I just can't see the point in being here anymore. I really can't. It's just exhausting and humiliating. It would be so good to close my eyes and never wake up.
I don't understand why I keep messing things up and ending up feeling this way, its like my brain doesn't want me to live, I try not to do it but it keeps happening.
I feel like a worthless pathetic disgusting waste of life
NOn volo. You are precious. I Think you have so much to offer. Just look at how much you help people here. I hope you can start feeling some better. Are you telling someone in rl how you feel?
I can't help anyone, I can't even help myself, maybe it's too late for any help.
I have nothing to give or at least nothing good to give, there is only bad and the sooner I stop ruining the lives of other people the better.
Edit
I retract what I said, I realize now I was wrong, I'm not ruining lives and I do have plenty of good to give but nobody wants it anyway so there's still no point.
Last edited by non volo : 11-02-2012 at 04:27 AM.
Reason: realization
Why do I keep on going ? Everybody thinks I'm better. I thought I was better. But when I see how I could stop it all, I'm starting to wonder.
I don't want to hold on anymore. So why should I ?
-- English is not my mother-tongue, so I apologize for any spelling/grammar mistake --
I don't know what's happening to me... i was feeling great this morning then i got to school and people i thought were my friends just started yelling at me and just started hitting me cause it was "fun" i had to sit in class with them while they torment me more and i couldn't concentrate... i can't remember most of my day... all i could think is ways i could end this... i really need someone to talk to... please
Meowvel. I'm so sorry that happened to you. Please don't consider suicide. It's a permanent solution to a temporary problem. And you are worth living for. Did you tell anyone what was happening? Can you now? Hugs
I was doing better...and then I wasn't. I reached out but no one was there. All I ever am is let down and alone. I'm so tired of constantly trying. This can't be my life. I don't want it anymore.
I'm in a really bad spot tonight. I'm at a point where I feel like no one wants me around...and I really don't know why. I try to be really nice to people, I always put other people first...but those people always have someone better that they'd rather be with. I've felt suicidal since I was 14 years old and it's been a really long 11 years. I just...want to be done. I don't want to fight anymore, I don't even have anyone to fight for. So if no one wants me around and I don't want to be around...I find it ridiculous that I have to stay around. :(
It's me, and I can't get myself to go away
Oh God I shouldn't feel this way
Reach down your hand in your pocket
Pull out some hope for me
It's been a long day, always ain't that right
And no Lord your hand won't stop it
Just keep you trembling
It's been a long day, always ain't that right
ABrokenOne - I've always put other people ahead of me. And like you, I find they always have something more important to them than their friendship with me.
I know it's very little in the big scheme of things - but you being around just proves to me that there are other people out there like me, that care about friendship and would be there when another needs them.
It's a horrible feeling when you put yourself out there for someone, and they just shut you down or toss you aside - trust me I know. But do not, ever, hate/dislike/get down on yourself because of it. It doesn't mean that you're worthless or unwanted - it just shows how much better you are than them. They don't deserve your love or effort, not the other way around.
Being compassionate and a wonderful friend can be a painful gift - but it is a gift. xx
