Triggering (SI) - Do I Tell?

[LetterZ]

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Fantastical

I agree.

It's better to be hated by your cousin in the short term and for her to get over this than to be trusted by her and watch her get worse.

Tell her that you have to tell someone though, explain to her this isn't a secret you can keep.


I think she needs help now, when she is twelve. If a problem is tackled sooner, the behaviour will not get as ingrained - be easier to change.

While you do make good points, my fear would be that she wouldn't talk to anyone at all after her parents are told. She seems to trust the OP a lot to tell them something like this, if she feels betrayed by her then how can she be expected to trust anyone?
Not to mention we don't know how her parents will react, a negative reaction could be very harmful-- Especially since the OP promised not to, I think that they need to either get their cousin to tell, or get their cousin's permission to tell her parents. Breaking someones trust in you can be very bad when they're already having emotional problems.

She definitely needs to tell someone, but doing it behind her back could do more harm than good.

[Horizon]

Many times I have had people (behind my back) tell teachers or counselors who in turn called my parents in without warning, and the first time I was 11, and it was my only friend after I had moved to our new home. Half the time I didn't even say anything to them to worry them. I still learned to trust others, because I knew it was just because they cared about me and it was for my own good.
When it comes down to it, she will eventually be found out, and it could go down the ugly way through school, etc. I don't know how they do it where marshmallows is from, but it's not cool to have your parents be called anyway in the end and be carted off to evaluations in front of everyone who sees you getting lectured at by the principal.
She's 12 and her parents' responsibillity. Or at least a different relative should be told if the parents might react in an unsavory manner.

[LetterZ]

Bleh, I really feel bad for the OP as I don't think there's a *right* answer for this. From what I've seen both sides of the argument have their good, and bad points. I guess it really comes down to what the OP's willing to do. At the very least I think the cousin should be warned if the OP's gunna break their promise, I think it's only fair.