*hugs* Do deserve it. Was gonna message but didn't want to bother you or annoy you >.<
Can keep it up Roli. In it together right? When think can't squeeze my hand *grabs hand* - I am here with you, both of you <3 Don't wanna lose either of you.
*hugs tight*
Never bother or annoy me. Like getting messages, I am just useless sometimes at repplayign etc. Best to not waste your time. Muh appreciated for the though thoufgh.
HUGGl~ES
Rachel- Yea there was damage. Lcuky to be alive. I think I used my get out of death free card that day. The Dr's were amazed. Dont try t hun. Dont let t get that far. I tred to reach out- it didnt work- but it might for you hun. Just try. Worth try. Like you said, wherether we like it or not- you always have the option. You dont always have the p[tion to reach out. xx
Here's the day you hoped would never come,
Don't feed me violins, just run with me
through rows of speeding cars.
21 on the run, on the run, on the run
From myself, from myself and everyone
I better leave the light on
The darkness, The sweetness, The sadness, The weakness,
O, I need this
Hi, I'm Roli Take Care, Stay Safe, Shout if you need anything
I just want the pain to go away. It shouldn't even be here. I hate feeling incomplete and inadequate. I know I have a family who loves me and friends but I still feel incomplete. For some reason I still feel like I don't belong in this world. It's eating at my insides and I think I may be on my 3rd stomach ulcer of the past 6 months. I hate having such problems and I hate random bursts of sadness. Damn, none of my thoughts even flow at this point. I really want to escape. I really want out. I really want a girlfriend. God, that would make things SO much better it's ridiculous. But no one wants to be with me and I understand why. They deserve someone better and more functional. I seriously can't go on like this much longer. I'm treating the year 2012 like it's my last and that just may be how it turns out.
I just feel so guilty that I feel this way. I don't want to hurt my family I don't want to hurt anybody. I just wish they could understand me. I wish they could see me as I see me. I wish they could understand my pain. Then they would get my desperation and know why I want out so much. Anyway, I suppose I better try to go to sleep. I need to at least try to make myself better and more suited for this world in the next 11 months regardless of my future.
I hate having these problems! I don't want to be sad! How do I escape the sadness?! It just lingers over me and sometimes for no reason!
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin’ with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken
Captain B2. Worried about you. I am still struggling too but it helps to get a doctor and counsellor/therapist. Then you have people who can help and understand. And you can get yourself fit in 2012 as you say. Give yourself every opportunity. Please. Take care of yourself. You're not alone
Captain B2 - I agree with Rachel and Roli - You're not alone and keep fighting. You say you want people to understand how you see yourself - have you tried explaining it to them? Maybe writing them a letter or something - just to let one person in so they can help? Like Rachel said; a counsellor/therapist/doctor can help - and nine times out of ten there won't be something they haven't heard before - so they can understand how you're feeling and what you're going through.
Why is it that you're so sure being in a relationship will make things so much better? All I have found in mine is that it's made all of this ten times worse. It's made things harder.
I'm pretty low on words and that seems all I have right now, but we're all here supporting you and we all care <3
Rachel - he won't lock you up darling. He'll discuss how they can help support you more. Things to put in place when you're feeling unsafe, you know? He's there to help darling *hugs* - I know it's hard but the best things in life are worth fighting for <3
Take Care, Stay Safe, Shout if you need anything
