I have recently been diagnosed with BPD. Finally docs know whats wrong with me and it explains a lot. It explains why i have been quite reckless with both and women, it explains why I feel empty and my moods are constantly up and down and why I am constantly in that black and white thinking and it definitely explains why I tried to hurt myself a couple of months ago.
Thanks for the hugs. I'm wiped out with tiredness today but at least I don't have the energy to self harm. So I'm not too bad. I also had some good news about the DBT that I've been on the waiting list. I should be starting with a DBT therapist soon for some sessions to see if I'm ready for the actual DBT programme. I was so worried that they wouldn't take me on so I'm glad I've got this chance and I really want to make the most of it.
Mark, I'm here for you if you want to talk. Sorry you're struggling.
Kat, how are you today?
Liddy, I hope you're ok today - and you really deserve a break from all your struggles.
Hi depressedcharlie, it often helps to get a diagnosis and to realise that there's a reason behind your moods, thoughts, emotions and behaviours. Have you been offered any treatment?
I naturally feel down a lot of time it's like I have lost my confidence in life an I don't care about things anymore I feel have to keep punishing myself on a daily basis and I hate my self even more for being a failure every rejection I get for jobs, courses or deadends just makes me feel worse mentally and emotionally
Have you ever confused a dream with life? Or stolen something when you have the cash? Have you ever been blue? Or thought your train moving while sitting still? Maybe I was just crazy. Maybe it was the 60's. Or maybe I was just a girl... interrupted.
I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside. I tried groups, didn't work out just made my depression a lot worse.
I'm starting to think why I am still here all the time and really I hate it so much
Have you ever confused a dream with life? Or stolen something when you have the cash? Have you ever been blue? Or thought your train moving while sitting still? Maybe I was just crazy. Maybe it was the 60's. Or maybe I was just a girl... interrupted.
I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside. I tried groups, didn't work out just made my depression a lot worse.
So I'm rubbish at keeping up with this. but i needed to tell someone, I'm craving having a drink. I havent had one in 3 years because i know it messes with my head. But I'm really tempted today.
A tyrant spell has bound me And I cannot, cannot go
-
Emily Bronte
Thank you squirrel, I wish my problems would go away - they have been there 19 years and the longer something goes on the harder it is to break free from.
GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE
THE COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN
AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE
And then the next minute im with the dog and I'm happy so my moods are quite erractic
Have you ever confused a dream with life? Or stolen something when you have the cash? Have you ever been blue? Or thought your train moving while sitting still? Maybe I was just crazy. Maybe it was the 60's. Or maybe I was just a girl... interrupted.
I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside. I tried groups, didn't work out just made my depression a lot worse.
