If you are feeling suicidal, post here...

[out of ashes]

hmm sorry guys, hmm got a plan stuck in mind tonight, really want to go ahead with it. don't want to be alive any more. :(

[Mum24]

Out of ashes. Please please stay alive. I need you

Katie. Don't give up. Please

Roli squishes. Stay safe

I am supposed to take increased meds tomorrow. Don't know if I can do this. I'm not psychotic. I don't need them. I want to go off them. I shouldn't have made such a big deal of everything to the dr. That's why he's doing this to me. :( and my therapist played my phone message for him. Ugh.

[givemethismoment]

Out of Ashes, is there anyone you can talk to? I know it can eat you alive when you have a plan in mind.

Mum24, Katie, sending so much love to both of you. You can do it. <3

Just the idea that I'm going to live for another 60/65 years or so makes me want to jump off a bridge. I can't stand this anymore. I'll probably have a few really good years in there but is it honestly worth all the years of hell? I don't feel like it is.

[getting_by]

out of ashes- PLease hang in there hun. Tell someone about your plan, anyone. I find sometimes it helps to just get it out of, well, me. Just try. Whats the worst that could happen? Seems pretty desperate already, taking another chance at getting help doesnt seem so bad?! Hugs xx

Rachel- You can do this honey, I promise the meds will help. They might take the edge off a little. Remember me saying that sometimes our heads can get 'fuggy'... Thats all thats happening hun and the meds will just help things to be a little clearer. Thats all.
Its really good you told your Dr about whats going on hun, its the only way yu will get better. Well done.
How did it make you feel to head the message you left for your therapist hun? I know that reading back or hearing things when you were distressed can be hard to hear. HUgs you tight xx

givemethismoment- Oh hun, I know the prospect of living for a very long time is daunting, but please dont look at the very big picture. Take each day, appreciate the good things, fight the thoughts and try to take positive steps forward. I know its easier said than done, but please try, the only thing that looking long long term does is to make you feel desperate to not live it. But I'm sure things will change hun. So much will happen between now and then- good and bad- but it will come at different times and in different situations. All of it manageable if you take it a day at a time.
Don't lose hope for the future by imagining what it might be like. The future has its own plans and you never know what they might be. Hugs xx

Stay safe all and Katie... if your around. Please let me know your ok. Worried sick. xx

[Heaven Knows]

Roli - I'm okay...well, I'm alive. Took my Diazepam last night and just went to bed. Sorry you worried darling - no need to. I'm fine <3 How're you doing today?

x Katie x

[Mum24]

Roli, I didn't have to hear it. He had already listened to it. I was embarrassed.

Guess what? I slept! I slept through the night! (I took sleeping pill and it worked! Guess I shouldn't have been saving them up. Now if I want more I'll have to confess to the doctor. At least I have enough for a few more weeks

[Mum24]

Katie big squish!

[Heaven Knows]

Rachel - *hugs* Glad you slept honey. How're you feeling now?

[getting_by]

Katie- Bloody glad your alive hun. Don't you go telling me there was no need to be worried!
Glad you went to bed.

Rachel- I'm so glad you slept hun. Things seems a lil better after sleep, don't they?!
I'm sorry you were embarrassed hun. No need to be though darling, sometimes we do or say things that made complete sense at the time and then when we hear or read or remember them, they do appear a little less complete and a little more confuggled.
How are you doing today?

Hugs to all
xxxxxxx

[out of ashes]

thanks guys. getting by. I would get help, speak to my dr
if i thought that would help. I have been down this road before, and it
bit me in the ass. told my dr about myself harming, got seen by someone
that i told everthing to, and after some time. i told them that i was suicidal and had a plan and he turned his back on my, and said that's as far as I can take you. I have lost all faith. not going through that again. sorry

[Mum24]

Out of ashes that's terrible!! I'd fight for my rights. Give me their number.. I'll fight for your rights!

Roli and Katie big squish. Thinking about both of you and praying that you're ok and never give up!

I'm feeling somewhat better after sleeping. But I will take my new meds. I thought about it and it can't hurt to try right?

[out of ashes]

mum: thank you but its okay. so not worth it.
Givemethismoment: hmm yeah i got someone to speak to, been texting a helpline
and told them a lot of stuff, and also that im suicidal and have a plan. also people on here which helps.

[getting_by]

out of ashes- OK hun. To be honest- I completely understand. I don't blame you. I just really hope you can find something else that helps or something to hang onto. *Hugs*

Rachel- Thank you for your thoughts and prayers, but I really dont deserve either of them. I am glad you still have your faith, I admire that.
Glad your feeling a lil better after sleeping, well done for taking your meds. Thats right hun. Might as well try. Whats the worse that could happen?! xx

[Heaven Knows]

Rachel - Glad you're feeling better and that you're gonna take the new meds - you're right; it can't hurt :) <3

Taylor - I can understand why you've lost faith in the medical system. I hope something comes along for you soon; you deserve to feel better about all this <3

[freakangel]

I took an overdose this morning and nothing! I just want it to stop, I'm tired of failing everyone and everything.

[Heaven Knows]

freakangel - I'm sorry things have got so low for you. Do you have anyone you can talk to about it? Do you need to get checked out? Overdoses can cause damage which can't be felt/seen straight away <3
x Katie x

[freakangel]

My husbands pissed now won't talk to me or anything cuz the cops showed up cuz I talked to a crisis line. Luckily I wasn't there and the cops believed my hubby when he said I didn't do that I don't do shit like that. The cops dropped it and aren't trying to track me now. I only got about 20 pills down before my body wouldn't let me swallow anymore so I think I'll be ok on that but I don't really care. I think when I get off work I am going to go to the river and cut my wrists. I have nowhere to go now so what's the point.

[getting_by]

freakangel- Please please contact crisis again. Its not the answer sweetie. You need to get checked out for the OD and to keep you safe from yourself honey. Please. You need to get help sweetie. xx

[freakangel]

I just don't care anymore, I mean I do but I don't. My husband and father don't deserve the shit I put them thru, they'd be better off without me. I don't want to feel this way anymore and I don't want my family to go thru this again. I just need to disappear forever.

[Mum24]

Freakangel. What did you take? Some meds might make you more willing to hurt yourself. Please! Call crisis again and don't cut wrists. You need to get checked out.