Who are you hurting? You are doing it again lady, steering the conversation away from moving out. I'll back off, sorry. I'm probably pushing it too much. I just care that's all. Three years is a long time to watch you struggle in that house, that's all. Love you lots with jellytots.
I think sometimes it becomes normal to live with a situation, even if the situation is horrible it just becomes standard. But maybe something will happen to make you think 'that's it enough is enough' maybe a shift in mental attitude or maybe you might feel strong enough to decide that moving out is for the best. I know I've said this before but I think being there, living there, perpetuates the situation you're in and there'll be no end to it.
I had a drastic shift in my situation to bring the abuse I was experiencing to an end, I think sometimes a big change (like moving out) is needed.
Could you imagine possibly, coming in after a day at work, closing your front door, locking it and knowing there would be no one coming in to hurt you, no one in your home who would abuse you. Also just simple things like cooking what you want, watching what you want on tv, and knowing that it's just your place. Your food in the cupboards, your crockery in the kitchen, your bed, your bathroom, your place and no one else's, you pay the bills it's yours. Wouldn't like feel like a freeing experience? I mean I know it's scary, and there would be steps to take to get your own place and settle in and everything but wouldn't the end of the daily abuse feel freeing for you? With the right support you can do this, when you're ready to.
"A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell 'em for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I'm a goner
And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'
Funny when you're dead how people start listenin'"
"A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell 'em for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I'm a goner
And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'
Funny when you're dead how people start listenin'"
feel so ****
work so ****
children noticed my harming on arm
felt like ****
im useless tho
i cant let it heal
im as selfharmer
its what i am
i need to hurt
its what im for
"A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell 'em for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I'm a goner
And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'
Funny when you're dead how people start listenin'"
"A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell 'em for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I'm a goner
And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'
Funny when you're dead how people start listenin'"
Jo, You know that you shouldn't have it to yourself about the mean things to do..You are not selfish or any kinds of mean words on your yourself..
Can you try to be nice to yourself and just be yourself? says like, "I'm beautiful or pretty girl" That's the nicest thing to say about yourself..No one can judge on you ever Jo!..You are a amazing, strong woman I ever known that you makes it through this and I'm serious, You came out on here and ask for support and guess what? You really did it! so proud of you because you ask for help on RYL and look at this way, All the people at RYL who does cares and loves you so much, They're very friendly, helpful and willing to listen of your rants & vents it all you wants to but one thing doesn't seems right because you keep saying to yourself about the mean things..Jo, Listen to yourself. You got to be a beautiful woman who came out strongest years that you got through all of this. Amazing woman that all I can says.
i told my boss i couldnt cope today
i just said i needed to tell her
can see them saying to me i should leave or not extending my contract which would make me slip further
i just feel such a waste of space
"A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell 'em for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I'm a goner
And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'
Funny when you're dead how people start listenin'"
But you are amazing and strong woman that you came through all of this Jo..Really from bottom of my heart.
Don't be wasting on your space Jo, is there anything you can tell her about it? Why not telling her how you are feeling and everything so they will straighting this out sooner or later on. You really needs to cope a little bit of your job but I know it's stressful for you but maybe you could take a day off or a couple of days to take a breaks. Will that help much?
"A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell 'em for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I'm a goner
And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'
Funny when you're dead how people start listenin'"
"A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell 'em for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I'm a goner
And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'
Funny when you're dead how people start listenin'"
"A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell 'em for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I'm a goner
And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'
Funny when you're dead how people start listenin'"
i cant
got mum telling me she wants to kill herself and expecting me to have the answers and moaning at me that im not giving her enough sympathy
im feling edgy around dad
can feel flashbacks and things
im sorry
"A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell 'em for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I'm a goner
And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'
Funny when you're dead how people start listenin'"
right...well...i dunno hun. obviously dont want anyone to kill themself. but neither should your mum put the responsibility on you, in the end its her choice, and as shes saying she wants to instead of shes going to, she might just be wanting attention n be told nice things. obviously you cant have the answers. not to mention all the bad stuff shes done to you.
take a little time for you, even if its just right before you go to sleep, to wind down n relax. maybe a hot shower or jus doin something quietly in your room.
Every day the world is made a chance to change but i feel the same.
And I wonder why would i wait till i die to come alive?"
All alone the way she feels
Left alone to deal with all the pain-drenched sorrow relief
Maybe some time off from work might help? I mean sometimes when we're stressed and run down we aren't functioning or performing as well as we can then a break can help.
