Triggering (Abuse) - dissociative distress thread - Page 14

slacker · 19-10-2008, 10:03 PM

welcome to the thread whirlpools! :) ask loads of questions and share how you experience stuff and you'll likely get feedback from folks that can demistify what's going on for you

one source which may be interesting is http://strangerinthemirror.com/

on a personal note i am bricking it. i'm seeing the head psychologist tomorrow and me and others are getting really nervous. i'm going on my own and i'm starting to feel really flakey and the last thing i want is to be bullied

feels like something is kicking off inside and i'm feeling really lonely and scared

feels weird and shaming writing this down

Stellata · 20-10-2008, 08:20 AM

Hi whirlpools and Lyssie. :)

Chris, what makes you think you'll be bullied?

slacker · 23-10-2008, 09:51 AM

i got through it. they were lovely and respectful and didn't push at all. there was a lot of fear. the bullying thing was because of so many psychiatrists and CPNs who treat people in such revolting ways

stayed stable mostly and only had one major but short panic/distress episode afterwards, which was pretty good for me

how you doing katie?

Starburst · 24-10-2008, 05:36 PM

I suffer with dissociation apparently. I dunno...I don't actually think I do. I have PTSD, perhaps it's to do with that....?

Stellata · 24-10-2008, 06:38 PM

Dissociation is part of PTSD, yes. Hi. :)

I'm glad it went well, Chris.
Me, I'm exploring teenage developmental stages in myself that I need to go through... and having dissociative episodes of losing time in my dreams - but the dream also tells me what happened whilst someone else was out and I lost time.
I don't have losing time in my conscious life, so these dreams are indicating I'm reaching deeper layers, things in my psyche that've been walled off for years.

slacker · 24-10-2008, 09:07 PM

hi katie

the journey can be so distressing. it took me a while to learn that destabilisation is not the same as being undermined. growth requires destabilisation as it brings change in depth and connection, rather than being undermined by experiences and/or people that intentionally disrupt and harm

i hope that makes sense

Stellata · 25-10-2008, 07:17 AM

That makes total total sense, Chris. Thank you.

Stellata · 28-10-2008, 09:37 PM

I have a really strong feeling that I'm closer to DID than I would sometimes think I am.
Does that make sense?

bleeding black · 30-10-2008, 10:37 AM

It does.
through therapy our system's list of known alters has multiplied.
*thinking of you guys*

Aamanee · 30-10-2008, 08:19 PM

ELLA (AAMANEE ) WONT COME OUT ANY MORE SHE HIDES AND ONLY COME OUT FOR PRAYERS AND TO TALK TO HER HUSBAND

WE HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF THE DAY TO DAY THINGS AND HER COLLEGE ETC

WE THINK SHE WANTS TO HIDE FOR A LONG WHILE

BUT IT IS OK IT IS WHAT WE ARE HERE FOR

SCARLET

Stellata · 30-10-2008, 09:17 PM

Why does she want to hide, Scarlet?

Thanks bleedingblack.
My heart hurts.

Horizon · 30-10-2008, 11:19 PM

I hope everyone is doing okay..sorry I haven't been supporting much on this thread, I really should get better about that.

Jade keeps whispering to me, and I can't understand what she's saying. Then again I'm not sure I want to. And then after she does, I get the dreaded headache.

I feel like I'm turning into her, which I know I'm not because she's her own person...but it scares me that I see a lot of her in myself, increasingly.

Thinking of you guys,
Megan

Stellata · 31-10-2008, 08:51 AM

I get what you're saying, Megan. Katrina's been very active recently in me.

Aamanee · 31-10-2008, 10:16 AM

ELLA BEEN HAVING BAD THOUGHTS OF SU AND SI
SHE ISNT DEALING WITH THINGS SO WELL

SCARLET

slacker · 01-11-2008, 12:02 AM

hey katie ive been working in complex trauma for years and my system only became self aware last august!! on the 'oh my gosh!!' surprise scale it ranked pretty high!! so yes, DID dawned on me (and had been bubbling away for decades) and it presents more like borderline to the outside world

hi scarlet. you sound like a really good person and its beautiful knowing you are taking care of others. such a loving but often heavy duty thing to do. wishing you gentle moments

pixie*lyssie · 01-11-2008, 12:23 AM

My psychiatrist said I've been suffering from what's called depresionalization. It's been happening a lot lately. Is this a type of dissociation, apparently it is? I am not sure.

Stellata · 01-11-2008, 08:36 AM

Yes, it is a type of dissociation. :) See my reply to your thread.

Chris. Yes. It does. Continuum continuum continuum.

pixie*lyssie · 01-11-2008, 12:05 PM

Oh ok, thank you so much xx

slacker · 06-11-2008, 02:16 AM

you ever get that thing where you are crying hysterically for no obvious reason and really hate it and yet really love it because it feels beautiful in some strange way?

slacker · 06-11-2008, 02:17 AM

4th psychological assessment so far. they're asking questions that are pretty hard to withstand. i hope next week's is the last. this is getting heavy duty