I'm having some very real , very scary thoughts/fantasies about cutting myself :(
Also I think I saw fish in my floor like it was water a bit ago , that was weird, has that happened to you guys before?
These fantasies are no fun , NO Mustn't do them already cut today grrr
Last edited by Doikers : 07-07-2010 at 07:33 PM.
Reason: to edit
I'm still not comfortable in my skin and the anasthetic's slowly wearing thin - Otep
Everyones lost but me! - Indiana Jones
It's okay , they know me here .
Kahlia1981 is my adopted little sister :)
''Courage doesn't always roar , sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow"
*cuddles mark*
I haven't had that happen before for the fish thing... do you mean like you saw water with fish where your floor is or like you literally saw fish swimming in your flooring like water? I have had the cutting ones though. Where I actually see an injury I haven't made when my urges get on the worse side...
I was lei'd in vets! ***** Proud Plumeria Sister!
"He said look inside your heart/ And you'll see stars/ Falling stars/ Look, deep into my eyes/ Don't look down/ Or you'll fall, he said/ Here, the sky goes on forever"
i'm sorry for the lack of individual replies/support right now, especially as i know that so many of us need it, but... i'm going absolutely ****ing crazy. i'm at my parents' - still - 4th day in a row, and i just want some privacy where i can cut. i hate myself so ****ing much for eating so much ("so much") and i just want to have some time to myself. i don't know. and then there's stuff going on with jarrod that is worrying me... he's trying to get out of his current job (well, he's on furlough now but he's supposed to go back to his job on the 26th) because it's a "toxic environment" for him... he's considering the air force... or some sort of military, and that terrifies the snot out of me. i don't know what to do about it either, as God isn't giving us - well, me, anyway - guidance on where to go with this. i don't want him to be deployed, because i would be a wreck without him, and i don't want to have to live without him for a long period of time. we don't have kids and no possibility of having them after his operation - for the best - but still, nothing to live for with him gone. i don't know. am i making any sense at all? :-S
i just want to give up. please???
RYL family: Doikers is my brother
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter into another! - Anatole France.
*Hugs Jill* What's wrong sweet? I also hate school holiday. I am soo grateful for work experiacne at the mo because I have to spend too much time with my family and I just...urgh.
*Hugs April*- Hope you're Ok. At least you've almost finished the internship, that'll be a weight off your shoulders.
*Joins April in hole and offers tea* tea always helps. What's up?
Mark- I'm sorry you cut today. Try to hold on this time, you have proved before you can resist the urges and I know you can do it again *encouraging hugs*
*Hugs and tea to anyone else who need them.
Little happiness for you- I'm bang-tidy. And I mean it right now. I met someone named Jack this evening. We got on really well and my friends were teasing me for ages. They reckon we were both flirting. I like him, but I don't know if I do in that way...I'm adding him on fb though, only maybe not tonight, I don't want to look too keen...:)
Oh Luke-What's up? Well done on deciding to give up, I hope it continues to go well for you. DO something that uses your hands so you can't pull your hair out. Write or make paper areoplanes.
xxx
Kat is feeling rather ashamed of herself at the moment, so I am here for her instead. I dont know what she writes about here, so Im just going to sit, if you dont mind of course.
You are talking to: Kat The Others are: Annabell (Belle), Rosie, Lotty, Kate, Amy, Jessica (Jess), Sarah, Ramiel(Miel), Elizabeth (Liz), Shadow
Thanks mark and lia,Can't really answer that right now, I have not much energy right now sorry.just didn't want to you to think I was ingnouring the both of you. If that even make sence, idk. Huggles both lia and mark. Sorryi thought I had a couple of times wasn't sure tho.
Last edited by shadowedsoul : 07-07-2010 at 11:48 PM.
Reason: Spelling mistake.
Luke sometimes it isn't about looks but necessity. If you need to shave it to keep from pulling it I'd say go for it.If it looks bad to you you can always wear bandannas and hats.
Elizabeth? You are welcome to sit as long as you like in here... why is Kat feeling ashamed of herself?
I was lei'd in vets! ***** Proud Plumeria Sister!
"He said look inside your heart/ And you'll see stars/ Falling stars/ Look, deep into my eyes/ Don't look down/ Or you'll fall, he said/ Here, the sky goes on forever"
Luke - I'm so sorry about your girlfriend (or boyfriend). Perhaps things will be Ok, 'need time to think' is better than 'you're dumped'. It might be OK. I'm glad you had a good night with you mates.
You could try shaving your head, if it looks bad just wear a bandana like a pirate and go around with a sword 'arrrr!' ing at people. Oh that reminds me of anther crappy joke.
Why are pirates called pirates?
Because they arrrr!
It's Ok Jill, whenever you feel ready. If that's never then that's OK too,we will just be here to support you :)
*hugs*
My name's spelt Lia btw, but don't worry about it :) Speaking of which, does anyone know if Lea Michelle's name is pronounced Le-ah, or Lee? Not that it really matters, just something that's bugging me.
i don't want jarrod to be in the military... i'm so scared... :'(
i don't want to be at my parents' anymore. just want to give up. quit. and i cut earlier with a not-completely-sanitary tool and i'm scared now. :-S
feel so ****ing stupid. hate the options for the future, just want to give up... why can't i???
edit - sorry once again for the lack of individual replies. feel pretty **** about not replying to you guys but... i will try to later.
RYL family: Doikers is my brother
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter into another! - Anatole France.
That monster Thomas has been making her read sick stuff and do nasty things again. It was the best ramiel and I could do to stop him getting near the others. I just hope that Kat can take it happening again, she's been doing so well.
**Forgot important words** - Elizabeth x
You are talking to: Kat The Others are: Annabell (Belle), Rosie, Lotty, Kate, Amy, Jessica (Jess), Sarah, Ramiel(Miel), Elizabeth (Liz), Shadow
*cuddles April* sorry i don't think i have anything constructive to say that would help but don't give up hun.
luke- it's crimson. if it makes you feel better i didn't substitute anything for it when i sheared my hair for that reason.
*cuddles kat/elizabeth* sorry i'm fairly useless right now
I was lei'd in vets! ***** Proud Plumeria Sister!
"He said look inside your heart/ And you'll see stars/ Falling stars/ Look, deep into my eyes/ Don't look down/ Or you'll fall, he said/ Here, the sky goes on forever"
I wouldn't call you useless crimson, you're talking to me which is very helpful. I just need to find someone who can help us control thomas better, before he hurts the littles again.
(hah, you wouldn't believe it but i've just been scared witless by the rabbit! lol.)
You are talking to: Kat The Others are: Annabell (Belle), Rosie, Lotty, Kate, Amy, Jessica (Jess), Sarah, Ramiel(Miel), Elizabeth (Liz), Shadow
Try not to worry, I'm sure everything will pan out in the end Luke. I think the slope downwards gets faster nearer the bottom, however from the bottom you can't fall any further. Hmm, I find it funny talking to you, we have a new baby nephew called Luke!
You are talking to: Kat The Others are: Annabell (Belle), Rosie, Lotty, Kate, Amy, Jessica (Jess), Sarah, Ramiel(Miel), Elizabeth (Liz), Shadow
updated my r/v just so y'all know... :( will probably update it again shortly, but i'm not certain.
still am not up to individual replies, so sorry. :'( feel so damn useless.
RYL family: Doikers is my brother
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter into another! - Anatole France.
Sorry, am not up to individual replies right now, but I have been reading.
Still anxious as heck. Just want all this to go away. Oh, and have a massive xanax hangover, but that's to be expected.
Sorry everyone is struggling.
She shouts, she screams, she smashes your dreams . . .
Would you mind if I killed you? Would you mind if I tried to?
'Cause you have turned into my worst enemy,
You carry hate that I don't feel: It's over now WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
* Proud Plumeria Sister * My Support Thread * I got lei'd in vets *
* My RYL Family: big brother Doikers; little sisters MammaMia & flutterby butterfly *
