i lost a baby when i was 16, i say lost.. i was scared, on my own and spent all of my first wage packet at christmas time getting drunk. i ended up being admitted to hospital with alcohol poisoning (cheap absinthe...) and yah.... i feel regretful of that missed opportunity, there's a corner of my heart for little bean, i never got to love him/her in the flesh and i would change it all if i could.
mand x
Mand, South Wales, Full-time working, single mother to 2 scarily independent girls.
I AM A PROUD PLUMERIA SISTER
In the pregnancy mags, it suggets trying the TENS machine before labour, so you've mastered the controls and best ways to use it etc, then by the time labour comes you'll be a pro!
aye u kno wat i mean ;) forget about what the midwife might think about your homebirth...they can be a bit judgemental and assume too much at times. i remember mine coming to visit me after i had freyja and asking me if my mum was at work. i was like erm, i dont live with my mum. she didnt think freyjas dad was on the scene and figured i was living with my mum instead.
"When I want your opinion, I'll beat it out of you" - Dr Samuel Loomis
^^
I thought that would have been pretty obvious that you might not get the midwife you've seen all the way through.
At the end of the day, once you're in labour you won't really care if it's a different midwife or not.
It's so easy to get lost in constantly having to present
whatever face you believe a person wants to see rather than your own
The midwife I see, who I really like and trust, won't be my midwife at birth unless a miracle happens. She's only taken me on because she specialises in mothers with mental health problems. But the midwives who are officially mine, are alright, but I don't know them at all. When I see them (only twice, and I'm at 30 weeks) they have to read their notes to remember who I am. I understand they see tons of women, but with Jayne she just remembers you and asks how things are and is very friendly. I definitely have more of a bond with her.
However, although I'm having a hospital birth, I want as little interference as possible - as in, 'Dont touch me!' so it won't really matter much who I get on the day!
Rusty's been a right grumpy git, then I talked to him about it and the last few days things have been fine. Today he's slept all afternoon. I have no prob with that, it's hot and making him feel grouchy. But he's not the only one who's hot and uncomfortable. I can't even put a heat pack on my back because it's so bloody hot. I watched his bloody programs for two hours while he was asleep, then finally gave up and turned over, at which point he woke up. So now he's having a strop because i turned his bloody program off. He cant have it all ways!!
make sure you make up a birth plan so they know what your wishes are! lol!
And charcoal I wouldn't mind the fact that I might not have my midwife - its the fact that no-one bothered telling me - there's alot they haven't told me pregnancy wise and it pisses me off - such as they didn't tell me braxton hicks would be painful at the end, I'm a first time mum-to-be - they said that if the pain was still there after 3 days from my yeast infection to go back in - I phoned up on sunday - they didn't tell me to go in until MONDAY even tho I was only 36 weeks, and it's taken me from monday to saturday to find out I don't have a water infection - and the only reason I know I don't was because the midwife checked a sample for me this morning - otherwise I would still be in limbo at every pain until monday. It's really not good enough - they should explain EVERYTHING, not assume that I know what's going to happen because I don't.
I don't read pregnancy books or magazines purely because if I know what to expect I'll become a hypchondriac, and imagine pains and niggles that aren't there. The NHS really sucks x.x'
yeah, tbh, it doesn't seem like you've really had much luck with having decent midwives and hospital staff. Which is why i can understand why you'd want a home birth. Because, like you said you're a first time mum and it can be rather scary not knowing what's wrong etc and they should of really explained things too you.
The NHS aint that bad, i guess it mainly depends on where you are from.
It's so easy to get lost in constantly having to present
whatever face you believe a person wants to see rather than your own
Rusty's been a right grumpy git, then I talked to him about it and the last few days things have been fine. Today he's slept all afternoon. I have no prob with that, it's hot and making him feel grouchy. But he's not the only one who's hot and uncomfortable. I can't even put a heat pack on my back because it's so bloody hot. I watched his bloody programs for two hours while he was asleep, then finally gave up and turned over, at which point he woke up. So now he's having a strop because i turned his bloody program off. He cant have it all ways!!
I could just cry or scream or something
ugh, men.
sorry he's being a pain.
you should scream, like Marissa on the OC did, when she went mad and was like throwing things, that'd prolly scare him and let you get your own way...
It's so easy to get lost in constantly having to present
whatever face you believe a person wants to see rather than your own
I didn't see the midwives at the hospital at all, i was only seen by the community ones until i actually ended up in hospital with labour etc. The best thing i can say on this, honestly, is if when in hospital you're not happy with your midwife, do say and demand someone else come in.
Birth plans are all very well, but do prepared to possibly have to sacrafice some of what you may have wanted.
18.11 28.4 6.5 22.31
My heart just needs his smile, that i can't forget, like so melancholy a kiss.
I didn't have the midwife I'd been seeing at my birth. But to be honest at the time it really didn't make that much difference. I hardly noticed her and couldn't have cared less who was there. You go right inside yourself when you're giving birth. Try not to worry.
The midwife who delivered Esmé was my original midwife, before she got changed, so i'd seen her a few times and i'd seen her when my midwife was ill, which was quite lucky really. But when it comes to it, it doesn't really matter anyways.
It's so easy to get lost in constantly having to present
whatever face you believe a person wants to see rather than your own
I didn't want pethidine either because I heard in rare cases it can cause breathing difficulties for the baby. But when I got to hospital the midwife asked if I wanted pain relief and as I remember, my answer was 'a bit of everything'. Luckily, Madeleine came so quick I only had time for gas and air
It's on my notes that I can't have pethidine. I know from experince that, whilst it knocks me out completely, it also makes me incredibly sick. I had it after surgery a few years ago, and it stopped my arm hurting, but I ended up back in hospital a few days later because I oculdn't even keep liquid down. That is NOT how I want to spend my first few days with Harlan
