that this isn't on their top ten list to look at. Frankly, if you tried to pull this on any other website you would be banned.
My personal opinion: Kissing? sure. Snogging? not my favourite, but people do it in public often. Licking, biting, and anything else that you wouldn't do in the hall at school? We have a phrase for that in the states: get a room.
Then wear the gold hat, if that will move her;
If you can bounce high, bounce for her too,
Till she cry "Lover, gold-hatted, high-bouncing lover,
I must have you!"
Thomas Parke D’Invilliers
For me, the problem isn't that there is a lot of people tounging eachother.
The problem is that it is one particular couple (and only this couple, as far as i have seen) who actually post the pictures that cause all the complaints about inappropriate types of photo.
The suggestion that "this sort of thing is to be expected" is true BUT only because of who is posting in the thread - correct me if i'm wrong but in the brief period between relationship#1 & relationship#2 there was no drama/upset/disgust at any of the content in "the you and your significant other thread" .
I know that it's all part of the "**** the haters, i love you babygirl" campaign but i really do think that, at least to some extent, the "haters" are being encouraged and wound up on purpose. It's all bullshit.
I roll over and hold on tightly, and whisper "If they want you, they're gonna have to fight me,"
I just avoid these pictures/threads, because it's, like, not what I'm here for at all.
Side note - I do have jealousy issues, but not that would be stirred up by photos on the internet, I don't think.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sky Fairy
I agree, e.g signatures. I don't want to go through a bad time, and see someones tongue over someone in a photography. And yes i'm stating the obvious. I can't actually avoid it in a signature!
This is exactly my point. If you want to go through that thread, you're going to see pictures of couples. I'm avoiding that thread because it hurts to see couples together right now. But if it's plastered over the rest of the forum, people can't avoid that. It just doesn't seem very, I don't know what the word I'm looking for is. Thoughtful, but not quite. It's just like, oh well I want to do it so **** what everyone else thinks. Which I don't think is fair.
It's like someone used to have something about SA in their signature before and it really bothered me. I don't think signatures / avatars / whatever should be "triggering" or should be something that's likely to offend people. I know it's a bizarre connection, but do you see where I'm coming from?
You are a wonderful creation.
You know more than you think you know, just as you know less than you want to know.
I guess it's personal preference. When I'm kissing my boyfriend, I like to pretend that the world has stopped and that we're the only two people in it (haha, soppy, sorry). I'd hate for anyone else to be watching in any way.
I think its fair to be stricter with sigs and avatars because nobody can choose to switch them off. I don't tend to notice them though. Give and take with the hide boxes though.. ?
In all, I don't really see why these must be posted. Is this a way of validating the relationship, or perhaps to show it off, especially to certain parties? I do not know...but I'd rather not see it.
In all, I don't really see why these must be posted. Is this a way of validating the relationship, or perhaps to show it off, especially to certain parties? I do not know...but I'd rather not see it.
tu as tant de choses à dire,
mais le tout reste enfermer.
et quand tu ne sais plus quoi dire,
tu te mets à pleurer.
Mais ça ton publique le voit pas,
tu l'incites à rêver, pendant que toi tu le regarde...
I don't really see why people feel the need to post random photos of themselves kissing their partner. I kind of agree that it does seem a little like 'look at me, I have a partner and we are kissing so OhEmGee we are totally in love' but I guess if someone wants to do that then it is up to them. It doesn't really upset me or anything and I don't think a rule banning it or whatever is necessary.
I also understand the argument that people going through a hard time may not want to see kissing and happy couples when they are on here, so think kissing pics etc should be kept to the significant other thread BUT also people should not be made to feel bad for being happy or in a relationship and showing it!!!!! I know people are'nt intentionally guilt tripping people about it but, still I get that vibe a bit... I know how hard it is to see people happy when you are very low, believe me, been there before! But that is your own issue, not the posters of happy or kissing pics! People have to be sensitive of others, but correspondingly they shouldnt have to walk on egg shells in case they hurt someones feelings!
I really don't think that, for the most part it is about being unable to stand people being happy! I think it is just plain inappropriate to have pictures like that in sigs. No one would bat an eyelid at a picture of someone looking happy or being with someone in a sig. But it's just when it's full-on kissing / licking and such and people can't avoid it. I don't think it's be particularly nice (or appreciated!) on any website, but particularly not one where a lot of members are young and / or vulnerable.
Personally I don't care very much. I don't think kissing pictures should be banned from the thread but it would be courteous for people to put them in a hide box especially if there are lots. But I don't think it's realy fair to have them in sigs.
"I know you're sad, so I won't tell you to have a good day. Instead, I advise you to simply have a day.
Stay alive, feed yourself well, wear comfortable clothes, and don't give up on yourself just yet.
It'll get better. Until then, have a day."
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