i'm SO sorry that i've not updated.
i've got almost a week of work from this monday and i'll try get some chapters done. again i'm sorry and thank you so much for your patience while i've been trying to sort my stuff out...x
**If You Love Someone Or Something Enough, Set Them Free.**
i suck!! sorry!
really busy this month, its silly. but i am trying my best to find the time to try get some writing/updates done. really sorry guys, (that is, if people are still interested in it), but i will be trying harder, promise. x
**If You Love Someone Or Something Enough, Set Them Free.**
ive just started reading this. its amazing!!
Will read the rest tomorrow!
x
"People have abused you lots in the past? Why do you then abuse yourself more?" - Quote
Sometimes I feel like I'm alone, Sometimes I feel like I'm not that strong, Sometimes I feel nothing at all, Sometimes I feel vulnerable, Sometimes I feel a little fragile
I am sooooooooooo still interested!! You cant leave it there!!!
I finished reading this today....couldnt sleep and was reading a book and this story came back into my head. Its amazing!! I <3 it!!
More please!?!? x
"People have abused you lots in the past? Why do you then abuse yourself more?" - Quote
Sometimes I feel like I'm alone, Sometimes I feel like I'm not that strong, Sometimes I feel nothing at all, Sometimes I feel vulnerable, Sometimes I feel a little fragile
Awww i'm glad you like it and theres people still interested!
I am going to try my best to sit down and write over the next couple of days and get some chapters done. I will not leave it how it is, i feel bad for doing so for as long as i have and know if i dont know then i wont for a while cus of stuff happening in february. but i definatly am going to try
back soon x
**If You Love Someone Or Something Enough, Set Them Free.**
"People have abused you lots in the past? Why do you then abuse yourself more?" - Quote
Sometimes I feel like I'm alone, Sometimes I feel like I'm not that strong, Sometimes I feel nothing at all, Sometimes I feel vulnerable, Sometimes I feel a little fragile
Hey. I'm really sorry ive not updated again. I'm wanting to get this next month out the way then things will be a little calmer for me, theres so much i'm doing and so little time to do it in! I will be bringing this story back... it will just more than likely have to wait until march.. sorry about that. Thanks for the support still x
**If You Love Someone Or Something Enough, Set Them Free.**
Sitting and staring at the wall, it feels like weeks have gone by when realistically its only been a day or two. Each person that walks up to me I think is Hayley with news but i always end up dissapointed when its another patient.
There have been some new people join us in the hospital, you can tell why they are here, all but one of them anyway. Theres a boy here that looks positively sane, is that even the right word?
We haven't spoke yet. The furthest we have got is a glance in eachothers direction, i thought i saw a small smile on his face but i cannot be sure. He's a handsome person, he kind of reminds me of Luke in a way, with his brown soft looking hair and his physique, it looks like he has a nice body, but thats only a view i've got from the back, i've not had a proper look from the front yet.
Drifting off into thought i think about the night when Luke and I moved into our flat. Our flat. It seems so strange saying that now, our flat. I wonder if anyone else would be living there now, perhaps Luke is back there? We were so excited to be away from everything and everyone, in our own place which we could decorate how we wanted, we could walk around naked if we wished. Oh we were happy then, at least I know I was and i'm sure the smile on Lukes face told me that he was too. He had a beautiful smile, it made his dimples show up. That was the first day i realised he had dimples, I didn't let him forget it since then. I wonder if he ever smiles and remembers me pointing them out and teasing him because of them. I always knew it wound him up, I guess that made it more fun.
"Hello" A deep voice said interrupting my thought and breaking the smile from my face "Sorry, you looked really deep in thought, shall i leave and let you get back to your thinking?" Its the new boy, he is handsome looking close up, his eyes are bright blue, sparking bright blue and he has a friendly smile, one that stretches across his face and one that is so inviting.
'No, no its ok, take a seat' I say back, shifting accross the bench a little and tapping the hard wood
"I'm Micheal, but call me Mike" He said, putting his hand out as he sat down
'I'm Laura, but call me Laura' I say back and he laughs
"I came here yesterday so i'm kind of new to all of this" Mike offers me a cigarette and i shake my head
'No thanks... yeah, its a little daunting once you get here but you'll soon get used to it. What are you here for? You look normal... I mean well, for this place anyway' I say to him, watching as he guards the cigarette away from the wind and lights it with a match, of which the nurse that is stood next to him takes away again.
"I thought the same for you, looking normal. Looking at some of these people around here I don't suppose thats too hard" Mike says and I laugh "Sorry, that sounds really mean.. I didn't mean it like that"
'I wouldn't worry... you'd be right anyway even if you didn't mean it like that' I smile at him and he smiles back
"What are you here for?" Mike asks me
'Hey, I asked first!' I say back to him and watch as he takes a last long drag of his cigarette, i don't think i have ever seen someone smoke so fast before.
"Suicide attempt that went wrong, you could say. I was terribly drunk and pissed off about finding out my dad had been having an affair with this bint that lives across the street and i thought it would be a good idea to get my own back on him, make him pay and think twice about leaving me and my sisters if i took an overdose but then again... a stomach pump later, many many meetings with the "shrink" team up at the hospital i'm here after them telling me i'm an alcoholic, dependant on drugs and suicidal i'm starting to think maybe it wasn't a good idea afterall" I stare at him for a second then shake my head
'Wow, thats tough. I mean your dad having an affair but taking an overdose to get your own back?' I say to him and he nods
"Crazy, yeah. Like I said I was drunk, people do stupid things when they are drunk" I look at him and nod but can't help thinking theres something that he's not telling me but decide not to push it "...your turn" He says looking at me smiling again. His smile is nice to see but theres no dimples like Luke.
'Where would you like me to start?' We both turn and watch a couple of the patients walk past and see they are both staring at Mike. Mike turns to look at me with a confused look on his face and I shake my head at him as a sign not to ask
"Start at the start,thats always a good place" Mike says to me
'I guess in a way its pretty heavy stuff to be finding out the first time your meeting someone... I was made to come here by my parents. A long story short is my mum tried to kill herself, of which followed after me and her had a big argument and she went slightly crazy.. i say slightly, she went crazy, completely crazy' I pause as Mike calls over a nurse to get a match for another cigarette and watch as she walks away again
'when she got out of hospital my family dissapeared, my parents and my younger brother and sister....they basically left me to fend for myself. They eventually tried to get me to go and live with them by selling up the house and the only way i could escape all the stuff they had put me through, mentally and sometimes physically was to run away. So i did that, ran away with my boyfriend.. ex? boyfriend... they caught up with us, my older brother trapped me into meeting him where my boyfriend got arrested and I got taken away here. And basically after trying to do something to myself, ended up in hospital where i tried telling people all they had put me through but no one believed me because of the stories my parents had fed them and they decided to send me here to 'work out' what my boyfriend did to me... which he didnt DO anything, he saved me from them and he would never do anything to hurt me, but i guess they are covering their backs' I stop and take a big breathe and look at Mike whos staring at me opened mouthed
'well i did say it was a bit heavy' i say and laugh
"What happened with your parents in the past?" he asks me
'they just never really grasped the whole parenthood thing. my mums always been a bit... unhinged and that kind of played a big part in it. My dads a little better, but mistreated me at various points while i was growing up and i was basically their slave' I shrug my shoulders and start fiddling with a string thats hanging from my sleeve
"What happened with your boyfriend... or ex boyfriend, you said both" Mike asks me and i don't answer straight away "I'm sorry, i mean if you don't want to talk about it then thats ok too"
'Its ok, I guess its all stuff you will find out about in group therapy anyway' i say to him 'i don't know whats happened with him, his name is Luke. They arrested him for kidnap as far as i'm aware, i've not heard from him or spoke to him since i've been in here so for all i know he could be banged up somewhere. i've got someone looking into it for me...' i tell him and the bell goes
"what the....." Mike says, jumping slightly which makes me laugh
'no one told you about the bell?' i say to him and he shakes his head
"i think i might of just had a heart attack" he says, putting his hand to his chest
'it means dinner and after dinner its meds, if you take any' i say standing up 'and after meds its 'quiet time' then sleep time. what room number are you?' i ask him as we start walking accross the gardens into the building to walk up to the canteen
"I'm in 4D" he tells me and I nod
'thats next door to me' i say to him and he smiles broadly
"its a bit... weird, how its mixed sexes"
'they changed that recently, more and more males have been joining and instead of being sexist they have decided to do it in age groups instead of males and females, it works quite well actually, they have alot of regulations though, for obvious reasons' i pass him a plate and we go up to the food and decide what we want.
After dinner we both go and find a quiet corner in the relax room and talk about our lives, boyfriends girlfriends and the inbetween. With each passing minute i get more and more interested in his story about his life and where he's from and each time he touches me i get a little flutter in my tummy reminding me of what i had with Luke and although i miss Luke, i can tell me and Mike are going to get on fine. And you know, he really is quite good looking!
**If You Love Someone Or Something Enough, Set Them Free.**
Eeeeek!! Yay for more!!
Thanks hun....as amazing as ever. xxx
"People have abused you lots in the past? Why do you then abuse yourself more?" - Quote
Sometimes I feel like I'm alone, Sometimes I feel like I'm not that strong, Sometimes I feel nothing at all, Sometimes I feel vulnerable, Sometimes I feel a little fragile
