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Old 21-12-2020, 01:40 PM   #281
Cacoethes
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Well it looks like death isn't going to happen for you anytime soon so you might as well focus on living and making a good life for yourself



I'm fine! Totally fine. I don't know why it's coming out all loud and squeaky, 'cause really, I'm fine!


Who else is fine?!?!?


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Old 21-12-2020, 05:59 PM   #282
Darkwings44
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im sorry Cacoethes i know you replyed to the thread but somehow i cant see the post im sorry........



just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life...….


Am I a failure from birth
Is misery what I deserve
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Old 21-12-2020, 06:09 PM   #283
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cacoethes View Post
Well it looks like death isn't going to happen for you anytime soon so you might as well focus on living and making a good life for yourself
Can you see it now darkwings?




Wannabe CPN : -)
"He who is tired of Weird Al is tired of life." - Homer Simpson
"I hear those voices that will not be drowned"
Sanity is a nasty disease. The world would be a happier place without it. - Rilic
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Old 21-12-2020, 06:11 PM   #284
Darkwings44
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yes!!!! how did you do that!!!! =O



just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life...….


Am I a failure from birth
Is misery what I deserve
Am I just so void of love
That I'm never good, never good enough
~citizen soldier-never good enough

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Old 21-12-2020, 09:23 PM   #285
Darkwings44
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i feel worse then dung!!!!! why cant i die!!!! i have nothing to live for!!!!!!!!!



just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life...….


Am I a failure from birth
Is misery what I deserve
Am I just so void of love
That I'm never good, never good enough
~citizen soldier-never good enough

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Old 21-12-2020, 10:56 PM   #286
Pomegranate
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What are you doing for Christmas? Have you spoken to staff about how you’re feeling? When is next therapist appt?





*Proud Plumeria Sister*







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Old 21-12-2020, 10:56 PM   #287
Greyscale
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Have you considered spending your time in therapy on trying to find ways to improve your life and find what holds meaning for you instead of focusing on asking how to die? Therapy can be really useful for finding hope and learning skills to help manage these difficult emotions and making life feel more manageable, but you have to use it effectively to achieve those results. I would suggest maybe trying that moving forward. I hope you have a good holiday if you celebrate Christmas.

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Old 21-12-2020, 11:04 PM   #288
Darkwings44
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no.... but i'll try that....

thank you alot and yes i do celebrate Christmas <3



just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life...….


Am I a failure from birth
Is misery what I deserve
Am I just so void of love
That I'm never good, never good enough
~citizen soldier-never good enough

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Old 21-12-2020, 11:09 PM   #289
Darkwings44
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pomegranate View Post
What are you doing for Christmas? Have you spoken to staff about how you’re feeling? When is next therapist appt?
i have no idea..... my family is supposed to come and vist me but i dont know if they will or not..........

no.... i really dont want my laptop taken away from me.......

i think this week but i dont know for sure......



just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life...….


Am I a failure from birth
Is misery what I deserve
Am I just so void of love
That I'm never good, never good enough
~citizen soldier-never good enough

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Old 22-12-2020, 03:19 AM   #290
Darkwings44
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i really feel worthless and unloveable and i want everything to stop!!!!!



just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life...….


Am I a failure from birth
Is misery what I deserve
Am I just so void of love
That I'm never good, never good enough
~citizen soldier-never good enough

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Old 22-12-2020, 03:33 AM   #291
Pomegranate
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Do you share these thoughts with therapist?





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Old 22-12-2020, 05:00 PM   #292
Darkwings44
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.....no.......



just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life...….


Am I a failure from birth
Is misery what I deserve
Am I just so void of love
That I'm never good, never good enough
~citizen soldier-never good enough

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Old 22-12-2020, 09:50 PM   #293
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The following content has been hidden - Reason : merry christmas!! =)
no one would care if i die!!!!!!!not my family!! not my friends!!! NO ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i wont be missed at all!!!! i just wanna die!!!!!!!! im going to try to give everyone what they really want for christmas!!!!!!!! ME DEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my mind is filled with death my heart is filled hurt and emptyness!!!!!!!! everything is messed up!!!!! everything fucked!!!!!!!!! everything is HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i cant be cared about because of how worthless i am!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

song that is playing in my headphones and in my heart
https://youtu.be/fGuNOcmHj54
(linkin park- leave out all the rest)


Last edited by Pi.R^2 : 23-12-2020 at 02:31 PM. Reason: please see your PMs.


just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life...….


Am I a failure from birth
Is misery what I deserve
Am I just so void of love
That I'm never good, never good enough
~citizen soldier-never good enough

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Old 22-12-2020, 10:44 PM   #294
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How exactly would you like us to respond to that?


Last edited by Pi.R^2 : 23-12-2020 at 02:31 PM. Reason: removed reference to edited content


Please do not give me virtual hugs unless you are only using the hug function on threads. Thanks.


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This is happening, this is part of you.


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Old 22-12-2020, 10:49 PM   #295
Darkwings44
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...............im sorry............... its how i feel....... im sorry i didnt mean to be rude at all............... im sorry....................



just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life...….


Am I a failure from birth
Is misery what I deserve
Am I just so void of love
That I'm never good, never good enough
~citizen soldier-never good enough

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Old 22-12-2020, 10:50 PM   #296
Auror.
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Okay so it's good to express how you feel, but it's not really okay to say that people who care about you (irl and online) wouldn't care if you died. That's not cool.

How do you want us to respond when you make posts like that? What kind of support do you want us to offer or what would you like us to say?



Please do not give me virtual hugs unless you are only using the hug function on threads. Thanks.


You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.


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Old 22-12-2020, 11:17 PM   #297
Darkwings44
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its not easy for me to open up and trust people but i have tryed talking to my therpist i ive tryed talking to staff but it got worse and i stoped opening up and trusting them ok? *cries*



just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life...….


Am I a failure from birth
Is misery what I deserve
Am I just so void of love
That I'm never good, never good enough
~citizen soldier-never good enough

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Old 22-12-2020, 11:21 PM   #298
Auror.
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I'm asking for the third time because you seem to be ignoring my questions, and they would be good to know because it might help you get better support on here.

How do you want us to respond when you make posts like that? What kind of support do you want us to offer or what would you like us to say?



Please do not give me virtual hugs unless you are only using the hug function on threads. Thanks.


You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.


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Old 22-12-2020, 11:27 PM   #299
Darkwings44
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im sorry i didnt mean to.....

i dont know....... tbh i dont want you all to feel like your forced to say anything....... but...... someone who cares and who understands............. im sorry for bothering you all........



just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life...….


Am I a failure from birth
Is misery what I deserve
Am I just so void of love
That I'm never good, never good enough
~citizen soldier-never good enough

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Old 22-12-2020, 11:27 PM   #300
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Is it more helpful if we just offer hugs and encouragement rather than advice? I’m getting the feeing you’re maybe not ready to take advice on board.

PS - I’m sorry if my previous post upset you, I’ve deleted it. It wasn’t my intention to upset you so I’m sorry.

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