Well...I read your book today. Honestly, I was hoping and expecting something better than this. I kind of wanted to be proud of you, this is one of the reason why I read it...except I am not proud. I don't like it...at all. Sorry. I really don't see why this was published in the first place, It's seriously lacking...of course for me it was more interesting to read than it would be for the unsuspecting reader who randomly buys it (who would also get a very unpleasant surprise once he passes the first three "chapters") because I could identify certain things that, odly enough, resemble real life events I am aware of...even though you would completely deny this. All in all, it's not of my liking and I can bet it won't be liked by a lot of people, that is if a lot of people read it.
I am stupid, you see, I was expecting something more professional and a bit more worthy of publication...pero que carajo? Yo no soy escritora, yo no sé lo que digo. I realize I'm being harsh and I'm sorry but this is the way I feel. The only thing this has done is...made me feel sorry for you...not sorry, empathy, sympathy...I don't know...I just feel bad for you. I see what you're trying to do but I also see the truth...or the tip of the iceberg, which is really all I need to see to understand.
I wonder what your parents think when/if they read this. Hey, at least you got published...I hear that's hard to achieve, pat yourself on the back for that. If you're gonna do another one (which I know you will), try not to be so redundant...it bores me a bit...and tone down the whole "bitch, swallow, hard dick, masturbating, punching her face, degrading, whore" scenes...there's no need for all your books to have that in abundance. Lo mucho cansa. I want to read something more cheery...can you do cheery and happy? No? Well, something with less dick and sexual abuse then. You can do that.
I would have done the snoopy dance if I had liked it.
"...that incremental suicide of turning your life into a dream, to make being awake as similar to sleep as possible. Drowsily, lazily, dry-mouth your way through the day's ceremonies, fumble your way back into the dew-bather you never really left, draped in brown, brown now all around, the haze!" - Russell Brand on drug addiction.
"Si ma êkh gûndo piyiamásko...ándo bírto barruno. Bírto, bírto barruno."
I am doing it...
I can do it...
And it's healthy so its ok...
I need to prove to you im better than her...
I have to keep restraining myself...
When i start to fail i think of you...
'scuse me my lovely ^^^ above me i love you muchly... and don't do it. it'll mess things up. and i know i'm a hypocrit. and i'm very sorry. but please. talk to me about it? x
I know he's a knob, but i cant get over it.
I am glad you need my help, you dont know how ncie it is knowing ive done something right.
I love you so much and depend on you soo much xxxxxxxx
I want so badly to say I'm sorry. I was a selfish, jealous, deluded, hurtful bitch. I am the absolute worst friend in the world and you have every right to hate me. And all over somebody who just left me anyway. I don't just want to take it back, I want to fix it. My only hope is that I can still fix it.
Last edited by Devotchka : 10-01-2008 at 05:26 AM.
Reason: more to add
I'm slighty drunk so can't feel many emotions but I'm scared for you
I want you back here
When you're here I want you gone
But when you're gone, I want you here
It's all illogical
I miss you so very much
But I'm enjoying being able to drink all day
I just want you back here, safe
When you told me what had happened, it didn't sink in straight away, but now I'm scared
I'm so glad you're home tomorrow
I need to know you're safe
I'm close to going downstairs to cry in front of mother
But I know that'll do no good
So I'll pray like crazy that you're safe
I know I never show it but I love you so much dad
The only time you will find real light is when you're searching in the dark..
im not fine
why did i tell you i was ok now
i need to talk to you, but i cant because 'im fine'.
its better if you think im fine, then you dont have to worry
God i dont know what to do
please someone help me...
im not ok when you go, im not fine
I'm sick of this. I am so damn sick of this stalemate. I know you want to be there for me, to help me, but you're too afraid to reach out to me. But I want you to. Because when I come crying to you, I feel like such a burden, and you don't need that. But when you come to me and ask if I'm ok, I feel so loved. I know you care about me. You wouldn't leave your house at 10 PM, drive the 45 minutes back into town, and leave your own 11 year old daughter home alone for just anyone. But I am so glad you did, because you saved me that night. I still feel guilty about you leaving your daughter that night, even though she was ok.
I know you worry about me. I notice things. The searching, doubtful looks you give me every day when I say, "I'm ok." The cryptic comments you drop trying to get me to open up. The way you analyze everything I say for dual meaning. But I can't just open up to you out of the blue--that's not the way I am and you know it. So call, text, email, or talk to me. I promise if we are in private, I will open up to you. I'm dying to. But I just need you to ask.
And I'm sorry that's the way I am.
I know how much you have on your plate right now, and I'm sorry to add one more worry, one more burden.
I'm sorry it's so hard for me to be honest.
I'm sorry I'm a hypocrite.
I'm sorry you have to put up with me.
I'm sorry for being so angry about this when it's mainly my fault.
I'm just sorry.
