awww *hugs* I've never really had that problem, as I tend to hide how i'm feeling pretty well. How did she act to make you think she was surprised? Also, don't feel bad for crying. Crying in itself is a healthy coping mechanism. You should be proud:)
A thousand mile journey starts with the first step
Join Date: Oct 2009
I am currently:
I can hide it really well but there's only so much I can hide and how long I can hied it for before th cracks begin to show.
Well a lot of people in the past have said "I'm surprised your not on medication" and she said that it was surprising that they left me to do it by myself after being diagnosed with BPD.
Feel so ill this morning, just wanna crawl back into bed and sleep.
hi kitkat:) dont feel bad for crying, i do that as a way of trying to cope and to be honest its hard to keep up a certain way of behaving when people think you are a certain person. I did this from when i was 14 and now im 38 and still going through the same cycle of trying to be someone im not, just to please other people. Now i dont know who i am. Please do pm me if i can help in any way, even if you want to rant about something, im always here *hugs*
im upset now and i dont know why, i keep thinking of things that happened in the past and i cant seem to get past it, at the moment i think how things would be better if i got rid of myself and let others live their lives without me around cos i know im a burden to my kids and stuff
hi kitkat:) i really understand how you feel, honestly. I, like you have never seen a picture of my dad, ive heard about him and ive been told that im like him in so much that i drink and have a bad temper. My dad raped my mum, thats how she had me, and she was told by family members to get rid of me and as i got older she took it out on me. I look in the mirror sometimes and i see what i really am, and im ashamed to be here. Nobody knows what i go through and i keep the facade of being happy go lucky, not giving a ****, but please dont let what you are going through, affect you like it did to me *hugs*
A thousand mile journey starts with the first step
Join Date: Oct 2009
I am currently:
I was told that my Dad got in trouble with people he borrowed money from, long story short he was getting death threats, tried and failed to get a gun so he fled the country and went to Scotland or something. Thing is he doesn't even know I exist. As far as he knows he didn't have a child by my Mum.
I know how you feel, sometimes I look in the mirror and I wonder where I changed so much, where I went so wrong. I'm ashamed of the person I am but I don't know how to change, I can't go back to the way I was but I can't carry on being like this.
I don't even know what's going to happen to me in the future. Like, obviously no one does but its a bad kind of uncertainty.
kitkat:) you aint done anything wrong, you cant be responsible for what happened, it wasnt your fault. You were the innocent person in all this. Please dont let this affect you like it affected me, if im being honest, im just coming to terms with all this and its taken years, but you are stronger than that *hugs*
Sometimes I feel like I'm not strong enough to fight another day, but now whenever I get a suicidal thought, or wanting to act on that thought i say 'just leave it one more day - see how things go tomorrow'. so far this positive way of thinking has helped me a lot to stay here:) Maybe you need to think more positively about the situation (not that it's very nice to think about). Instead of thinking 'my dad abandoned me' think 'my dad didn't know I existed and if he knew he'd be right here, being a proper dad'. Metaphorically slap me if I'm talking utter b******s. I don't know what you're going through, as it's stuff I've never had to deal with. But keep talking to us, yeah? xxx
heard something bad about my son and i dont know how to deal with it, hes got himself mixed up with drugs and the guy pushing him is 20 years older and has a record for manslaughter
I asked him and he says that he needs the money etc, but i think that hes afraid of this guy as well. At the moment he owes this bloke money which doesnt help and im frightened about what can happen to my son :(
Hi everyone. Feel a bit rude interrupting and everything but I have a question for anyone who is more 'in the know' about this sort of thing.
Basically I've been experiencing energy and mood fluctuations for quite a while now. I never know what mood I'm going to be in one day from the next. It's incredibly confusing. My sleeping habits have been screwed up for five years. Most of the time I can't sleep till 5am/7am and sometimes don't feel like I need sleep. I've done all sorts on literally no sleep the previous night. Granted, I'm completely mental/rambling/hyper/agitated.
I've been to my GP but because I concentrated on my depressive feelings she's leaning more towards clinical depression. I don't believe this is the case. The irritability and amount of uncontrollable energy is the opposite to the fatigue paralysing lack of energy which was symptomatic of the depression I experienced growing up. For instance, I've felt suicidal with my inability to control how I'm feeling and regularly use self-harm to control it.
I contacted a helpline and they said it sounded like a kind of rapid-cycling bipolar, but they obviously weren't in any position to diagnose. I've looked up bipolar symptoms and though I definitely have a few I'm really confused about this. I just don't feel I've ever felt manic enough or depressed enough.
Sorry, this is incredibly long (it's 3.30am and I can't sleep) but could anyone who has been diagnosed with bipolar enlighten me a bit and maybe give some advice on how I can explain this to my GP? She's the professional and I'm not exactly a mental illness expert, but I just don't feel it's just depression.
A thousand mile journey starts with the first step
Join Date: Oct 2009
I am currently:
Hope everyone's okay, sorry to hear some of you are struggling *offers safe hugs*
Sorry Carrina I don't really know, I'm not diagnosed with bipolar. Maybe when you go to the doctors you could tell her about some of the manic symptoms too? Maybe she thinks its clinical depression because that's what you're focusing on.
