I was 12 years old, my life had been difficult since I was 9 years old. I was being bullied in school as well as home being difficult. I used to shave my arms because I used to get teased for having hairy arms and I slipped with the razor. it felt good like I was in control of the pain. 12 years later here I am with my arms, legs and stomach all covered in scars and still self harming in different ways. Only now am I starting to realise that I need help.
When I was 12 I heard that my friend's older sisters cuts herself to feel better. I had a difficult life since I can remember and I cried everynight. but when I cried too much I got a headache. I tried SI, it was a much better release than crying all night long.
I had actually sh-ed at a young age, 7 then 10-13 ( on and off though like 5 years a year if that. I didn't even know what sh was it was about when i was 14 that i learn what it was as someone would bring up emo or sh would come into the conv and i thought the same as other people' how could people do that etc' It wasn't until i started at 16 again i realised i had done it when i was younger i just didn't know.
When I was younger I would do really mild things like scratching at my wrists until they bled, and pick at the scars. I think I did it to get attention/sympathy from my parents, I was a jealous brat cause my sister has ADHD and I felt like I was ignored. That was when I was about 8, I guess. Maybe younger? I don't really know. But I have always done stupid things.
Forget your perfect offering
There's a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in
Leonard Cohen
I had hit and punched myself hard for years but when I was 13 I saw fresh cuts on a classmate's arm. I was pretty taken aback and completely confused. Sometime in my early years of high school I saw an episode of house...in one scene the doctors lifted up a patient's hospital gown when she was sleeping which revealed lots of SI scars on her thighs..
Since I was 12 I would punch, scratch and bite myself, i'd never heard of self harm so I didn't think to much about what I was doing. When I was 16 I watched someone self harm (Cut) on a film and I was pretty much fasinated by it, so much the next time I was home alone I made it my goal to find something sharp enough for me to cut myself with it; I was just curious to honest, just wanted to know how it would feel, it felt good. I've been SH'ing ever since.
I was 11 when I first cut. I'd heard of it and I had heard that it helped, so I 'tried' it. I didn't start 'properly' cutting until I was 12 and here I am now (aged 13). The pupils at school recently went through a 'cutting is cool' phase so @SheHasHope I know how it feels.
x
Happiness is a form of courage
~ Holbrook Jackson
''Although the scars of yesterday remain, you can go on living as much as your heart believes. You can't be born again, although you can change.''
I self-harmed when I was kid, hitting myself and pulling my hair, but I was too young to know that my actions had a name. Then, when I was 15, I took a paper clip and scratched it along the inside of my wrist. I didn't know why I did it, only that the physical pain took my mind of the emtional pain I felt. I started cutting myself at 16.
i started self harm before i knew what it was... when i was a little kid i used bang my head on the wall and or doors........i didnt sh untill a weeks atfer my 17th brithday i was feeling very angery at the time and..i dug my fingernails in my skin... i didnt know what i was doing until a few months ago and by then i started cutting.... when i saw a book about the subject it was because of that i knew what i was doing....i still thought that i was the only person who did what i did but then i found RYL
we are the fallen
we are the wounded
we are the shattered
we are the unheard
we are the brave
we are the strong we are Survivors. and..... we are the future
we fallen can still rise by the wings of hope that lifts us~
I was 8 years old. It started as scratching. I was in dance class, and I was criticized a lot. so I started scratching on my thighs... then when I was about 10, I started cutting and occasionally burning.
And here I am at 20.... still self harming.
"Life is easy to chronicle, but bewildering to practice."-- E.M. Forster
I had always scratched myself, pulled my hair, and punched myself, bit myself, etc when I got upset, I had learned about self harm in 6th grade and I didn't see the point in cutting yourself open. But last year I met this girl who cut. She told me about it and the release, so I gave it a try and I liked it. Yeah lame story.
Please remember to try not to mention uncommon methods of self harm, as we don't want to end up giving tips to other methods about ways to self harm.
Also, it strikes me a lot of comments about how good it feels. Don't forget the pain it causes too and the fact it is an unhealthy coping mechanism, and ultimately there are many things in life that can give similar good feelings/release feelings without causing the pain and guilt etc after.
I guess I saw in year 7 or 8 and for some reason scratched all the skin off the back of my hand. I guess it was cos I was stressed about the exam I was in or something. I don't even know why I did it. I didn't really start cutting until the end of year 8/start of year 9 so I was about 13.
Anbd thus here I am now aged 20. Oh dear.
The world is just illusion always trying to change me.
You will find wonder wherever you can, and spread joy whenever you are able.
I felt emotions of gentleness and pleasure, that had long appeared dead, divide within me. - Frankenstein.
I first cut myself when I was 18. I didn't know anything about self harm back then, it wasn't even that big of a cut. It was like a paper cut that only bled for a minute or so. Then I started doing it again about when I was 28.
My boyfriend of the time, in 9th grade, actually confided in me that he cut, and it was the first time I had really heard of it. A few weeks later when I was having a freak out, I thought I'd try it. I didn't even think twice, it just felt natural.
"The stars are always there but we miss them in the dirt and clouds. We miss them in the storms. Tell them to remember hope. We have hope."
-Renee Yohe
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RIP Crystal Cantrell 10/4/06
RIP Dan Milgram 4/12/08
RIP Krista Dittmeyer 4/27/11
I knew about it, but never really thought about it when I was doing it.
I was getting bullied in Year 7 (I live in the UK, hence year 7)
Then at home, I was so scared, that without thinking about it I started to scratch myself. It seemed to calm me down. So obviously, the next time I got scared, I did it again. I first cut myself when I got very angry and got out of control with the scratching. Only then did I realise what I was doing :/ It didnt stop me though.
Im still doing the same thing now. Not much though anymore, because my mind seems to be 'too busy' to do it if that makes sense?
I was about 10 when I first heard of it, I saw it on the hollyoaks storyline. It wasn't long after I saw that that I started pinching myself, Self harm has been my way of dealing with stress or difficult emotions since then, I started scratching myself when I was about 14 and cutting when I was 17.... I'm 19 now and have started punching myself...
I was 13... I remember coming home from school and sitting on the toilet, just scratching my legs with a pair of scissors... half a year later, I was cutting myself with razors... I almost can't believe it's been 7 years already -.-
I learned about it on accident, actually. I was homeschooled, which sheltered me from a lot. I was suicidal, and I was going to kill myself by bleeding out, but the relief from the first cut was amazing, so I just started cutting a lot. That was two and a half years ago.
I consider that our present suffering is not worth considering with the glory that will be reveled in us.
