*hugs all* I wish I had the words... just please keep strong :/
Just... ugh... not sure I'm going to make it through this week. I can't stand it.
Don't even know why I'm posting >.< Waste of time/space and why bother. Sorry.
Please talk to me. Email or pm or hear.
Wanna know whats goi on n try to help or comfort you.
I dont want you to go.
Plese
*squishes you*
These kicks take me far away my dear; Far away from myself Far away from my troubles
Far away from heaven
I'm starting to wonder why I haven't done it yet. Trying to think about why I've held on so long...but I can't think of any more reasons.
♥It's the ups and downs of living life this way. Promise me you'll never go away. Just stay with me through one more night because it's always darkest before the light and now I promise you I'll never turn away. I won't let you give us one less heart to break...♥
*hugs to everyone* im sorry i have no words again at the moment. Please keep fighting though.
I don't know why I am still here, but I know it won't be for much longer. I can't do this any longer. I really can't. I know its an easy way out, I know its a permanent answer to a temporary problem, but I don't care anymore, I just can't take it. It's too hard and i'm too tired to fight. I don't want to fight anymore. Please let me go.
Im sorry i'm not sure why I am posting this...
Have you ever looked fear in the face and said "I just don't care"?
For most of the day I haven't felt as bad as normal but I keep getting horrible flashes of severe SI and driving into traffic, particularily trucks. They are so hard to fight when they come. When I was admitted to hospital it was because I could no longer fight and drove through red lights and into traffic. I don't want to go there again. Please help.
I was fine for a couple weeks. Things were looking up. I thought I'd really turned things around. I was even feeling well enough that I decided not to enter therapy after all. Then I woke up today and just felt completely depressed. I called out of work as I just couldn't bring myself to go in. I've barely left this dark room all day. I felt perfectly fine less than 24 hours ago! There's no rhyme or reason for me to feel so down today.
I can't do this forever. I can't just go through life knowing I can have a random bout of sadness or depression come out of nowhere with no warning. I can't live like this for the next 50-60 years. I mean, hell I went 4+ years no signs of depression until 6 months ago then it hit me again out of nowhere. I'm sorry but nothing in life is worth this. I can never truly be happy if I'm constantly looking over my shoulder to see if my mental problems are gonna chase me down again.
I just want to die. I can't do this. I can not function in this world. No one understands not even my family. I'm completely alone and no one deserves this. Nothing excites me. Nothing brings me joy right now. I can only hope this will all be over. Oh and to those who will say I should do therapy, I'm not. I've had nothing but bad experiences with it in the past and it never helped me before so there's no reason to think it will help me now.
Sure, I may wake up tomorrow and feel completely fine. I may feel fine the next day or for weeks thereafter or even years thereafter. Honestly, it's the unpredictability of my own mental health that makes everything that much worse. The past few weeks I was hopeful, now there is no hope.
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin’ with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken
