i can't seem to stop thinking about cutting i just want to bleed out i dont want to keep feeling so damn depressed and miseryable my whole life i just dont see the point of living
"Hello I'm The Doctor basicly run"- The Doctor
"It's a fez, i wear a fez now, fez's are cool"- The Doctor
""Blood. Sometimes it sets my teeth on edge, other times it helps me control the chaos."- Dexter Morgan (Dexter)
Location: In a glass vial in the pocket of a beautiful mind.
I am currently:
fml
rhap·so·dy - an ecstatic expression of feeling or enthusiasm. ♫
"Sacrifice is the most you can love someone." ♥
“Love was at best an excuse for stupidity, at worst a destructive, dangerous emotion that drove men to acts of annihilation which defied logic. It was a twisted, insidious sentiment used to justify everything from spoiling a child to destroying entire civilizations.”
This is the... fourth (?) day in a row I feel like this... Maybe that's a sign. Maybe not. I don't know. I'm too scared to do anything about it though. *Hugs to all of you*
You know you're in a really bad place when you had a great weekend yet inexplicably wake up on a Monday feeling terrible. I don't feel like doing anything. Nothing excites me. I really just wish I could disappear.
I still haven't started therapy. I don't know why I keep putting it off. Maybe I just feel like I'm putting too much pressure on one person to "fix" me. Maybe I'm afraid it won't help or that I'm expecting too much from it. Maybe I'm afraid of what will actually be discovered. Honestly, what I really feel is that regardless of whatever help I receive, at some point in life I'm going to end up right back where I am right now. I won't know where, when, why, or how but I know at some other point I'll be right back to feeling this way. There is no escape as long as I stay alive. I guess I just have to decide if life is worth living even knowing that depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts can come sneaking up on me at any time. That's what this year is for.
I don't know...I just...I just feel so alone and helpless.
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin’ with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken
*leaves hugs for all*
I'm sorry I don't have words at the moment, but I'm always just a PM away - for any of you - if you need someone to talk to <3
x Katie x
Feeling suicidal again. It's like a thought that never leaves my mind.
Nothing gets better. It looks like my life will be a long list of failures. I can't even stand to be in a crowd. Where's the point in continuing to live when you're scared to get your garbages ? Where's the point in living when you have no social skills ? When, no matter how hard you try, you end up loosing everything you had gained ?
I'm sorry, this post is a bit of a ramble, but it's a fairly good account of how I'm feeling right now. Crashing down.
-- English is not my mother-tongue, so I apologize for any spelling/grammar mistake --
What if someone does not want to die, but they don't care if they do? That's the way I feel.
I am a believer in an afterlife. Not a religious afterlife. An afterlife where your soul travels. There's been so many confirmations of this through Near Death Experiences. This has led me cut not do die, but to not care if I move into that other life.
But I don't think this is classed as suicide. Maybe closely related.
I feel this earth is a waste land. It's full of people who function around money. The whole world is based around profits and being the richest person alive. What happened to good old enjoying life?
There is no escaping the lifestyles we are forced into. As the years have moved on the world moves closer towards being dominated by a piece of paper that has no value.
I hate this, but I don't mind remaining here for another 40 years. But, if I depart early, that's fine also. Just means my spirit is free that little bit quicker.
I hope that makes sense.
Anyway, I've cut today, my arms are sore. Probably need stitches but can't deal with A&E staff looking at me like I'm an idiot asking stupid questions.
It's a dangerous place to be. WHen I attempted suicide that's exactly how I felt. I didn't want to die but didn't care if I did. I think it's still a state of depression, and dangerous.
Niniane hugs. Please fight the thoughts. You are a wonderful person and I think you have social skills... you've always been really nice to me. Please take care. Hugs
They have just found the body of a friend of mine. He disappeared in October.
He was 26.
Suicide devastates lives.
Please get help if you are felling in any way suicidal.
You don't have to go through it alone.
Stay safe all xx
Here's the day you hoped would never come,
Don't feed me violins, just run with me
through rows of speeding cars.
21 on the run, on the run, on the run
From myself, from myself and everyone
I better leave the light on
The darkness, The sweetness, The sadness, The weakness,
O, I need this
Hi, I'm Roli Take Care, Stay Safe, Shout if you need anything
Last edited by out of ashes : 26-01-2012 at 10:39 PM.
I don't know where to go
I don't know what to be
I don't know how to change from being me
I don't know what to say
Maybe another day
I'll stop getting lost and find my way, home
All I know is gone......
Take Care, Stay Safe, Shout if you need anything
