Yeah, I'm sorry, I'm okay.
Just having a few predicaments lately.
But once they're all over and done with, it'll be okay.
And I'll try and write more today :)
I'm gonna tap him like a maple tree. I'm gonna search him for some syrups. I'm gonna be having sex with him.
Sorry it's taken so long guys. :)
This chapter's triggering for abuse and suicide, so be careful please :D
Chapter Sixteen
A few days later the doctors said I was well enough to be able to go to the psychiatric unit the Mental Health Team had required for me. I pleaded with my mother to make them let me go home instead, but behind bitter tears and the lump in her throat, she said it was what was best for me, to make sure I was getting better. I told her I was getting better already, I hadn’t cut for weeks and I was slowly putting weight on. She replied that it wouldn’t be right for her to take me home, to where it all began, while I was doing so well.
I nodded in false agreement, not wanting to cause an argument with her as she explained I would be on a ward with adults now I was eighteen. Again I nodded in silence and tried to imagine how an environment filled with mentally ill patients who had possibly been there most of their lives was meant to make me better. I suddenly felt very nervous and could feel the morning’s breakfast bubbling around my stomach threatening to make an appearance. I reached to get a jumper out of the packed bag beside me and pulled it over my head, putting the hood up and sinking my hands deep into the pockets. My mother looked over at me with concern; she knew my nervousness made me cold and she squeezed my leg and smiled reassuringly.
He ran his hand up my thigh and squeezed the top of my leg, toying with the elasticated waist of my pyjama bottoms and I froze. “You’re beautiful,” he whispered in my ear. It sent chills down my spine. I wasn’t beautiful. I had never felt so hideous in my life. He sat back and looked me over.
“I love a girl with curves,” he sneered. I pinched my stomach and realised I would do anything to get rid of it. I would disappear. I would not have curves. I would be so unattractive to him he never touched me again.
Not knowing what was going on inside my head, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a turquoise colour box with a dark blue ribbon wrapped around it. It was about the same size of his hand and he passed it to me and told me to open it. I did and inside was a heart-shaped locket attached to a golden chain. The locket was decorated with wispy lines and tiny diamonds. He took it from my hands and unclasped it, putting his hands either side of my neck and attaching the chain together again. He winked at me and put his lips to mine, forcing my head to stay there with his hand. His other hand slowly crept under my pyjama shirt and I squeezed my eyes shut, willing it to be over.
When I opened them again, he was standing next to my bed facing the door and slowly he left, closing the door behind him. I ripped the locket from around my neck and threw it to the other side of the room, landing on the floor next to my dressing gown and a light bulb went off in my head. I ran silently across the floor, grabbing the cord from my gown and wrapped it once around my neck, tying it at the back just as he had clasped the necklace. I took my computer chair and put it underneath my window, standing on it and steadying myself before tying the other end to my curtain pole. Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath.
I had wanted to die that night.
If only my father hadn’t come home from work early…
“Keira, are you okay?” My mother’s voice snapped me out of my trance and my eyes blurred with tears. I looked at her and they spilled over. She shot to my side and hugged me, moving my hair out of my face and hushing me as if I were a hurt child. It was then I realised something. If I really wanted to get better, I had to be completely honest.
I turned to look at my mother and took the same deep breath I had done on that very night. “Mum?” She took a step back to look at me and I continued. “I have something to tell you.”
Last edited by Left Phalange : 13-07-2009 at 08:48 PM.
I'm gonna tap him like a maple tree. I'm gonna search him for some syrups. I'm gonna be having sex with him.
