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..::Kate::..
Join Date: Feb 2008
I am currently:  
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Sorry its short, but i wrote it in the last half hour and I have to go bed soon.
love ya all xxx
Chapter 17
Eventually i made my way down to the breakfast room, hoping to see her and at the same time dreading finding her there. My stomach twisted itself into knots as I stepped through the doorway, eyes fixed firmly on the wooden floor. I couldn't bring myself to look around, to try and catch her eye, to risk discovering that she wasn't even here. Instead, I shuffled towards the counter, recieved my regulation black tray with its calorie-counted meal on, and hurried to my allocated seat.
i was so distracted that I even forgot to try and hide some of the food as i ate. by the time i realised this, the plate was empty, and i laughed ruefully. I had discovered the perfect cure for my eating disorder. All I had to do was ignore the desperate longing that i felt in my heart, the pained ache that felt like it was tearing me in two. And then I could be cured.
Suddenly, the alarm for the first session of the day sounded. I rose shakily to my feet, trying not to draw attention to myself. Maybe she would forget about or session.
As i turned to take my tray back, I caught one foot on the underside of the bench and went sprawling across the floor. My head struck the boards and I gasped, almost insensible as the agony washed over me. Instead of fighting it, however, i sank back into the wave of calm that always accompanied pain, whether intentional or not. Then i heard her voice.
"Chlo? You ok?"
I opened my eyes to see her leaning over me, the long tendrils of her hair nearly brushing my face. Her eyes were full of concern, and she reached out a hand to sweep my fringe off my forehead. Stunned, i allowed her to help me to my feet, and lead me out of the room, leaving the others to clean up my discarded breakfast things.
We climbed the stairs to the therapy room still hand in hand, neither of us saying anything. Inside my head there was a battle, my heart and my head fighting for control. my head told me i loved Chris. I was straight. i got butterflies whenever i saw him. I had been with him for longer than any other guy.
But my heart, my heart was another matter. It kept reminding me of Lauren's hair, her laugh, her smile. The way it felt when she walked into the room, filling it with her energy. The empty space left when she wasn't there. It reminded me of the taste of her kiss, the feel of her hands in my hair. It was so much more than anything i felt for Chris. Completely new and unexplainable.
We reached the therapy suite and let ourselves in, waiting for someone to turn up. We didn't know who we would be seeing yet, and so we both headed for the sofa by the window, sitting next to each other, hands still intertwined. I looked at her, and tried to explain.
"Lauren, look. I'm sorry. I didn't mean what I said. I was just... confused. I... I never did anything like that before. I mean, I'm straight. And it's wrong. No, I don't mean that, but I was brought up to believe that it's wrong. And i have a boyfriend. But..."
I swallowed, and tried to continue, but with her staring at me, it was to hard. I got up and paced backward and forwards in front of her, but the words wouldn't come. Then she started to speak.
"It's my fault. i shouldn't have let things go so far. I just got caught up in the moment, i guess. I've never met anyone like you before. From the moment i first saw you, I think I loved you."
She hung her head, ashamed, tears spilling down her cheeks. I hesitated for a moment, and then my heart won out. I crossed the floor towards her, catching her chin in one hand and kissing her fiercely, wiping her tears away with my thumb. After a second, she kissed me back.
I broke away and smiled slightly, holding her face cupped between my hands.
"I love you too. I might need some time, and we'll have to take things slow, but we're gonna do this. I promise."
I kissed her again, more slowly this time, and then wrapped my arms around her, laying my head on her shoulder. She echoed me, and we stood together until the door opened.
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more now please lovey!
