i can only electively have co-consciousness and haven't a clue how to switch co-separately with other people (and i call them people because i want to demonstrate my respect for them even though we can have massive differences)
Found Middle Ground... just a personal thought, but does your therapist have specific training in working with dissociative stuff? coming from a community of trauma therapists, i don't know one that would make that kind of statement
Bleeding Black - we're struggling with holiday anniversaries too.
Does anybody else seem to have a main one or particularly controlling one in their system? Lola is very controlling and with all the anniversaries around now and upset, she's getting worse.
slacker, if you're talking what i think you are, i do that too. i always hoped someone else would understand. i don't know how to help but i hear you. don't hurt yourself like that though - you've been hurt too much already (not to mention how extremely dangerous it is). i don't really know what to say, i want to help more, but i'm with you on how hard it is, to talk about and to deal with.
my most "controlling" part is the three-year old, Pink. she just cries and screams all the time. Jenny is the strongest though, the strongest willed. i don't know, it's fine. sorry.
struggle with New Year. very bad times. hope everyone can not be alone over the holiday period.
Laura (whirlpools)... thank you for getting what's going on for me. what you said has made a difference internally. thank you. what you said is true for me and that makes a difference not only to me but other people too
FMG... good to know she understands something of dissociative stuff. i did balk at what she said though. may be interesting to ask what the intention is behind saying what she said, which is appropriate for a dissociative person (client) to ask re: trust issues yadda yadda
We're having a hard time.
The youngster from ntl2 didn't come out in therapy today like we were hoping. But we gave her the drawing he made and some writing from some other from ntl2.
We're worried about stuff thats going on inside. The stuff in the drawing is upsetting some of us and we're worried and want to protect them.
We also feel sick (big trigger)
Thanks Katrica,
We hope so too.
Do you know why your little boy inside is so scared of the rest?
We sometimes feel the same, we wanna talk in our own voices and say exactly what we want, but it comes out crazily and jumbled mix of words and in all different pitches. Gives us a headache usually.
Chris, have you seen you therapist since she made that comment? Did you ask what she meant by it?
How is everyone?
How are things inside for all you guys?
seeing psychologist on monday, post 6 sessions of assessments
i'm guessing they will offer me something but what freaks me is whether they actually believe i'm DID and that's not been answered yet (and its not the same one that deflected the question :( )
constantly ill at the mo. hard to get out and do anywhere near normal (for me)
wishing you all peace. thank you bb for asking. i'm not such in a good place to respond to things - brain won't 'go there' just now i'm sorry
Katrica, could you send someone in to find him and bring him somewhere more safe and secure?
Or is he hidden/there for a reason?
Quote:
And I feel something new. Unlike the rest, this feels positive and fought the others back.
Do you mean that someone/some part fought the others back? We didn't follow :S sorry. Our brain is dodgy today.
I'm glad when we post it makes you feel comfortable.
Chris, how do you feel having all the assesments over? It must be a relief, apart from the whole waiting for the assessment.
What rests on them deciding whether they believe about the DID?
What kind of ill? Do you think its cold or flu or something? Or a physchological thing?
We've got another appointment with our T tommorow and we're anxious about how she will react to the picture..... We are so afraid of being invalidated or disbelieved.
Thats great to hear about KJ, im glad someone has a positive influence on you and is looking out for the little guy.
Don't worry, our mind works weird as well :D
We've got 2 layers/networks we aren't close with and communication is really tough. But as usual, we are working on it.
Do you journal as a way to communicate with parts? We do it alot. We used to do it on paper, but some of the younger ones have trouble with it and it takes a while, so we do it on the computer and can be really helpful. What do you think?
We saw T today, she mentioned the picture and writing, though mostly I (ash/frontman) was not quite strong enough to manage it. I hate that i don't know what she is thinking.
When i feel emotions that i know aren't mine, (does that make sense) it sounds a bit like what you said:
Quote:
who is who causing mental feelings over me
We call it 'leak through' emotions. I've been getting it alot really, its driving me and my girlfriend insane. It's impossible to explain to her. She doesn't understand how i can be feeling such a strong emotion and not know why. And when she can grasp it, it frustrates her no end.
Sorry to hear about the braces, and weird, our eye has been stinging like crazy today as well.
Do you know whats causing the overwhelming sadness? It sounds really debilitating. Is it your sadness, a general sadness or someone else?
WE hope it abates or gets easier soon.
Awesome about having friends over, we hope it goes/went well (not sure about time zones) sorry.
With Kat, can she communicate her rage in a more healthy way, like throwing paint at a canvas? Ripping up phone books or writing violent stories? Sometimes our parts just need a healthier outlet. But it can be really hard for some parts to accept those strategies.
Also, do you know what Kat holds, or what her role(s) is/are?
I (ash/frontman) journal heaps, on my own and quite often when i do i get company. I'm glad of it. I do heaps of writing anyway, from journalling, to forums and novel writing.
We suggest you give it a try (if you feel comfortable doing it) . Our youngsters love colouring books or coloured paper with crayons/textas or pencils. Us older ones use the computer or our graphics folio.
Art journalling is good too.
And no problem about talking to you, we think you are really cool
lb
Chris, how do you feel having all the assesments over? It must be a relief, apart from the whole waiting for the assessment.
What rests on them deciding whether they believe about the DID?
What kind of ill? Do you think its cold or flu or something? Or a physchological thing?
thank you BB for asking. it feels scary that the assessments are over and now comes the decisions based on their views. if they say the system doesn't exist/that DID doesnt exist, i feel them being able to get the fundamentals of what its like will be completely missed, and any subsequent support will merely pathologise/construct what i say into the jargon and understandings of theories that aren't appropriate
illness is i think real bugs and psychosomatic, and some of the symptoms i think are not mine but of others (head stuff)
not really up to much just now. just about focusing but thinking of you all. not just saying that. i have a heart connection with people here
Katrica, it could be a good idea to look into Kat and the others' roles. It will most likely help you understand much better why they behave the way they do and perhaps help you to communicate effectively and manage the behaviours.....?
By the way, how did it go with your friend staying over?
Chris, it seems alot hangs on their decision treatment-wise, if this doesn't work out the way you hope, do you have other options?
Sorry about the sick, we hope it pisses off soon.
We're chilling in our room. Ash's girlfriend is asleep, so we have to be quiet, don't want to wake her, she sleeps like an angel....
We feel a really strong connection to you guys here as well.... We wanna thank you all for being so supportive and... awesome.
Did you end up getting in deep **** with your friends?
Could you give that friend some info on DID? We have a few cool links etc. Well, not cool.... informative and helpful.
Why don't you think you can let her? Whats stopping you?
Can you describe the hurt? What's it like? You've mentioned it a few times and we don't really understand what you mean.
We feel bleurgh today.
Went shopping, too many people, stupid consumerism.
I(Ash) woke up exhausted today at 11:30 when my girlfriend arrived here. She asked who was drawing last night and i looked at her funny. Then i saw pencils all over my floor and a colouring book. Though it must've been just some youngsters, but there was a (quite impressive) japanese style picture also.... Hm...
We have T tommorow for the last time before the week?2weeks? off. Thats either 2 or 4 sessions. We feel sick... argh.....
Hope I'm not barging in and disrupting anything...
We've gone through a bad patch lately, a loss of trust, emotional upheaval, etc. The 'main' one of us, Lola, is getting angry at it and I'm afraid of letting her out to use our journal incase she starts hurting me again. Or talking...
*safe hugs to all*
random question - do you call yourselves 'we' a lot? I say 'we' if I'm switchy or they're very near, if that makes sense.
What emotion has hurt you? From the nightmares? That's okay, it helps to know it's not just us that struggles like that.
Lola doesn't like trusting people anyway, doesn't like me trusting people, etc. so this has freaked her out and we don't see the pyschologist until the middle of January now.
Megan won't let me write in her f***ing journal because she thinks I'm a bitch, so I thought I'd write in here, because I need to have my say too. Megan doesn't get to have the final say. I'm in this f***ing body too.
