Right, Mark, I really think you need to talk to a Dr of some form, even if it's just to check your meds because it's clear to me you are struggling, and that things could get really bad if you don't. Also, maybe you could try discussing things more with Becky and Kat because you seem to have a really good relationship with them and they can support you to get more medical help. As for no one giving a ****...well I do and i'm sure other threadlings do, and I hope that can count for something. CMHT's can be useless, I agree, but they are over streched and underfunded and i try to give them the benefit of the doubt for that, even though I agree they could be doing a lot more to help people like us.
I might drag my own sorry ass to the doctors tomorrow. If i can get the courage up to go through their stupid new telephone screening system that is. ****ing phonecalls.
Mark i agree with Colour, you need to speak to someone about how you are feeling. as for people giving a ****, I certainly do, you are one of my two best friends, you are a super, caring guy and I care a lot and wish i could do more to help you. As for the CMHT, I don't have any faith in them, I've been turned down to have a cpn because I can sometimes cope with doing a weekly food shop and my room in hospital wasn't a right mess. They are full of bullshit if you ask me.
Colour good luck with phoning the doctors tomorrow. How are you?
I ****ing cut, I couldn't cope anymore, I'm too anxious about my lecture tomorrow as I don't know the tutor or anyone who is in my class. I was unusually quiet at youth group tonight, mean I'm not normally really chatty, but I talk a bit and I didn't except to say my name. I'm worried that the stress of uni is already getting to me. and now I've cut and it wasn't just a little slip up, no I cut a lot and now i ****ing hate myself.
"Never be a spectator of unfairness or studpidity. The grave will supply plenty of time for silence." Christopher Hitchens
'When words fail, music speaks'
I am transsexual and homoromantic and proud to be.
Oliver, take some control back for yourself and make sure you look after the wounds ok? Can you go and talk to student support and tell them you're already feeling the pressure and see if you can get something in place where you could reduce your anxiety, like video linked lectures from home or something?
You can get through this, it's just going to take some adjusting.
Last edited by Colour Blind : 25-09-2012 at 11:12 PM.
Reason: Stoopid iPhone.
I'm not good at looking after my wounds, I tend to just put a jumper on and ignore them.
I don't know, they really frown on missing lectures and stuff and are really strict about it, if it keeps getting worse I might email the student welfare lady, but I don't like to appear like i'm weak and can't do stuff.
"Never be a spectator of unfairness or studpidity. The grave will supply plenty of time for silence." Christopher Hitchens
'When words fail, music speaks'
I am transsexual and homoromantic and proud to be.
I rang the doctors. Neither of the ones I'd be ok to see are in today so I have to wait for tomorrow for the doctor to call me and see if I can have an appointment. I cried on the phone too the receptionist I was that anxious. And now I have to go through this again tomorrow. I hardly slept last night because my heart was pounding with anxiety. I'm dreading another night if it. I'm a mess. a complete ****ing mess.
Last edited by Colour Blind : 26-09-2012 at 08:39 AM.
Reason: Typo
My knee is strapped and the weather sucks so I can't go for a walk, otherwise I would. Or go to the gym, but I can't even sit at the upper body machines because my knee won't bend. I'm trying to just breathe deeply etc, but i keep wanting to cry.
Take it easy today Colour. Hopefully you will get an appointment tomorrow. If not is it possible to see another doctor at the surgery? Is something worrying to make you sooo anxious? Sorry your struggling so much*hugs* - here if you want to talk (pm if you want). Xxx
How are you Kat?
Lucky- I forgot to ask how was your psych appointment on Monday? Did you write the note in the end?
*hug Mark* - sorry your struggling mate. Is it possible to call up your CMHT and arrange an appointment with your psych? It's nearly been a year since you've seen him and things have probably changed since then. Please don't start cutting again - your doing so well Hun, stay strong xxx
Oliver- maybe your just stressed and feeling the pressure as you did take two years out and now returning so you need to get back into the routine and swing of things again? Give it time; hopefully the pressure will get easier. I'm like you, I don't look after my cuts either but if you don't the scarring is a lot more :(. So maybe if you can use some antiseptic wipes and make sure they are clean to prevent an infection?
How is everyone else? Xxx
Ballerina123 - My lovely superstar
Call me R -
The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time - Abraham Lincoln
I'm only really happy to see two doctors there after the one I used to see regularly left in August. I've not been since he left and the one I'm hoping to see tomorrow is the one who was incredibly helpful when I had a real bad moment and couldn't get to see him. And it's not so much an issue of not being able to fit an appointment in, they now have a sytem where they try to treat you on the phone rather than in an appointment and I hate phone calls so I need to persuade them to just let me go in and see them face to face.
Thanks for your support hun. I think it's a combination of things making me feel like this, which hasn't been helped by the idiot temp psych lowering my anti-anxiety meds a month ago.
