Thanks for the comments, I haven't been writing as much as I should have been, not Orange anyways.
I know it doesn't make up for it but if anyone is interested in other kinds of creative writing I do check out this post. Might not be your cup of tea, but still. Worth a shot huh? http://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum...71#post1768971
System A
Sophie Mandi Max Gwen Mercy Erin AVA Tracey Bridget My Isaac
"A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell 'em for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I'm a goner
And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'
Funny when you're dead how people start listenin'"
Sorry guys, the thing is this story is sorta mostly autobiographical. I didn't want to say because I didn't want to get comments because people felt sorry for me, I wanted people to like the writing.
The thing is my therapist made me write a very similar piece for 'homework' and it really upset me. So I'm not quite able to seperate the reality and the story enough to write at the minute. Sorry.
System A
Sophie Mandi Max Gwen Mercy Erin AVA Tracey Bridget My Isaac
It's okay hun, you take your time and write more when you feel ready.
You're writing is amazing whether we knew it was autobiographical or not, but now we know it's autobiographical we'll be able to your see emotion behind it.. if you get me?
That's completely understandable! You make sure you feel up to writing before you do any more, don't trigger yourself doing it, but remember you've got a string of fans all ready to support you if you need it
It is eleven minutes past one. I am thirteen. I can barely move, and I like it. I know this is wrong but I want to feel alive for a change. I’m sitting on the road bridge about a half mile from school. I can see a lot from up here, the cars racing past behind me don’t know I even exist. The cars below don’t look up. I grasp the hard concrete with my fingertips, I close my eyes. I lean forward, I feel my weight pull on my arms and I wonder for a moment if I will let go. My survival instinct kicks back in and I flatten myself against the wall. I don’t feel anything. I pull my tiny frame upright and force myself to step down onto the bank. No one sees me anymore.
I thought I wanted to be invisible, that then no one would hurt me, stare at me. That maybe if no one cared for me I could pretend I didn’t care for anyone else. How many times will I clasp pills, not nearly enough, how many times will I lean over bridges only 6 foot high? I don’t want to kill myself; I just need it to stop. Sam. You don’t realise you could have saved me. I trudge back to school, walk straight into my class, not even the teacher acknowledges me. Such is ‘life’.
System A
Sophie Mandi Max Gwen Mercy Erin AVA Tracey Bridget My Isaac
It is one thirty-two. I am sixteen years old. So what if I can’t sleep tonight. I should not be thinking of him, not even a flicker. Why am I doing this? My head hurts so much, real pain but this pain is uncomfortable. I didn’t choose this pain, I don’t want it, I need it to leave me alone.
I put one hand behind my head, close both eyes tightly and smash my hand against the wall.
My head doesn’t hurt anymore.
My hand isn’t broken.
‘I need to think, to really think. I can’t do this. I need to count, I don’t understand. So he looked at you, so what if he smiled. It’s Sam, you nearly destroyed yourself for him’
‘And? You think that I care that I nearly died for him. I needed him’.
‘You never got him! Stop living your life the way you wanted it to be at thirteen, you know better than this’.
‘So maybe I don’t! So am I not allowed to be confused? David is just talking to me, just a couple of times, I have always loved Sam.’
‘Love? You can’t love someone you hardly know, David is no one, Sam is gone forever.’
I can’t breathe, something’s wrong. My chest is tight, my hands are tingling, I think I’m going to die. Oh ****, not again. I can’t breathe. I can’t breathe. I can’t breathe. Help me? I am so afraid right now.
It is one-forty-two. I am sixteen years old. I think I’m going mad. I feel scared, a little sick and I don’t have a clue what’s happening. I was thinking about….. It’s back, all of it. I remember. It’s okay, thank God, I’m okay.
My hand hurts.
System A
Sophie Mandi Max Gwen Mercy Erin AVA Tracey Bridget My Isaac
