What is the reason you started? The first time I SI'd was after a fight with my mom. I'd already been feeling depressed for a year and everything was just spiraling downwards, I don't know. I just hated myself so much at the moment, I wanted to hurt myself and cause pain.
Does it help you feel in control? Not really, a lot of the time it makes me feel like everything is getting more out of hand. Sometimes I feel like I deserve pain, sometimes it just helps me calm myself down- I can never stay angry at anyone and I could never hurt anyone else so I take my anger out on myself. Other times I just need to feel.
Does anyone know? No.
How did they find out? n/a
Why don't I tell anyone? I'm afraid of how they'll react. I don't really have friends but if I told my family or the handful of people I talk to, I'd lose them too and I can't handle that. And, I feel guilty about it, I don't want to hurt anyone...its sort of like my demons are my own to deal with and it just wouldn't be fair to put it on someone else. That, and I don't know anyone who would understand.
What is the reason you started self harming?
I started as a teenager (about 13/14), I'd been abused for a long time and couldn't cope anymore
Does self harm help you feel in control of your life?
I suppose it does a bit, but mostly it helps me cope with the pain inside
Does anyone know that you self harm?
Yes, one friend
If so, did you tell them willingly or did they find out?
I told him willingly
What is the reason you don't/didn't tell anyone?
I only told my friend a couple of years ago, before that I was worried no one would understand and would think I was a freak, they would also try and get me to stop when I wasn't ready to. I only told my friend because I knew he would understand. I won't tell anyone else because it's harder to know how they'll react, and I think some people would actually make it harder for me to recover by not understanding how I feel and putting too much pressure on me to stop (eg parents)
How old are you? 16.
Are you male or female? Female.
What is the reason you started self harming? Friend wanted to see what it was like to be 'emo' (her exact words) and cut hers, mine, and a few other friend's arms. After that, I couldn't help myself. I just started. (BTW, I HATE the label 'emo' and would never use it like that).
Does self harm help you feel in control of your life? Not really control of my life, more like control of my emotions.
Does anyone know that you self harm? Yes.
If so, did you tell them willingly or did they find out? Both.
What is the reason you don’t/didn’t tell anyone? Some people are judgemental and blabber mouths, so I keep it to myself.
How old are you? 25 Are you male or female? Female What is the reason you started self harming? Well, at first, I was having a suicidal thoughts in my head and I'm have a rough times in Sexual Assaulted by a family member and I just started it last month. Does self harm help you feel in control of your life? No, I don't have to but it's hard to deal with on my own sometimes but I deal with it. Does anyone know that you self harm? My family knows but it was different si but this is si since last month. If so, did you tell them willingly or did they find out? Neither are they. What is the reason you don’t/didn’t tell anyone? I don't tell anyone or family that knows about me but I don't really wants to cause I'm a private person but someday, I will tell someone how much I felt from the past (Sexual Assaults leads to Suicidal thoughts). So, I don't have to do anything with them but I deal with on my own.
How old are you? 17 (started self injury at about 13)
Are you male or female? female
What is the reason you started self harming? stress, depression, wish for control, punishment related to eating and PTSD
Does self harm help you feel in control of your life? Sometimes, other times makes me feel less in control
Does anyone know that you self harm? yes parents, some teachers, some friends
If so, did you tell them willingly or did they find out? I told a teacher and a friend, parents eventually told by the teacher, a few people found out after seeing marks
What is the reason you don’t/didn’t tell anyone? told after a while because i was scared alone wanted help didn't tell others because of fear
Let the Force be with you
I'm not short, I'm space efficient
How old are you? 19
Are you male or female? Female
What is the reason you started self harming? family problems, grief, self hate......
Does self harm help you feel in control of your life? Sometimes yes
Does anyone know that you self harm? Yes
If so, did you tell them willingly or did they find out? My parents found out dont know how really but i told two of my close friends
What is the reason you don’t/didn’t tell anyone? I find it very difficult to talk about with people i only really talk to my councillor about it!
''Where do I take this pain of mine I run but it stays right by my side'' (Until it sleeps metallica)
No matter how many deaths I die, I will never forget
No matter how many lies I live, I will never regret
There's a fire inside,
Of this heart,
About to explode into flames (Hurricane 30 seconds to mars)
How old are you?22
Are you male or female?female
What is the reason you started self harming? not sure really, i felt really low and i just kind of did it
Does self harm help you feel in control of your life? it used to, but now its the opposite
Does anyone know that you self harm? all medical/mental health workers that work with me know cus its on all my forms,on the computer system due to hospital admissions, some freinds,i guess alot of people i havent 'told' know cus of my scars.
If so, did you tell them willingly or did they find out? my family found out
What is the reason you don’t/didn’t tell anyone?
How old are you? almost 21 (started at 15)
Are you male or female? female
What is the reason you started self harming? I had obsessive thoughts (not sure if they were voices or thoughts) to self harm, telling me to do it over and over so eventually I just gave in cause I was so sick of resisting.
I also recall minorly self harming at a very early age but I honestly have no understanding why I did it. I think it was cause I was distressed but I honestly don't know why a 3 year old would be so distressed. It wasn't for attention as I freaked when someone saw me do it and made an excuse. I don't know if the early SI and the teenage SI are linked at all.
Does self harm help you feel in control of your life?It sometimes was for control. I liked it the second I tried it (I didn't even know you would like it until I finally gave in). I liked hiding it and having it be my secret, so I suppose it was a form of control. Now I do it for similar reasons and also cause it makes my head stop going crazy, so again I guess that is control.
Does anyone know that you self harm? yes
If so, did you tell them willingly or did they find out? i willingly told 1 friend back when i started as they did it too and then they told someone so my parents found out. i then said i stopped, which i did, but started up again and then refused to tell anyone for a while. then someone i didn't know well asked me if i was a cutter so i said yes. they then pressured me into telling my parents as i was barely too young to receive counseling without their permission. so i willingly i suppose told my parents but i only did it cause i wanted access to counseling. since then i have told some people, but i tend to hide it. My bf is the only one who knows I have done it recently and that's only cause he can see the cuts.
What is the reason you don’t/didn’t tell anyone? I liked it being my secret. And I didn't want anyone to make me stop. also i've gotten judged a lot for it so i tend to keep it quiet.
How old are you?
- 19
Are you male or female?
- Female
What is the reason you started self harming?
- I wanted control, I wanted to feel SOMETHING, ANYTHING
Does self harm help you feel in control of your life?
- It did, and really it still does, because it's always with you and you can always turn to it when nothing else is in your control, but I know that it also controls me.
Does anyone know that you self harm?
- Yes
If so, did you tell them willingly or did they find out?
- A couple of people found out and I admitted to it. Everyone else found out when I got admitted to hospital
What is the reason you don’t/didn’t tell anyone?
- Because it was mine, it was my secret and that comforted me. Because there is a stigma, and most people wouldn't understand. Because I didn't want to hurt anyone.
"Watch me fault her "you're living like a disaster". She said "kill me faster", with strawberry gashes all over"
What is the reason you started self harming? I guess I had a reason when I started, but any reason has left since then. It could have been the feelings I wanted to get out, or to feel anything it at all, or perhaps as self-discipline.
Does self harm help you feel in control of your life? In a way - when I'm doing it.
Does anyone know that you self harm? My boyfriend and pastor.
If so, did you tell them willingly or did they find out? My boyfriend discovered it. I told my pastor.
What is the reason you don’t/didn’t tell anyone? Because I was and still am ashamed. And I don't want people to think I'm crazy.
How old are you? 35
Are you male or female? female
What is the reason you started self harming? Can't say for sure since it started when i was very young...the professionals say it is because I blame myself for the sex abuse I had as a child
Does self harm help you feel in control of your life? it helps me control my emotions, but more so as a form of punishment for all the things I have and still do wrong
Does anyone know that you self harm? yes
If so, did you tell them willingly or did they find out? no one knew until 7yrs ago when it finally escalated to the point that i needed medical attention and they put me in a psych hospital
What is the reason you don’t/didn’t tell anyone? I didn't know that it was a big deal..I just had always been that way. Even after being put in the hospital I managed to not tell my family until a year ago. I'm ashamed of it and I know it is not understood or accepted. The scars alone have ruined how my partner of 6yrs views me as no longer attractive. Many people have acted like I am some kind of psycho path, so I am not in a big hurry to keep letting people know. Hell-even the pros don't know what to do with me anymore-I just keep getting sent from one form of therapy to another.
What is the reason you started self harming?
I don't know, it just kind of started to happen and I did not think there was anything wrong with it.
Does self harm help you feel in control of your life?
No.
Does anyone know that you self harm?
Two of my ex boyfriends do, but we are still very close.
If so, did you tell them willingly or did they find out?
They both accidentally saw the aftermath.
What is the reason you don’t/didn’t tell anyone?
It's mine and it's there for me to deal with, not them. I don't want people thinking that if I harm myself it's because of something they did that upset me. I don't want them to act differently around me or watch what they say. I can handle it.
How old are you? 14
Are you male or female? Female
What is the reason you started self harming? Experimental
Does self harm help you feel in control of your life? Yes.
Does anyone know that you self harm? Yes
If so, did you tell them willingly or did they find out? Two I told, three found out.
What is the reason you don’t/didn’t tell anyone? I was frightened of his reaction.
How old are you? 19
Are you male or female? female
What is the reason you started self harming? because I was bullied for and being called ugly stupid and all that and I was just sick of peeps making me feel bad and me letting it happen and I just had too much bottle inside that I made my first cut on impulse and soon after I got hooked
Does self harm help you feel in control of your life? At first it did but after I realized I was addicted and tried to stop I felt the opposite.
Does anyone know that you self harm? my parents,sisters and close friend from my martial art training(he became my si support).
If so, did you tell them willingly or did they find out? my parents found out from the school counselor,my sisters found out through my mother and I told my close friend at three in the morning when I went to far and he helped me with how to treat my wounds.
What is the reason you don’t/didn’t tell anyone? because I was ashamed and felt like I was the only one doing this and it made me crazy and that feeling made me feel isolated.
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this is so cool! I like lol
you know what? if you don't like who I am..I don't see anything stopping you from moving on![b]
(\__/)
(O.o )
(> < ) This Is Bunny. Copy Bunny into your signature to help him on his way to world domination.
What is the reason you started self harming? Stress and depression. The crowning event was my older brother's sudden death by accident at work. I was already feeling depressed before that happened, and that further upset took me out at the knees. From there, things spiraled out of my coping range completely--a kind of domino effect. The actual first time I cut was out of desperate inspiration, but of course it worked wonders as a release, so I began turning to it.
Does self harm help you feel in control of your life? I feel in more control of myself, yes. More in control of my life...that I'm not so sure about.
Does anyone know that you self harm? Only my SO, and my friend Sidney.
If so, did you tell them willingly or did they find out? I told my partner. It would have been horrible to spring it on him the first time we spent the night together.
Sidney found me out--very recently, as a matter of fact. He knows I have depression, and he put together enough circumstantial behavioral observations to make him worry that I was hiding something. From there, he did some research and put the problem together.
What is the reason you don't/didn't tell anyone? Mostly, I don't want it to affect my relationships. I have very few friends, and only one or two close ones; it's selfish and dishonest, but I don't want to risk losing those.
Last edited by Pierrot : 07-02-2010 at 09:51 AM.
Reason: clarification
How old are you? 22
Are you male or female? female
What is the reason you started self harming? I needed a way to express my feelings because I wasn't allowed to. I hated myself and wanted to punish myself.
Does self harm help you feel in control of your life? yes.
Does anyone know that you self harm? my husband and my sister know.
If so, did you tell them willingly or did they find out? I told them both but only after I knew they were going to find out anyway. I hid it for a long time.
What is the reason you don’t/didn’t tell anyone? I didn't want to disappoint the people I love. I was afraid they would see me differently, I didn't want to have to try to explain WHY, I knew telling someone would make me have to work on it and I wasn't sure I was ready. I didn't want to make MY problems anyone elses problems.
Just what am I supposed to say?
And tell you why I turned out this way?
Don't make me. Don't make me.
How old are you? 18
Are you male or female? female
What is the reason you started self harming? no particular reason as such just a number of things like having to sit by and watch my best friend, the most important person in my life starve herself nearly to death, anger at myself, not knowing how to get rid of emotions, hating myself, thinking that whining about my insignificant problems to others wasnt fair so i never told anyone i was feeling rubish so things just built up, i dont come from a family where we talki about our "feelings" we ignore any problems and wait for them to go away.
Does self harm help you feel in control of your life? yes it can do
Does anyone know that you self harm? best friend and boyfriend
If so, did you tell them willingly or did they find out? my boyfriend was obviously going to find out do i told him so it didnt come as a shock to him when he saw. i told my best friend recently, i trust her with my life
What is the reason you don’t/didn’t tell anyone? i know it's stupid, and it isnt something people can understand if they havent been there
How old are you?
17
Are you male or female?
Female
What is the reason you started self harming?
A number of things, stressed, been bullied for 5 years, angry, confused and wanted more control
Does self harm help you feel in control of your life?
Yes it does
Does anyone know that you self harm?
A number of people know, my parents, my gp , some of my mate found out at college, camhs, some other teams like the crisis team etc as its on the computer since i have had to go to A&E sometimes.
If so, did you tell them willingly or did they find out?
Some i told willingly others they found out from other people. Like i told college at 16 about it and college ended up telling my parents who took me to my gp I confined in my mates from my gp i started seeing a counsellor then when i had 'stopped' .. well my parents found out again later which is when camhs found out etc.
What is the reason you don’t/didn’t tell anyone?
Even now the people who dont no i like to keep it that way, that they dont do , to ashamed mainly and also i dont like the 'type' i am also fed up of been called an attention seeker or emo when those or simple not true. Also people dont u nderstand it and i feel so people am talking more about mates see me differently now also i dont like to make people worry about me.
How old are you? 17
Are you male or female? Female
What is the reason you started self harming? My friends did it and I was curious.
Does self harm help you feel in control of your life? It's the only control I feel.
Does anyone know that you self harm? Some, yes.
If so, did you tell them willingly or did they find out? Some of both, usually I tell them, though.
What is the reason you don’t/didn’t tell anyone? I'm scared they'll freak out, think I'm crazy or suicidal, or take my recovery into their own hands.
How old are you? 21
Are you male or female? Female
What is the reason you started self harming? It wasn't a conscious thought to hurt myself, it sort of just happened
Does self harm help you feel in control of your life? It can do
Does anyone know that you self harm? Yes
If so, did you tell them willingly or did they find out? Willingly
What is the reason you don’t/didn’t tell anyone? It's personal and only a need to know basis
The only time you will find real light is when you're searching in the dark..
lol
