Stace - Diets just aren't worth it unless you're willing to stick to that diet for the rest of your life. It's all about lifestyle and to be honest from the pictures i've seen of you i'd kill to look like you. You shouldn't let other peoples comments get you into a dangerous mindset of needing to lose weight - it's a slippery slope you don't need to go down.
Berni - Are you pulling your tummy muscles in when doing the DVD? When i used to exercise on a daily basis one of the classes i went to was Pilates, sadly due to the fact i used to do back to back classes (which i was called mad for doing lol) i was so tired i didn't pull my tummy muscles in properly which has led to me now having chronic back pain - as your tummy muscles protect your back and stop you pulling muscles! Goodluck with it though.
I love that website where mothers post pictures of themselves after having had children - i can't remember what it's called now but it's in my favourites i'm just too lazy to go get it! I think it's sad that so many women feel the need to lose all of there baby weight/baby "pouches" and get paranoid about stretch marks - look what you have to show for all of this, the most precious thing a woman could ever ask for - a child.
It just upsets me that people are so hell bent on there size after having children :( I'm bigger than the majority of you when you were 9 months pregnant! (I'm just more spread out without the bump!)
When i was pregnant with T i had horrible greasy skin but no spots and i still suffer with greasy skin now. I wasn't very big as she was only born at 24 weeks, and i just had a lower bump which was easier for me to hide.
its not just other peoples comments, though they make things 100x worse, its how i feel in myself. i have spent my life being very slim and this has affected me in a big way. might seem vain, but its real to me.
there is a big pressure on women to snap back into shape and be a superwoman juggling work, home and child(ren) and i am afraid to say i have been a casualty of that, hence why i took a year maternity leave and am now on the sick due to PND. of course its not just that, but i believe that is a big factor in it.
i remember when freyja was 6 months old someone told me i looked pregnant and when i exclaimed that i had a baby which i housed in my body for nearly 10 months he said 'yeah but that was like 6 months ago!' as if it was long enough and i should be back in shape. i know what he was saying was stupid and totally naive but it did affect me in a big way.
"When I want your opinion, I'll beat it out of you" - Dr Samuel Loomis
chloe's got an awful rash. she's spent all last week with a cold and teething, the last 2 days off her food and drink - enough to worry me, and a temperature that calpol wasn't controling. she cooled down last night and then this morning her usual spotty face had been joined by a few red marks, her spotty neck is all over her back ,some on her belly and during the day more on her face and spreading to arms and legs.
as the day has cooled they have receeded slightly, but what worris me is matt was very ill last week and is now covered in spots (he has acne all over, so difficult to tell) and can't remember if he ever had chickenpox.
and stace, i think you are beautiful, i can only dream of looking like you. ps your pregnancy acne is like my usual acne (without pregnancy making it worse) on a good day.
cuddles to all mand x
Mand, South Wales, Full-time working, single mother to 2 scarily independent girls.
I AM A PROUD PLUMERIA SISTER
the rash seems to be calming down so not sure now...she's still getting new red blotches - like classic first sign of chickenpox, but the rest aren't red anymore - maybe it's a viral rash. if it's not gone by monday we'll be down the dr's. she's been an angel today.
ate really well drank all her bottle this morning, drank loads during the day, straw in a glass, she got the top off her beaker and used it like an open cup all by herself before mummy saw what she'd done! She's not had her last bottle yet as silly mummy didn't see the time and was late with her tea - like 7:30pm!! She's dropped off in her highchair in front of britian's got talent, so i'm leaving her to it for now, will give her bottle when she wakes up. we can all have a lie in tomorrow, don't need to be up til 9:30am.
mand x
Mand, South Wales, Full-time working, single mother to 2 scarily independent girls.
I AM A PROUD PLUMERIA SISTER
god i wish freyja would sleep late....shes an early riser. though im sure its because i need a blackout blind. we stayed with my friend last night and she got up late this morning and im convinced its because she has dark curtains instead of stupid white ones like me!
"When I want your opinion, I'll beat it out of you" - Dr Samuel Loomis
we bought so called blackout lining for chloe's curtains, coz she has white and beigey/coffee gingham and it does nothing.
she's usually up between 7 and 8 but it was 9:30 today hopefully tomorrow too. she's only gone down half hour ago properly, changed and bottle finished. mand x
Mand, South Wales, Full-time working, single mother to 2 scarily independent girls.
I AM A PROUD PLUMERIA SISTER
My nieces would wake up at ridiculous hours (5-6am) if the blackout blind wasn't put down. It tricks the babies minds into thinking it's still night time, it's quite clever. Infact, i'm wanting a blackout blind just for myself. I suffer really bad with migraines and i have pink curtains and the sun shines at the back of the house (where my room is) so it's so bright i can't sleep/settle when i have a migraine. I like things to be DARK. I can never understand people who sleep without curtains.
You should definatly get one Stace - it might make a big difference but even if it doesn't (Freyja may now be wiser now she is older and she won't be so easily tricked!) it will definatly be a good investment for future babies :)
Also Stace - i understand that you miss being "slim", but you have to remember your body has changed a LOT since you were 16 - not just because of pregnancy (which is a BIG factor) but womens bodies naturally change over the years anyway. As Mandi has said - i would die to have your body, honestly Stace, you need to see yourself now and think of the positives not the negatives, you truely are beautiful as is Freyja. I'd do anything to have my daughter here - i'd suffer with a sh*t body for that. But i know your views are scewered because of your self belief.
I mean - you're small, and if you get comments, how do you think us bigger people feel? We're forever being judged, spat at, being shouted abuse at. It's part of the reason i've turned agoraphobic because i'm too scared of judgement - i'm so self conscious it's unreal.
But Stace seriously, you're really beautiful, and coming from me, trust me, that's a compliment! I rarely say something unless i mean it. *hug*
Mandi - I hope Chloe is better soon, poor love. I hope it's nothing too serious - it could be heat rash maybe? It has been rather hot the past few days.
its looking a bit like eczema now the blotchy red marks are settling down. will ask the midwife at church tomorrow. she's not had it before and she hasn't had naything new in her diet as far as i can think, and we use the same bath stuff as we always did.
maybe its from going without a top outside maybe the grass has irritated her? mand x
Mand, South Wales, Full-time working, single mother to 2 scarily independent girls.
I AM A PROUD PLUMERIA SISTER
Think you hit the nail on the head there Mand!
Sounds to me like an allergy to grass/pollen - especially if she's had no top on and has interacted with the grass quite a lot. Rashes are the first sign in babies when it comes to allergies.
Definatly talk to your midwife but i remember you mentioning in an FA thread before about your allergies so she may have inherited that from you.
Also in this head babies (especially chunky monkeys) have so many creases that they sweat in this can cause rashes too which can turn into eczma. I had eczma from a baby and still have it now.
Oh that reminds me, i found out the other day when i was born my skin was peeling because i'd been inside the womb for so long! Ahahah lazy moo i was - not much change there then :P
I looked like a chinese baby, i didn't believe the baby picture was mine when i first saw it years ago. Jet black hair, slitty eyes, dark tanned skin - then at toddler age i had white blonde hair, normal skin, and big eyes!
i defo want the blackout blind i think it would be so much better for her. even to help her drop off at night because its difficult when she is trying to sleep when its still blazing sunshine outside.
and thank you. it just feels so real to me.
"When I want your opinion, I'll beat it out of you" - Dr Samuel Loomis
Anyone here remember the 2nd trimester depression?
I'm experiencing that right now, especially with body image plummeting due to my belly growing. I feel anything but beautiful and glowing with my pregnancy.
And has anyone else had experiences putting a child up for adoption? I'm 17 years old and that's what I'm planning to do but it's difficult feeling this baby move inside me and knowing I'm not the one it will call Mommy.
meandbabyunborn - I can't imagine how difficult this must be for you. I didn't get 2nd trimester depression so I can't comment. But I'd like to say, if you don't want to give your baby up then don't. This has got to be YOUR decision and yours alone. If you feel a bond with that baby and love that baby, you have every right to be his/her mother no matter how old you are. I know plenty of teenage mum's - some younger than you. And their age doesn't really affect how good they are as parents. Children need love and a certain amount of self sacrifice (but what you get back in return is worth it). Money and stability help of course, but their main requirement is plenty of love. If you can give that, you won't be a bad parent.
Not everyone feels 'glowing' when they're pregnant. I felt like a fat, beached whale most of the time.
Stace - I can relate to pretty much everything you're saying about body image stuff.
Quote:
Also Stace - i understand that you miss being "slim", but you have to remember your body has changed a LOT since you were 16 - not just because of pregnancy (which is a BIG factor) but womens bodies naturally change over the years anyway.
wise words... and words I should take into account myself.
I appear to be relapsing back into my eating disorder. I've had a referal to a councellor though, who I start seeing on Tuesday for ten weeks. Let's see how it goes...
Madeleine's going to nursery! She had settling in on Friday, and again tommorow - and she loves it! I think I will keep her there one morning a week even after I finish the councelling - she really loves it and seems to be getting good stuff out of it.
helena, well done on facing the problem head on, i believe part of getting better and recovery is wanting to do it, you're obviously fighting this right from the start. well done!
chloe's rash is now on her back and tummy mainly but has settled into clusters of red pinpricks which are too close together to be chickenpox, also no new ones on arms or legs or face, and the blotchy red marks have gone too. it looks like an allergy now that they blotchy red spots have gone. i suppose the heat hasn't helped, but she doesn't get heat rash really as she's good at getting arms out of things and will undress herself!
i'm feeling very tired this trimester, more so than the first - but more active too... i've got my energy back but still no stamina i guess! the tiredness can make you feel depressed but i'm lucky i got a long sleep today in the afternoon and just doinked! mand x
Mand, South Wales, Full-time working, single mother to 2 scarily independent girls.
I AM A PROUD PLUMERIA SISTER
helena, well done on facing the problem head on, i believe part of getting better and recovery is wanting to do it, you're obviously fighting this right from the start. well done!
I am and I aren't... part of the reason I'm feeling more positive about recovering is that I'm eating less (so my coping mechanism is working!). The thing is... I'd love to get better and I would willingly embrace, and do anything I was told to do that would help - EXCEPT eat more.
helena i hope you are able to come out the other end of this hun. good luck with the referral, i wish you all the luck in the world in getting better.
meandbabyunborn - i echo what helena said. you have to do what is right for you and if you want to keep the baby then that is entirely your decision. age is just a number and teenage mothers can be just as great mothers as anyone else.
im a bit gutted this morning after discovering a boots receipt for the height, weight and bmi calculator. and i am now 1 STONE 3LBs heavier than i was when i was 3 months pregnant. argh!!!!
"When I want your opinion, I'll beat it out of you" - Dr Samuel Loomis
helena, something inside you has decided to at least try to fight this, or you wouldn't have gone for help. you need to try to take the emphasis off the amount that you eat and more onto eating a balanced diet and being healthy that way.
berni you'll have a 6 pack soon lol!
matt and i had a tiff today, he's depressed so not coming to bed, which means i need to stay up to nag him. he's not eating properly again, drinking too much redbull type drinks... he moaned coz he had chloe for 3 hours whilst i slept in coz i'm ill and shattered. after an hour of my turn we went up to see daddy. of course it doesn't matter that i had her all day yesterday apart from a few hours when my mum took her.
if i could spend 6hrs a day on the computer i'm sure i'd be happy too... the only time i get on is odd bits here n there when she is sleeping or watching tv or when she's gone to bed. and then i have to keep stopping to cuddle her or sort her teeth out etc etc.
matt's idea of looking after her is to sit on his pc and moan when she gets bored and tries to help him. he'll occasionally feed or water or change her... but only if he reallyhas to. sometimes it doesn't iccur to him that at 2pm she's gonna be hungry coz he didn't feed her lunch yet!
grrr
mand x
Mand, South Wales, Full-time working, single mother to 2 scarily independent girls.
I AM A PROUD PLUMERIA SISTER
i got mega sunburned on my back today. it got to 26 degrees here despite the weather forecast saying it would only reach a high of 21. and this is what resulted....ow!!!!
"When I want your opinion, I'll beat it out of you" - Dr Samuel Loomis
