I hope you do get in bleeding angel!
I'm doing to same as you hollz but im not drinking wine lol.
" my precious, precious child, I love you and I would never, never leave you during your times of trials and suffering. When you see only one set of footprints it was then that I carried you" you were carried out of are lifes into the next and when its my time to leave this life I know i will be carried into the next life with you.
I wish i had my world complete again.
'Can we protend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars, i could really use a wish right now' BoB
cheers.
i promise im trying.
but i feel so alone..... i dont want to move on with life or tomorrow.
oh god here come the plans for suicidal. **** what now. its coming too fast .
A tyrant spell has bound me And I cannot, cannot go
-
Emily Bronte
Something has changed within me, something is not the same, I'm through with playing by the rules of someone elses game. Too late for second guessing, too late to go back to sleep, its time to trust my instincts, close my eyes and leap....
Somethings I cannot change, but till I try I'll never know...
***
Big hugs to all my friends on here, thanks for your constant support - love you guys
thanks hollz. i just ..
im feeling really pathetic. on the plus side my creativity for writing is in overdrive ive barely got enough time to get it all on paper.
but when my thoughts are spiraling.. i know its not good.
i just wanna cut to slow down. before the su thoughts get and more than intermitant
A tyrant spell has bound me And I cannot, cannot go
-
Emily Bronte
sorry *hugs* to everyonex sorrycant individully repl, thinking of you all thoughxx
Theres a little truth behing every just kidding,
A little curiosity behind every just wondering,
A little knowledge behind every i dont know.
And a little emotion behind every i dont care.
i was ok, i was handling them i was coping. but then i slipped up :( but the thoughts just got worse and worse, now theyre Sui throuh to point of going through plans in my head! :'( i cant handle this again, i dont want to.. im just sat in with just my laptop and a small lamp on. everythings irratating me, and its like the room screaming at me and telling me how horrible i am, and its all true all of it :'(
I'm trying, trying not too listen but its so hard when thats how i feel. when i want to do it.
im sorry im just feeling so lost and alone right now
Theres a little truth behing every just kidding,
A little curiosity behind every just wondering,
A little knowledge behind every i dont know.
And a little emotion behind every i dont care.
Hey Laura, why do they want you on a depot? Haven't you tried that before?
I am back home after spending Fri evening til late this afternoon at my mum's house. Feel so pathetic that I need to do that at my age in order to keep safe - my housemate wasn't due to be around this weekend and I thought it not wise to be by myself as have tried other methods recently.
Got appt to see GP tomorrow afternoon so hopefully he will increase my Quetiapine or give me something to help with the sleep problems Ihave been having of late. I hope that he doesn't look at the pd diagnosis and dismiss me like the bloody locum.
"Everything is possible through Christ, who gives me strength". Phillipians 4:13
I hope you manage to get your meds sorted Carri, and thats good you managed to stay safe these past few days, and it is not pathetic at all, no matter how old we are, we still need support and will all feel vulnerbale when nobody else is about. Hope you get on okay at the docs.
I am just packing, this time tomoz I should be in a hotel in manchester and then flying off tuesday morn, got to see my cpn tomoz before I go, but it should be okay me thinks.......
Something has changed within me, something is not the same, I'm through with playing by the rules of someone elses game. Too late for second guessing, too late to go back to sleep, its time to trust my instincts, close my eyes and leap....
Somethings I cannot change, but till I try I'll never know...
***
Big hugs to all my friends on here, thanks for your constant support - love you guys
Something has changed within me, something is not the same, I'm through with playing by the rules of someone elses game. Too late for second guessing, too late to go back to sleep, its time to trust my instincts, close my eyes and leap....
Somethings I cannot change, but till I try I'll never know...
***
Big hugs to all my friends on here, thanks for your constant support - love you guys
Med withdrawls.
Long weekend
Lots of ups and downs.
Now my head is screwed
and my friend is attempting to ask me out and i'm making it really difficult because i don't know what i was because my head is messy.
and i can feel a low coming on.. so i'm trying to drag myself back...=(
Hope the gp can sort your meds carri.
Hollz have fun! hope it goes well with your CPN sure it will.
i havent read the pages from the weekend since i've been away, so hope you're all doing ok =] x
So do whatever it takes
‘Cause you can’t rewind a moment in this life
Let nothin’ stand in your way
Cause the hands of time are never on your side
Hey Hollz, I'm not that far from Manchester Airport, whereabouts you staying? You got time to meet up for a coffee?
______________-
I want to tear myself to bits but what the **** does it matter. Thisd is me. This is how I will always be.
My housemate agrees re benefits, she reckons I need to speak to an advisor re getting financial help the way things are and was happy I had taken steps to find an advisor. That kind of makes me feel a little better about things.
"Everything is possible through Christ, who gives me strength". Phillipians 4:13
carrie - hun its an urge you can fight it . you wont always be like this you just have to be strong. i know its difficult.
and its good that youve taken those steps its a positive move :) you should be pleased.
-
im struggling. im sick of waiting to get better. thats why ive been feeling su lately. its been 9 years. 9 f*cking years of this... and its no where close to over. im tired of fighting and hoping its going to get better. i dont think i can anymore.
my therapist says u cant expect tochange your behaviour just like that. but its what 4 years of therapy now ive had. 1 year with my current therapist and even thats coming to an end with no sucess.... its pointless
A tyrant spell has bound me And I cannot, cannot go
-
Emily Bronte
I don't think I'm ever going to get better. Ever.
They discharged me from outpatients today, as I'm moving to Spain, notbecause I'm getting better, she didn't even ask how I was. I told her that I would be back in 3 months, at Christmas, and I think I still need the support, but she didn't listen. I mean there are people who don't see their psych for 6 months at a time. I really don't like her, all. I'm not exactly stable at the moment, and all I want to do is OD, I feel like she's given me reason to. I have no need to try not to, at all.
Heh.
Sorry for only posting when I need support. I'm really sorry.
"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. Make us all feel wonderful. We'll never forget."
