Yesterday I OD'd.... Not to die just to make everything stop for a while. Problem is there's nothing stopping me from doing it again, and taking more, doing it properly this time. Crisis totally made me feel worse yesterday by saying I call too often so I give up on them, if no one else cares, why should i? I can't be responsible for keeping myself safe.
How did life get to this point.
"I may be laying in the gutter but I'm staring up at the stars"
It was a mix of Cymbalta, wellbutrin, aleeve, and plaquenil that I took. I can't do anything right now cuz I'm at work and I can't have the cops show up here with the kids here. I'll try to talk to somebody again before I make my choice but Im not making any guarantees.
Is there some meaning to this life?What purpose lies behind the strife?
Whence do we come, where are we bound? These cold questions echo and resound through each day, each lonely night.
We long to find the splendid light that will cast a revelatory beam
upon the meaning of the human dream.
If you ever need anything I am only a message away
muchlove - Sorry things got so much for you yesterday and that crisis said that. It's wrong of them. Can you call a care worker/CPN or anything? I care. We all care. People always care.
freakangel - Please, try to talk to someone - we're not asking for guarantees; just to try :)
muchlove- Oh honey. I'm sorry that things got to that point yesterday. Have you been checked out? OD's can be dangerous, even if not immediately fatal.
I'm sorry crisis made you feel that way, but to be honest it doesn't surprise me. They have a certain reputation. Please don't stop calling because one person said that. You will get someone different. Its good that you cll. Its what they are there for. I ask myself that Q a lot. How did life get like this. Haven't found the answer yet. Hugs tightly.
freakangel- Please think about getting checked out hun. That was quite a cocktail you took hun. Trying is the only thing we can ask of you honey. That and to please try to reconsider. Your husband and father would be utterly devastated hun. They really would. x
*Sneaks up to Katie, stealth hugs, sneaks away*
Last edited by getting_by : 11-01-2012 at 08:20 PM.
Reason: Stealth Sneaking
Here's the day you hoped would never come,
Don't feed me violins, just run with me
through rows of speeding cars.
21 on the run, on the run, on the run
From myself, from myself and everyone
I better leave the light on
The darkness, The sweetness, The sadness, The weakness,
O, I need this
Hi, I'm Roli Take Care, Stay Safe, Shout if you need anything
A friend took me to a&e yesterday. I just can't trust them now, trusting people is really hard anyway but I feel like someone's just killed off that last bit of hope. Crisis are all I have at the mo. No support worker or cpn. Thanks for your lovely comments though
"I may be laying in the gutter but I'm staring up at the stars"
Muchlove I hope you can find someone to talk to soon. I'd offer but we seem to be in similar situations and I don't believe I'd be any help. Sorry you feel so bad.
Is there some meaning to this life?What purpose lies behind the strife?
Whence do we come, where are we bound? These cold questions echo and resound through each day, each lonely night.
We long to find the splendid light that will cast a revelatory beam
upon the meaning of the human dream.
If you ever need anything I am only a message away
Freakangel - I really think the only reason your husband would be upset is because he's so scared for you he doesn't know how to handle it. Please reconsider your plan. <3
muchlove, I can't believe crisis said that to you. I'm appalled. I'm sorry it got so bad that you had to do that. Hugs.
Thank you guys for your kind words. I know in my heart that you're right but I'm just so overwhelmed and I'm so scared. I'm on the verge of tears all the time. I don't want anything to do with anyone, but at the same time I want to be with people. It makes no sense. I'm supposed to be starting classes in 2 weeks and I don't even care enough to get everything taken care of. I don't know what to do. I just can't live like this anymore. There's nothing anyone can do to fix it. My life circumstances are beyond anyone's control. There is nothing that can be done to get rid of the pain, it's just going to be there forever. God, I can't stand it.
~ Megan
"Even on my weakest days, I get a little bit stronger."
I'm trying to take care and consider things even though it's hard. I understand about my husband but he deserves so much better then me and my damaged goods. I love him with all my heart but he deserves more then I can give him. I don't think he'd every walk away from me unless I cheated or something so it seems to make it easier if I go. It would take him a lil to get over it but then he could find someone new and better without all the crap. I dunno :(
Is there some meaning to this life?What purpose lies behind the strife?
Whence do we come, where are we bound? These cold questions echo and resound through each day, each lonely night.
We long to find the splendid light that will cast a revelatory beam
upon the meaning of the human dream.
If you ever need anything I am only a message away
I'm just not sure how I'm meant to do this. The pain. The anger. The fear. It's too much and nothing's helping. None of it takes it all back. None of it stops any of it being real.
Katie- Its not too late sweetie. You can beat this. You can regain your life. You might not think you can do this hun, but you can. I know you can. Your incredibly strong. I'm sorry things are so hard. I really wish I could help. xx
Please stay strong all. Its not time to throw in the towel. There's too much living to be done.
'If your not busy being born, your busy dying.' Try being busy living as best you can. Look to the future. Hope for something better. Hold onto those things that make like bearable, the things that keep you hanging on. xx
Here's the day you hoped would never come,
Don't feed me violins, just run with me
through rows of speeding cars.
21 on the run, on the run, on the run
From myself, from myself and everyone
I better leave the light on
The darkness, The sweetness, The sadness, The weakness,
O, I need this
Hi, I'm Roli Take Care, Stay Safe, Shout if you need anything
At the hospital now, my husband convinced me to come. Waiting for them to take everything away and lock me up. they haven't taken my phone yet. I don't want to go to the mental inpatient facility ><;; I don't want to deal with all this crap :(
Is there some meaning to this life?What purpose lies behind the strife?
Whence do we come, where are we bound? These cold questions echo and resound through each day, each lonely night.
We long to find the splendid light that will cast a revelatory beam
upon the meaning of the human dream.
If you ever need anything I am only a message away
Just a quick update they are admitting me overnight to the regular hospital because it was a "lethal" combination I took. If I behave hopefully they don't send me to the mental ward later *crosses fingers*
Is there some meaning to this life?What purpose lies behind the strife?
Whence do we come, where are we bound? These cold questions echo and resound through each day, each lonely night.
We long to find the splendid light that will cast a revelatory beam
upon the meaning of the human dream.
If you ever need anything I am only a message away
Take Care, Stay Safe, Shout if you need anything
