Would like a hug? Not coping.

[muzzii]

No worries. <3
I'm glad today's been going well, if you can keep it like that till the end then that's great. :) Well done for writing the letter. As for wether they're going to understand.. I'm sure you're not going to be the first person with an eating disorder that the counselor's seen, and it's their job to try and understand and to make you feel safe. I'm sure it will turn out better than you think. when is you're appointment?

[[LittleMonster]]

Yeah I guess it's their job, I know you're right.
I am still so nervous, never been alone to get help before so it's all a bit overwhelming

it's on Tuesday

I am so stupidly triggered now.

[muzzii]

It's natural to be nervous, I know I was. But you've just got to bite the bullet and go for it, if going to this counselor is going to help you in the long run then it's definitely going to be worth it. Try not to give in to feeling triggered if you can help it but if you can't don't beat yourself up about it too much.
/ Big Hugggs. <3

[[LittleMonster]]

I slipped up, urgh I really hate myself
I'm worried I'm gonna block up the halls toilets :/

Going out soon and feel so weak and ill. Why do I do this.

[muzzii]

It's okay, everyone slips up. It doesn't matter if you slip up a thousand times, as long as you keep trying after. Look after your self if you do go out, okay? <3

[[LittleMonster]]

Well I tried to look after myself, but then some girl opened a door and it hit me fully on the head and then I felt sick so yeah,, I was sick :/
But now I'm back in my room &triggered, I feel so controlled by this :(

[[LittleMonster]]

I didn't give in when I got back and I haven't either today..
I'm going to my mates for this weekend & she knows about me but I know I won't be able to binge/purge there and I'm scared..so scared

[muzzii]

Ouch, being hit in the face with a door doesn't sound too fun. :/
I'm really glad that you didn't give in to the urges last night and that today's been going well too. I'm sure this weekend will go better than you think, it might be a good idea for you to get away from uni for a bit is it's making you feel so triggered and it's good that you're going to be with someone who knows so at least you can talk to her if you need to? <3

[nowhereman]

Well done for not giving in last night or today, that's great. I was gonna say could you write it down as well, I've had to do that before cos knew I couldn't say it. Hope your appointment will go ok for you, just be as honest as possible with them. They should know how to help, it's what they do. Good luck and well done for being so brave. x

[Buttercup.]

Hang in there honey. Don't stop fighting.

*hugs*

[[LittleMonster]]

Thanks guys
I came home early from my friends house, I panicked and felt terrible and just wanted to be back
Tonight has been really bad, don't feel well at all. I know I can't keep doing this.
I have felt suicidal really badly for past few days..It's all too much

I have printed off a letter for the counsellors, but really feel so scared about giving them
Can I just have some kind words..

Hi, do you have any plans to get you through today and monday before your appt on tues?

does college keep you fairly busy, or is there a lot of unstructured time?

thinking of you ;)
x

[[LittleMonster]]

Well no not really, I have 2 lectures Monday and that's about it
I do have work to do but even that isn't usually enough to distract me.

I was pretty ill this morning when I woke up so I'm trying hard to be okay today as I was in a lot of pain.

xx

[[LittleMonster]]

Yesterday was pretty terrible.
The appointment is tomorrow & i'm worrying like mad.
Help me!!

[[LittleMonster]]

Anbody??

[Too Shy]

I hope the appointment goes ok. Are you feeling any less worried about it now?

I know how scary it is, but it's a good thing you have this appointment. And often the fear is worse than the actual appointment.

Let us know how it goes, xx

[[LittleMonster]]

Thanks, am dreading it !! :/

[[LittleMonster]]

So I went along and had my initial appt, she said that I definitely need help, I was like okkkayy haha.
Wasn't as bad as I thought to be honest & managed to give her the letter & she asked what I wanted from the sessions, I said I wanted someone to talk to & better ways of coping.

But yeah was hard

[Too Shy]

It's ok that you found it hard (not that that makes it any easier!), it can be very draining talking about the things you find difficult. It's very good that you managed to be honest.

How are feeling you now?

[muzzii]

I'm glad that the appointment went well lovelie and that you're going to get help now. <3 Have you booked a second appointment?
Hope you're alright. xx