how would you respond if you were told you're going to die a martyr? a prophet whose prophecies have been coming true told me that. it fills me with immense joy.
It feels like your life's crashing down all around you
Let me ask if it's really so bad
Look at the world in it's suffering
Can you honestly tell me that know one else could understand
All the hurting inside
Chorus
Why can't you see that freedom is sometimes simply another perspective away
Who could you be if your lens was changed for a moment,
Would you still be the same
A young child looks through a great stained glass window
Watching the people go by
Everyone seems to be wearing a red coat
His mother sees jackets in white
Now he can't understand why does she see it this way
Chorus
Yesterday, you really couldn't see
By changing your angle a new world would be
Revealed to your once blinded eyes by moving a few degrees
Chorus
Then wear the gold hat, if that will move her;
If you can bounce high, bounce for her too,
Till she cry "Lover, gold-hatted, high-bouncing lover,
I must have you!"
Thomas Parke D’Invilliers
so i have this app on fb and today's 'message' waaas:
On this day, God wants you to know...
... that your task is not to seek for love, but to seek and melt all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it. God loves you with the very air you breath, the very light that touches your skin, the very ground that supports you. Love is everywhere, - ...melt your barriers, and you will have love in abundance.
>.> i gettttttttt it >< lol [no comments from the peanut gallery :P]
/good song tom =]
“The good things don’t always soften the bad, but vice-versa, the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.”
“Nobody important? Blimey, that’s amazing. Do you know, in nine hundred years of time and space I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t important before.”
“If it’s time to go, remember what you’re leaving. Remember the best. My friends have always been the best of me.”
I feel like God has abandoned me and my family. Everything is going wrong for us and we are falling apart. I don't know what to do? Why isn't He listening to my prayers any more?
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
In this world, there are few certainties. God is one. His promises are true and we can wholly trust Him to keep His Word, to do exactly what He promises to do. In the key passage today, we find an impressive set of promises. God promises to free us - direct us - restore us - give us joy and invites us to join Him in Kingdom work. Wow! That is quite an impressive "to do list" when you are sitting at the bottom of an ugly pit, with the shattered pieces of your life scattered around you. But God's ways are not our ways. In Romans 11:33, Paul writes "Oh, what a wonderful God we have! How great are his riches, wisdom, and knowledge. How impossible it is for us to understand his decisions and his methods." (NIV) God is drawn to brokenness. What an amazing truth, that He turns first to the broken. Psalm 40:1 says "He turned to me." Notice it does not say that David, the author, turned to God. I don't think that David could turn to God! Knowing the desire of David's heart and understanding his weakness, God heard his cry and turned to David just like God will hear your cry and turn to you! During the darkest hours, I questioned God continually. I flung my anger at Him like a spear. My heart and soul were filled with fear and confusion instead of faith and trust. Yet, He never turned away from me. He knew every tear that I cried. Out of those tears and brokenness has come the most effective and powerful chapter of my life! I am convinced that the more we are broken, the more we are used. You can count on God. You can credit His grace to your account! Mercy is when we don't get what we deserve.
Justice is when we get what we do deserve.
Grace is when we get what we do not deserve.
We are trophies of God's grace and we can count on Him.
Psalm 40:1 "I waited patiently for the Lord."
In this verse, "patiently" literally means "without tiring" or "with perseverance". Be patient with yourself. Don't give up on you. No one gets depressed overnight and no one conquers depression overnight. It is a marathon, not a fifty yard dash! On my journey, it took 45 years to hit rock bottom. It has taken me four years to climb out ... this far. I am still climbing! We must be patient. We must be willing to persevere. Don't give up! Just give in and allow God to take control. He will turn that pit into an altar on which your broken spirit can be laid as a sweet sacrifice of praise.
Philippians 1:6 "And I am sure that God who began the good work within you will keep right on helping you grow in his grace until his task within you is finally finished on that day when Jesus Christ returns."
God is at work! The very fact that you are reading this devotion is proof that the Father has ordered your steps so that you can hear my story. That may be because you are in a pit and you need help or maybe because someone you love is in that pit and you need to help them. God wants you to experience restoration and then to be a vessel of restoration for others...
Right now, right where you are, understand that your Father is standing beside you, with His arms wrapped around you. Listen as He gently speaks, "Don't stop! Keep on! Don't quit!"
I know that the music of your darkened soul may be filled with chaos and dissonance, but even now, the Master is composing the "rest" of your song. One day very soon, it will be a song of beauty and light! One day, you will come out of the dark!
Oh God, right now I choose to wait on You, crying out for Your hand of mercy and love to deliver me from this pit of darkness. I abandon myself to You and am counting on You to be my Redeemer and Friend. Give me the courage to share my pain with others and ask for help. Now, in the presence of my enemies of darkness and depression, I celebrate the victory. Thank You, Father!
In Jesus' name,
Amen.
one of the discussion questions?...
Examine the deepest desires of your heart. Do you really want to escape this pit of darkness? Does the freedom frighten you? Why? [owww =\]
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... really now? i quite think this has gone a bit overboard >.>
Last edited by risenfromperdition : 09-01-2010 at 06:23 AM.
“The good things don’t always soften the bad, but vice-versa, the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.”
“Nobody important? Blimey, that’s amazing. Do you know, in nine hundred years of time and space I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t important before.”
“If it’s time to go, remember what you’re leaving. Remember the best. My friends have always been the best of me.”
and because julie decided to send me what sheeeeeeee got:
Today Jesus is standing at the door of your heart, pleading with
you to forgive and lay the pain of the past at the foot of the cross.
Take a moment to be still precious child.
All who come to him, he will never cast away!
Release the anger and allow the Holy Spirit to
flood your soul with inner peace.
Rest beloved…
Let him love you!
MEH >.>
“The good things don’t always soften the bad, but vice-versa, the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.”
“Nobody important? Blimey, that’s amazing. Do you know, in nine hundred years of time and space I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t important before.”
“If it’s time to go, remember what you’re leaving. Remember the best. My friends have always been the best of me.”
Heather: I really wish you'd leave me out of it haha...Lord knows you give, as good as/better than you get :P (ps....Bite me.....)
Everyone else, sorry I haven't been on here at all lately, things have been erm....chaotic and my world's been flipped upside down,but I have been following the email updates.
This is incredibly selfish of me, but I have a question to ask you all. **Might Trigger for SA**( You might want to skip this Heather, pretty sure you've already heard most of it haha) Looong story (hopefully) short my aunt called me on my long sleeves back in October and left me no way out, so after much attempted denial on my part she subsequently discovered my SI, I finally start getting somewhat used to the fact that she knows and 2 weeks ago(on Sunday) my uncle(her husband) and I got into a debate on what you can control in your life and what you can't, I commented that you can't control what others do to you and he disagreed because we choose the company we keep, and I pointed out that sometimes you have no reason not to trust someone until it's too late, anyway, I didn't think my aunt was listening, it was like 4am and she was overtired and randomly doodling I thought, wrong, she ultimately hands me a note asking "Did he rape you? Nod your head yes or no." anyway, the conversation has now turned to my getting baptized, problem is it's full immersion and the pastor's a good sized man, I tried to explain to her that yes, I want to do it, but I don't know how I'll react to a man grabbing me and trying to put me underwater, I realize it's only a couple minutes, but it's complete loss of control to a man.....again...and I realize that she's (thankfully) never been assaulted, so she doesn't understand and I'm doing my best to explain where I'm coming from, but I feel like I'm failing miserably....so I was wondering if I posted the relevant parts of our email conversations, if you could tell me, if I'm doing as horrible a job as I feel like I am, and if anyone had any tips for making myself any clearer...
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Her: About you getting baptized, I am so proud of you. Once you do that, I promise you will recover. Washing all your sins away and memories to start over. I love it when someone is born again. Then if you allow the Holy Spirit in your life, wow what a change you will feel in your life. I am still praying and believing that your life if changing. Keep up your faith. Don't put yourself down. I love you and so does JESUS!! :)
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Me: I do want to be baptized, I'm just not exactly sure how I'm going to react to a man trying to put me completely under water....I can tell myself he's safe, he's not going to hurt you, you're being irrational, you're fine, you can trust him, but I used those same things to convince myself I was being foolish when I was nervous of going with this other guy....That said, maybe God'll intevene and it won't even cross my mind, everything will be fine, but life has no guarantees and I don't want to start off a new life by fighting with/panicking on the pastor......
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Her: You have nothing to worry about with the Pastor. He is suppose to baptize us , that's what God wants him to do. Besides, he baptized everyone in my family, don't be afraid. He is someone you should trust.
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Me: Logically I know this, but it doesn't help, I was "supposed" to trust the other guy too, and it's not that I'm so much worried that he's going to do anything, yes it's always in the back of my mind that, if ****** could do it when everybody trusted him, then I always have to be on guard because I never know who's capable of it, but that's fine, I'm used to that, it wouldn't stop me. I'm more concerned that having him grab me and put me underwater is going to take me back to that day and I'm going to panic. I know it's only a couple minutes, but it's still a man who's got complete control and I've got none in that moment, and I've fought to keep myself out of situations like that, if it was as simple as "I should therefore I do/I will" things would be much easier, but it's not that simple, it's not a voluntary reaction. I realize that I probably sound crazy/over-reacting/foolish, but I'm going to stop here because I don't have the words to accurately explain it (I don't know if the right words even exist to describe the feeling, and I thank God that you haven't been there to understand it...) and I suspect that the more I try to explain, I'm only going to screw it up/confuse you and you're probably going to get frustrated because it's probably going to sound like I'm not listening to you (I am, I promise, and I do appreciate your input) or am just trying to be difficult(I'm really not) and I'll probably get frustrated that I can't explain it so you can understand, and I really don't want this to turn into something that's going to cause frustration/exasperation/anything else, I was just trying to explain where I was coming from. Right now I'm just praying for peace about the whole situation....
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Wow, sorry guys, that took up A LOT more space than I thought it would...but yeah, any ideas on how I can make it any clearer....and am I overreacting in finding that her last email stings a little? I KNOW I'm being irrational, I KNOW that I should trust him, but Trust and Should don't mean a thing when it was somebody everybody trusted and you were told you "should" trust as well, who put you in this position to begin with......opinions/input anyone? I'm sorry for the novel but I do appreciate that you took the time to read it and/or offer your opinions....~Julie
I try to love the sinner but it's more than the sin will allow. I've looked a long time into the dark,
hoping the truth would show me how
~Bad Cliché
*pulls close*
i've got no advice unfortunately, but i think you worded it well and it makes alot of sense. you know where i am <3
“The good things don’t always soften the bad, but vice-versa, the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.”
“Nobody important? Blimey, that’s amazing. Do you know, in nine hundred years of time and space I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t important before.”
“If it’s time to go, remember what you’re leaving. Remember the best. My friends have always been the best of me.”
*hugs* I don't have much in the way of advice either. I've been hurt like that too and I've never been good at explaining why I have issues to this day. Is there a counselor that can maybe talk to her and explain what's going on? Sometimes people are more willing to listen to a professional.
Does your church require the pastor to baptize? I know some allow others with standing in the church to do so. If that is the case, maybe there's a woman with high standing in the church who could baptize you instead.
Hi, I don't know why I'm posting this - I guess I feel the need to share how I feel, but basically I feel that God is mad at me even tho I know deep down he is not and this is just a lie from the enemy. I just keep messing up all the time and I wonder if somebody can make the same mistake one too many times. I always try not to mess up and to be good but I end up failing and I feel terrible!
I'd really like to be a leader some day or go on mission, but at the moment I don't see how God could use a person like me. I'm afraid to even apply to go onto mission or do some leadership training as I'm scared of being rejected. What if people say I cannot do it?? And also what if I mess up at trying?
i'll come back and reply in a bit, but just wanted to say i know exactly how you feel ><
“The good things don’t always soften the bad, but vice-versa, the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.”
“Nobody important? Blimey, that’s amazing. Do you know, in nine hundred years of time and space I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t important before.”
“If it’s time to go, remember what you’re leaving. Remember the best. My friends have always been the best of me.”
Hey guys.
I was wondering if anyone could pray for me? *blushes*
I've been feeling very lonely lately and I just feel I need a nudge in the right direction from God.
I have been a bit lost from him the last week or so. In actual fact... this is the first time i've thought about God this week I think...
I'll quit the rambling now.
Thanks,
Eloise x
“The good things don’t always soften the bad, but vice-versa, the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.”
“Nobody important? Blimey, that’s amazing. Do you know, in nine hundred years of time and space I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t important before.”
“If it’s time to go, remember what you’re leaving. Remember the best. My friends have always been the best of me.”
“The good things don’t always soften the bad, but vice-versa, the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.”
“Nobody important? Blimey, that’s amazing. Do you know, in nine hundred years of time and space I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t important before.”
“If it’s time to go, remember what you’re leaving. Remember the best. My friends have always been the best of me.”
I have heard that the eagle is the only bird who will fly into a storm. I like relating to the eagle because I know the quicker I face my pain, the faster I pass through the stormy time. On the other side of the storm I always find a beautiful rainbow. In this rainbow the colors show me the strength and courage which I had not known I possessed. This strength and courage gives me hope to face whatever lies ahead.
As I submit to the death of the known patterns, I pray You will lead me to a new way of life with new patterns.
The gifts of growth and healing are available for me. I only need to accept them.
Today I will accept my past. I will try to learn what I can from those experiences which cause me the most pain. I will be kind to myself, giving me credit for the things I have accomplished and not dwell on the things I have not done. With what I learn from my experiences and the will and strength of my Higher Power, I will try to make a better today and look forward to tomorrow.
Help me to accept and learn from my past so I can continue with my emotional and spiritual growth.
Painful experiences are not shameful, but rather a way I can better come to know myself.
I am unable to alter, even in the slightest, my self-worth. My value as a human being is determined and fixed by God who has made me a worthwhile person, and there is nothing I can do to change that. Nothing. However, my feelings about me and my worth do change from day to day, from moment to moment, because that is the way it is with feelings: they change. I am powerless over my emotions, including the emotion of self-esteem.
Help me to accept myself today as I am, even if my self-esteem is not as high as I would like it to be.
My value comes from God, not from anything I do or fail to do.
various things recently >.> REALLY NOW. haha
“The good things don’t always soften the bad, but vice-versa, the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.”
“Nobody important? Blimey, that’s amazing. Do you know, in nine hundred years of time and space I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t important before.”
“If it’s time to go, remember what you’re leaving. Remember the best. My friends have always been the best of me.”
For some reason, I have put off posting on this thread because I am experiencing problems with my faith. I know that God exists, I just feel a little abandoned and yet I don't want to say that because I don't want him to hate me... if that makes sense.
I am struggling with my faith. When I was about to be discharged from hospital and was upset the Chaplain came over to me. She started talking really loudly and reading from this book. Everyone was staring at me and I was so embarressed. I feel bad for feeling embarressed because I do believe, I just didn't like her voicing it. How do I kind of not associate religion with this difficult experience? If any of this makes sense.
I know i need you
I need to love you
I love to see you, and its been so long
i long to feel you
i feel this need for you'
and i need to hear you
is that so wrong?
oh oh oh, oh oh oh, oh oh oh
now you pulled me near you
when we're close i fear you
still im afraid to tell you
all that i've done
are you done forgiving?
or can you look pass my pretending?
Lord i'm so tired of defending
what i've become
what have i become?
oh oh, oh oh, oh oh. (repeat 4)
i hear you say "my love is over,
its underneath, its inside, its in between the times you doubt me, when you can't feel
the times that you've questioned 'is this for real?'
the times you've broken, the times that you mend
the times you hate me and the times that you bend
well my love is over, its underneath
its inside, its in between, these times you're healing
and when your heart breaks
the times that you feel like you've fallen from grace
the times you're hurting
the times that you heal
the times you go hungry and *are tempted* to steal in times of confusion and chaos and pain
im there in your sorrow under the weight of your shame
im there through your heartache
im there in the storm
my love i will keep you by my power alone i dont care where you've fallen, where you have been
i'll never forsake you
my love never ends, it never ends
mmm, mmm
oh oh, oh oh, oh oh
Love of my life
Look deep in my eyes
There you will find what you need
Give me your life
Lust and the lies
The past you're afraid I might see
You've been running away from me
You're my beloved
Lover I'm yours
Death shall not part us It's you I died for
For better or worse
Forever we'll be
Our Love it unites us
It binds you to me
It's a mystery
Love of my life
Look deep in my eyes
There you will find what you need
I'am the giver of life
I'll clothe you in white
My immaculate bride you will be Oh come running home to me
You're my beloved
Lover I'm yours
Death shall not part us
It's you I died for
For better or worse
Forever we'll be
Our Love it unites us
It binds you to me
Well you've been a mistress, my wife Chasing lovers it won't satisfy
Won't you let me make you my bride
You will drink of my lips
And you'll taste new life
Cause you're my beloved
Lover I'm yours
Death shall not part us
It's you I died for
For better or worse
Forever we'll be
Our Love it unites us
& it binds you to me
You're my beloved
Forever we'll be
Our love it unites us
And it binds you to me
It's a mystery
It's a mystery
How long must I pray, must I pray to You?
How long must I wait, must I wait for You?
How long 'til I see Your face, see You shining through?
I'm on my knees, begging You to notice me.
I'm on my knees, Father will You turn to me?
One tear in the driving rain,
One voice in a sea of pain
Could the maker of the stars
Hear the sound of my breaking heart?
One life, that's all I am
Right now I can barely stand
If You're everything You say You are
Would You come close and hold my heart
I've been so afraid, afraid to close my eyes
So much can slip away before I say goodbye. But if there's no other way, I'm done asking why.
I'm on my knees, begging You to turn to me
I'm on my knees, Father will You run to me?
One tear in the driving rain,
One voice in a sea of pain
Could the maker of the stars
Hear the sound of my breaking heart?
One life, that's all I am
Right now I can barely stand
If You're everything You say You are
Would You come close and hold my heart.
So many questions without answers, Your promises remain
I can't see but I'll take my chances to hear You call my name
To hear You call my name
One tear in the driving rain,
One voice in a sea of pain
Could the maker of the stars
Hear the sound of my breaking heart?
One life, that's all I am
Right now I can barely stand
If You're everything You say You are
Won't You come close and hold my heart.
Hold my heart, could you hold my heart?
Hold my heart.
Last edited by risenfromperdition : 10-01-2010 at 02:07 AM.
“The good things don’t always soften the bad, but vice-versa, the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.”
“Nobody important? Blimey, that’s amazing. Do you know, in nine hundred years of time and space I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t important before.”
“If it’s time to go, remember what you’re leaving. Remember the best. My friends have always been the best of me.”
