Went really well at the supported accommodation place, just need to wait to see if I get a place and if so how quickly. Yeah back at the day hospital tomorrow and I'm seeing my cpn as well. I'm going to try and get some sleep and not od. I actually have less busy week than recently but the stuff I do have on is all really heavy. I don't know how I'm going to cope with it all.
That is really positive to hear, I hope you get a place there soon. It sounds like it could really help you.
You can get through tonight safely. Think what distraction and techniques usually help keep you safe. I hope all goes well at the day hospital and seeing your cpn.
'Cause I'll always remember you the same.
Oh eyes like wild flowers within demons of change ♥
Good luck with getting a place at the accommodated housing, and getting in there quickly.
I hope you managed to get some rest and made it through last night safely. How are you feeling today?
I hope it goes well at the day hospital and with your CPN.
x x x
♥It's the ups and downs of living life this way. Promise me you'll never go away. Just stay with me through one more night because it's always darkest before the light and now I promise you I'll never turn away. I won't let you give us one less heart to break...♥
My cpn agrees that the supported accommodation would be good so I think I'm probably gona be offered a place :) I know they wanted to speak to my cpn before deciding so now he agrees I don't see why I won't be offered a place, and hopefully soon.
I'm a bit all over the place and really really tired. Very nervous about this week, not sure how I'm going to cope without overdosing. Especially as I'll have three free days once the funeral and my dermatology appointments are over and free time normally means I've got 'time' to overdose.
That sounds positive and I'm glad he agrees with you.
Could you plan something nice for those days to try to distract you from the thoughts of ODing?
x x x
♥It's the ups and downs of living life this way. Promise me you'll never go away. Just stay with me through one more night because it's always darkest before the light and now I promise you I'll never turn away. I won't let you give us one less heart to break...♥
I'll still have the day hospital as far as I know so that's good and I'll have uni work to do which could keep me distracted. Hopefully I won't say fuck it to both and just overdose anyway. At the moment the idea of oding makes me feel a bit ill so so far so good.
I'm considering taking more time out of uni because I've got so much going on but not sure if it's what I want or not. I'm not sure what would happen with fees as well. I've emailed people but I'm not getting a straight answer.
Katie, i can't imagine what you're going through. You're still here, strong and fighting, you've had some bad pasts, so have we. The people that have bad pasts end up creating the best futures. I know its all just crap thrown at us all day, but you got to keep your head up high and stop OD. I really hope the hospital helps you and that you recover nicely. Here if you need help. ;)
15 | Depressed | Loves meeting people | Sometimes antisocial...
I'm freaking out about my Eczema. It's really really bad. I have a dermatology appointment on Thursday, if it stays this bad theres no doubt they will want me in hospital. It's killing me, stingy all over. I can't take it.
Not being as stressed (hahaha). Creams and meds. Not scratching if I can help it. I've had a bath (which was really painful) and put creams on thoroughly. Still hurting a lot. Will hopefully get meds to help on Thursday. Probably should have got some at my GP's today.
I hope the cream helps today. Are you able to see your GP before Thursday for the medication?
x x x
♥It's the ups and downs of living life this way. Promise me you'll never go away. Just stay with me through one more night because it's always darkest before the light and now I promise you I'll never turn away. I won't let you give us one less heart to break...♥
Seeing them on Thursday, after the funeral. Hopefully they won't want me in hospital and will have some treatment in mind. It's likely to be sunlight treatment which is going to hospital three times a week, a giant pain in the arse and a nightmare body image wise but I suppose it might be worthless.
I'm struggling again. I somehow got through the funeral and dermatology but everything's hit me now. I don't know who I'm kidding thinking I can cope with life like this. It's too much.
Well done for getting through the funeral, I know it must have been hard to do.
Do you still have support at the day hospital? Could you talk to someone about how badly things have hit you?
x x x
♥It's the ups and downs of living life this way. Promise me you'll never go away. Just stay with me through one more night because it's always darkest before the light and now I promise you I'll never turn away. I won't let you give us one less heart to break...♥
Yeah I still have the day hospital until Wednesday. And I have another stay at the supported living place for a week from Monday, so that should help too. Everything is up in the air with housing and uni which is stressing me out. I think I'm going to be taking time out of uni but until it's been confirmed (which won't be for another week at least) I am still meant to be working but I can't concentrate enough to get anything done. My eczema is still bad, my eating is messy, I'm just generally overwhelmed.
I'm glad you still have the day hospital. Is there someone there you can talk to about everything?
I hope the stay with supported housing helps.
It sounds like things with housing and University are stressful. Can you chase up things with Uni at all? Perhaps doing the work in really small chunks would help? With a break in between.
Did the doctor at your appointment about the eczema suggest anything to help? Hopefully if you get the housing sorted and take some time off Uni it'd help to relax you a little more and the eczema will seem a little better.
x x x
♥It's the ups and downs of living life this way. Promise me you'll never go away. Just stay with me through one more night because it's always darkest before the light and now I promise you I'll never turn away. I won't let you give us one less heart to break...♥
Thanks for the reply. Yeah I've been talking to them. Dermatology went well, they said I could start a new medication for it. It's actually a chemotherapy drug but used at lower doses for eczema. Not sure when it's actually starting. In terms of uni I have to have a meeting with them to confirm leaving but I want my cpn to come and he's off next week so it's gona be at least a week before I can have this meeting and I'm technically meant to be working until then, but I can't concentrate for shit.
It's sort of hit me that my grandfather has actually died. I was fine before but now it's real. It's hard. I miss him. I wish I had told him how much he meant to me before he died. By the time I came to actually writing something it was too late.
I'm glad you're talking to them - are the supportive?
It's good dermatology went well, I hope the new medication helps. Could you chase them up and ask when you're starting it?
Ah, I see. Well I hope he's able to come with you when he's back. Can you explain to Uni why you can't work right now? At least keeping them up to date until the meeting.
I'm sorry everything has hit you at once. It can take a while for a loss like that to sink in. I'm sure he knew you loved him very much. I know it's hard when you feel like you were too late to explain things - but he'd have known how you care.
Is there anything you can do to try to relax yourself.
x x x
♥It's the ups and downs of living life this way. Promise me you'll never go away. Just stay with me through one more night because it's always darkest before the light and now I promise you I'll never turn away. I won't let you give us one less heart to break...♥
