The following content has been hidden - Reason : ED trigger (maybe severe)
My RA just dropped by to tell me that she and I will be meeting together with the director of student life on Monday afternoon, because she's really, really worried about my health. and wants to make sure I get whatever sort of health I need, etc... So obviously I'm more than a little freaked out...
I don't think I look that bad... I don't know why she's so worried...
I asked my homegroup leader/ accountability partner if we could get together tomorrow to talk... I want to come clean and tell her all the dirty details...
I want to ask her to completely honestly look at me and tell me what she sees...
I see a girl who looks mildly sleep-deprived, has dark circles around her eyes, who is a little too chubby for comfort, but otherwise looks perfectly healthy...
But so many people recently have made comments about my health, that I'm starting to wonder how skewed my self perception might be.
I really need her to look at me with complete honesty and tell me how bad it is.
I thoroughly hate my ED.
I'm afraid of it.
My behavior recently (especially today) has showed me that I have no control over it whatsoever...
I just need a big hug. a chance to cry and scream and be reminded that in this, God is working. What the enemy intended to destroy me, the Lord will use for His mighty purposes. I need someone to tell me that everything will be okay. that I'll get through this. that Jesus hasn't abandoned me. that she cares deeply for me, and will stick with me to the best of her ability.
Then wear the gold hat, if that will move her;
If you can bounce high, bounce for her too,
Till she cry "Lover, gold-hatted, high-bouncing lover,
I must have you!"
Thomas Parke D’Invilliers
Hi guys, i requested some prayer the other day on this thread and now i'm feeling much better thanks guys. Things seem to have turned around for me so thanks to those of you who bothered to pray for me.
I was wondering if anyone out there would like to be my prayer buddie. We can both pray for one another in confidence and support one another. please let me know if your interested and PM me ta x x.
salanna, it's best to be honest, i'll be praying about it]
and i wanted to share this scripture with you guys.
And a woman who had been suffering from a hemorrhage for twelve years, came up behind Him and touched the fringe of His cloak; for she was saying to herself, "If I only touch His garment, I will get well."
But Jesus turning and seeing her said, "Daughter, take courage; your faith has made you well." At once the woman was made well.
This relates to me in a big way. Have you ever struggled with something for this length of time, or does it feel like it? I have. 12 years! But he will make us well.
The following content has been hidden - Reason : ED trigger
We went to lunch today. Lunch meaning that I ate something, voluntarily. (it wasn't much... But I ate it and didn't purge or exercise obsessively afterwards)
I was honest with her. I shared all of the disgusting, health endangering things that I do...
And she didn't freak out.
She didn't react with disgust.
She was kind and gentle.
She was shocked, because prior to this conversation she only knew about the restricting and exercising... And she's now more committed to getting me help (probably within the week) and I've decided I'm okay with seeing a therapist again.
I've decided that even though I'm not ready to recover, I'm willing to cooperate fully with whatever form of treatment we agree on.
I almost feel like I could recover, with her support...
But I'm still terrified.
“The good things don’t always soften the bad, but vice-versa, the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.”
“Nobody important? Blimey, that’s amazing. Do you know, in nine hundred years of time and space I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t important before.”
“If it’s time to go, remember what you’re leaving. Remember the best. My friends have always been the best of me.”
"Tyranny means that we're dominated by thoughts and habits that torment and overpower us. Minute after minute. Day after day. In our battle, we wonder "What we will eat next? How much do I weigh today? What will others think of me? Why can't I be free of this? Why can't I be normal?" We agonize over answers. We try and fail over and over again. We wonder where God is. "Why isn't He helping me?"
Think about it:
Are you are living in tyranny of food?
Do you spend your day thinking about what you've eaten?
What you will eat? Or how much you weigh?" >.>
thanks bible study blog :P
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--------------------------------------------------------- “You are a pleasure and treasure, a prize worth fighting for.”
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- God’s message negates the harsh reality of human appraisal and measures each of us in the eternal.
Can you take the time to listen to the messages you hear? If they are not affirming and eternal they are not from God! Ask Him! He longs to have you hear, take the time to listen.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
“The good things don’t always soften the bad, but vice-versa, the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.”
“Nobody important? Blimey, that’s amazing. Do you know, in nine hundred years of time and space I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t important before.”
“If it’s time to go, remember what you’re leaving. Remember the best. My friends have always been the best of me.”
Then wear the gold hat, if that will move her;
If you can bounce high, bounce for her too,
Till she cry "Lover, gold-hatted, high-bouncing lover,
I must have you!"
Thomas Parke D’Invilliers
“The good things don’t always soften the bad, but vice-versa, the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.”
“Nobody important? Blimey, that’s amazing. Do you know, in nine hundred years of time and space I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t important before.”
“If it’s time to go, remember what you’re leaving. Remember the best. My friends have always been the best of me.”
hi please can i have your prayers and advice. I'm really struggling with feelings of guilt and shame. I feel like when I pray God is mad at me and this is affecting our relationship. I used to be able to waffle on and on to him about my day but now i'm struggling to utter even a few words!
How can I get over these really tough feelings? I just want my good relationship with God back thats all x x.
Questions: What is currently blocking me from greater love for God? What blocks me from receiving God’s love for me? What do I most deeply desire in my life at this point? What does the Lord desire to give me at this time?
from a blog on the spiritual exercise of Ignatius of Loyola
Over the years, there have been times when sin has hindered my relationship with God - but it has not and cannot sever that relationship. Nothing can separate us from His love. However, when we cherish and harbor sin, life inevitably spirals into a swirling cesspool of chaos where stress reigns and self-doubt flourishes. What a powerful promise found in 1 John 1:9, "If we confess our sin, He is faithful to forgive us our sin and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness". Every time I read that verse, I am amazed by the hope it conveys. When we confess sin, God not only forgives that sin but removes the stain it leaves behind. The stain of sin is one of Satan's favorite weapons. With it, he births guilt and shame, crippling us spiritually. When we buy into those lies, allowing them free reign, we are telling God that sending His son to die on the cross was not enough. I cannot even imagine what it must do to His heart, as He watches His children settle for so little when He offers so much. Knowing whose we are empowers us to live and serve from His love - not to it - and is the first key in dealing with stress.
^hah true that
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“The good things don’t always soften the bad, but vice-versa, the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.”
“Nobody important? Blimey, that’s amazing. Do you know, in nine hundred years of time and space I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t important before.”
“If it’s time to go, remember what you’re leaving. Remember the best. My friends have always been the best of me.”
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