Yeah, I saw your thread and I agree with Hannah. I do think you should apply, is there anyone who could go through the forms with you?
Ah, I'm alright with it. Just making dinner now and will hopefully get some work done tomorrow and I see my CPN and have training so the day won't be too long I don't think. I'm more nervous about my work place starting next week. It's a 12 hour day and is just over half an hour's drive away, so it's going to be a long day and I don't know what I'll be doing and I can't even do college at the moment, let alone anything else. Idk.
Dinner sounds good. What are you having? I'm glad you've got things to be doing tomorrow. :) That does sound like a long day. What kind of placement is it? Do you have to do 12 hours or could they adjust things slightly for you?
Thanks. I went to the CAB today and we filled in the forms. They can use the evidence that they used for DLA a few months ago, and my Mum and manager are going to write me a letter.
“Our defeats are softened and our victories are sweetened because we did it together.” - Toby Ziegler.
That's good. I'm glad you've gotten that sorted even if you are still doubting yourself about it. I really do think you deserve it and should use it at the moment.
I'm having chicken dippers. I'm supposed to have pasta with it too but I really can't face cooking. Even pasta.
It's placement in a nursing home and they can't really adjust it because I need to go on the rosta and those are the hours they do. I just feel at the moment I'm struggling through college and I come home and I'm just useless.
I know that feeling. I had dinner cooked in the microwave, even though it said "not suitable for microwave cooking" on the packet. Tasted alright. Chicken dippers sound good! With tomato sauce?
I can understand that, yes. Does the home know that you sometimes struggle? Are college aware of it? You are definitely not useless, but it must be hard to imagine coping if you're already finding things hard with college. Please do speak out if it's too much.
My mother said that sometimes I am "unhygienic." I guess that's what you get when your flat sometimes is such a tip that you live with flies. I really am gross. I hate this so, so much. Mum said she needs to be honest for the PIP thing, and that I'm not to take it to heart. How can I not though? I know these things, but it hurts when there are down on paper.
“Our defeats are softened and our victories are sweetened because we did it together.” - Toby Ziegler.
It is very hard to hear it when people you love are telling you what you're like when you're unwell. However, PIP need to know what you're like when you're at your worst in order to make a proper assessment. It's painful but necessary and has no bearing on you as a human being. It's no reflection on your warm spirit, good friendness or anything like that.
Chicken dippers with tomato sauce, aye! Has to be that way...
My college know some things, like they know I have mental health issues and stuff but there's nothing they can do to help me right now, I just need to buck up and get my **** together.
It is hard, but it'll be beneficial in the long run. No one's saying you have to be on benefits forever either, just for now.
That's all it stems down to though. I go through this rigmarole so often. I should just snap out of it already. It's ridiculous. The thoughts and everything. Just ridiculous.
If that's all it stemmed down to, this site wouldn't exist because we'd all just snap out of it and get our **** together. What thoughts are you having? Want to talk about them?
I'm starting to feel really, really anxious. Like anxious so I can't quite catch my breath. I don't really know what to do. I need to sleep at some point because I have a 9 hour day tomorrow.
“Our defeats are softened and our victories are sweetened because we did it together.” - Toby Ziegler.
Could you try some paced breathing? Or maybe do something creative, or even just scribble all over a piece of paper. Do you have any techniques that might help with the anxiety?
Not everyone on this site, they have legitimate problems. I'm just lazy. Just thoughts of hurting myself. A method I've never used before and it's driving me crazy. It's crept in over the last few days.
You are not lazy. Lazy people do not try their hardest to go to college to educate themselves. Your problems are legitimate. Mental health professionals do not see people who are just lazy, and you're seeing your CPN tomorrow - you wouldn't have that support if they thought you were just a flake. Thought to hurt yourself are hard. Is there a reason behind the thoughts? Or are they the intrusive kind that seem to come from nowhere?
I'm trying to control my breathing and it's helping a bit. I'm going to watch The Apprentice in a minute because watching something a bit mindless can help. I think I might make some Ovaltine. My electric blanket is on and I can wrap up in my duvet. I'd call my Mum, but her talking about how **** I am at everything is what's causing the anxiety.
“Our defeats are softened and our victories are sweetened because we did it together.” - Toby Ziegler.
I agree with everything you both said to each other but have nothing to add :P
Ducky, those sound like good plans. You're not **** at everything, I wish you weren't so hard on yourself lovely.
"I know you're sad, so I won't tell you to have a good day. Instead, I advise you to simply have a day.
Stay alive, feed yourself well, wear comfortable clothes, and don't give up on yourself just yet.
It'll get better. Until then, have a day."
I feel pretty horrendous to be honest. I don't really know why. My day has just been an average day.
"I know you're sad, so I won't tell you to have a good day. Instead, I advise you to simply have a day.
Stay alive, feed yourself well, wear comfortable clothes, and don't give up on yourself just yet.
It'll get better. Until then, have a day."
"I know you're sad, so I won't tell you to have a good day. Instead, I advise you to simply have a day.
Stay alive, feed yourself well, wear comfortable clothes, and don't give up on yourself just yet.
It'll get better. Until then, have a day."
That sounds like a good plan, Ducky. I hope it helps some. Would it help if your mum reaffirmed that she's not judging you or being mean? I'm sure she doesn't think badly of you, which is exactly why she's writing that.
*Hugs Hannah* Is there anything you want to talk about lovely?
*Hugs Ali* How are you doing tonight?
I think my professionals are sick of me and the only advice they have is to keep doing what I'm doing but it's getting harder. They're very intrusive thoughts to be honest and I'm a bit scared to go upstairs to bed.
I think you are all being to hard on yourselves at the moment. I know benefits are frustrating but it doesn't have to be forever. I also find it hard to hear my faults/it being written down but again it is things you can overcome with time.
At the moment I am struggling to do things due to anxiety (yeah I am 17 again lol) and I know it is stupid, I know it doesn't work to just not do it but hearing people say that I just need to get on with it is hard because it's like hiding from the truth maybe? I know but I ignore it etc. So I can relate.
I feel sick. I don't know if I am ill or if it is anxiety. I worry I will be sick. Least I am not going out for cigarettes and am in bed trying to keep warm.
I had a good day though. Got the venue confirmed for the young people's event on Sunday. Volunteered at the shop, got offered an interview for the job I applied for (that I am not qualified for) so buzzing about that (although anxious) and then went to the cinema with mum to watch 'they call me maleha' which was amazing.
Life can be beautiful if you let it.
Step back, breathe and take it in
Oh, Leigh, I am super happy for you that you got an interview! That's amazing :) WHen is it? I'm sorry you're struggling so much with anxiety? I know it can be so so difficult and people telling you you need to do things probably doesn't help! Can you try to set little manageable goals for yourself?
Amy I don't think anyone is sick of you. *squish* Is there anything that would help tonight, relaxation or distraction or something until you feel able to go to bed? Did you say you're seeing your CPN soon? Would it help to write things down beforehand to get across how difficult things are?
"I know you're sad, so I won't tell you to have a good day. Instead, I advise you to simply have a day.
Stay alive, feed yourself well, wear comfortable clothes, and don't give up on yourself just yet.
It'll get better. Until then, have a day."
