The Borderline Personality Disorder Thread - Page 135

zowie · 12-07-2009, 09:59 PM

Daniella - Here if you need to talk, or rant.

Hope everyone's okay. I'm taking it easy this evening. Just going to have a couple of glasses of wine and stop there.

x-dying-inside-x · 12-07-2009, 11:31 PM

things have come up today that i just cant deal with.
i feel so weak and crap.

ThinkingofRecovery · 12-07-2009, 11:35 PM

Is there anyone you can talk about the things with?

Can you find a way of separating yourself out from the things so that you don't feel so crap. Is it really fair for you to feel crap and weak? Really?

Hollz · 12-07-2009, 11:40 PM

I've given up for the day. Just taken my meds. Will try again come 15:30 hours ...............

ThinkingofRecovery · 12-07-2009, 11:45 PM

Sleep well hun. I hope work goes ok.

Well done for getting around to starting your essays :)

x-dying-inside-x · 12-07-2009, 11:57 PM

sleep well hollz.
im talking to one of my close friends about it all now but all i keep doing is crying.

13-07-2009, 12:04 AM

Well done for filling in the form(s) Carrie - just take it a step at a time. Try not to think about it too much otherwise you'll just get yourself worked up, just keep your mind distracted if you can on other things.

ThinkingofRecovery · 13-07-2009, 12:54 AM

Thanks Laura. Waiting for night meds to kick in. Wish I had taken them earlier. I have work tomorrow but I reckon tomorrow evening is going to be a little difficult. Why can't I be normal and get ridiculous anxiety instead? I can speak in a courtroom in front of a judge and in conferences etc in front of the industry leaders but me, feelings, etc, I am useless. Pathetic.

babii.blu.eyes. · 13-07-2009, 06:36 AM

umm..hi..
i just found this thread..
bpd has been thrown around as a possible diagnosis for a year or so but nothing has ever been set in stone..
i just got out of hospital..
and i have learnt that its been set it stone now..
i dont know why..
but this particular diagnosis scares the hell out of me..
i dont know what to do..

xxox.
anna.

xXMessedUpXx · 13-07-2009, 11:56 AM

stupidstupidstupid haven't taken my meds for the last 3 days. dont know why. i'm stupid. add to this paranoia about something else which is tearing me apart and im screwed up.im not making sense.

zowie · 13-07-2009, 12:03 PM

I've got to go to the stinky Jobcentre today. I really don't want to leave the house.

Hollz · 13-07-2009, 03:34 PM

Just in from work. I am soooooooooooooooooo pissed off. My bro has been left a note to tidy kitchen and peel potatoe for dinner, nothig has been done and now Im going to need to do it, and I have this ****ing essay to do and I have 8 hours to do it.

I'm jus so stressed out, sitting crying and I feel so pathetic. Sorry.

whirlpools · 13-07-2009, 04:31 PM

Why do you have to do it, Hollz? The note was left for your brother. The reason I ask is because I used to be the same; if my brother didn't do as he was told, I'd do it. And it wears you out! I ended up wondering - why am I doing this?! It's his responsibility, he's a big boy now!

Don't worry about his stuff, hun. Just concentrate on your essay. xxx

whirlpools · 13-07-2009, 04:37 PM

Hi Anna, welcome to the thread. Lots of people are overwhelmed and scared when they get diagnosed BPD, especially when the diagnosis isn't explained, which it often isn't. I don't know why you're scared, but sometimes people are scared because there's been a lot of negativity around the diagnosis in the past - from people saying we're manipulative and attention-seeking, to people saying it's incurable. To some extent, both may be true. But let's face it, who in the world isn't manipulative and attention-seeking at times?! And, whilst not curable persay, BPD is definitely treatable.

If you have any questions, we're here for you. xxx

Hollz · 13-07-2009, 05:26 PM

Tidied a bit and peel the potatoes. Ugh, wee prick.

On the two essays, I have now gone way over the word count on the firt one and need to add more. Ugh ugh ugh ugh. Sorry, will justbe glad when this is finished.

Anna - I know its hard coming to terms with the diagnosis, but it i treatable and we all just need to take steps I spose in dealing with it, but you will find a lot of support in here , so welcome and I'll add more later, but just wanted to say hi x

ThinkingofRecovery · 13-07-2009, 06:58 PM

Hi Anna, welcome to the thread. We are all very friendly here so please feel free to post away.

I am gutted. My SW didn't fax over the application form to the TC people and so I can't go to the selection meeting tomorrow. I had been psyching myself up for it the past few days. The next round of info/selection isn't for another 6 weeks. It feels as though every time I try to get help from the various psychology services, something crops up to stop it. 6 weeks seems so long. I had been trying really hard to keep things under control but as usual the setback has affected me probably more than it should. I am so fed up and wanting to just say **** it and give in to the chaos again. Why do I bother?

shadowedseraph · 13-07-2009, 07:13 PM

*hugs no reason* you bother because you want to recover! its bad of your sw not to have faxed the form over for you.

*hugs Hollz* hows the essay going hun?

*hugs Laura* how are you doing today?

*hugs Anna* welcome to the thread dont be scared no one here bites, well, not without asking first :)

XxLostxX · 13-07-2009, 07:50 PM

Anna. I got diagnosed a year ago and i still haven't quite dealt with it yet.. Just don't let the stigma of it get you down. it's just a name. Doesnt make you any different of a person =]

Hollz. You shouldent have done it for your brother, let him do it himself. *hugs*, howz the essays going now? Hope you managed to get them finished.

No Reason.. Im sorry your Sw didn't send them. It's horrible when you're all pysched up, have been worrying then it doesn't happen. So you have to go through the whole process again *hugs*

*******

Eurgh.. Saw care co-ordinator this morning. Hes trying to convince me to buy into this.. 'crisis house' thing.. dunno if any of you have them around your way or have heard about it.. Its just like a 'safe' house to go to when you're suicidal or really low. Instead of going into hospital.
But.. I don't know that when i'm low or suicidal i would ever have the guts to go in.. generally 'cause it's too late and im out of it by that point.. Any of you been in one? if so what's it like?

Moods just generally really screwy. Dunno wheter im up or down.. Wish i'd never quit the DBT.. Had to get re-reffered and it's take 12 weeks.. my care co-ordinator hasn't even sent the forms off.. *he forgot..* grr. I only stopped it after 2 sessions because it wasn't practical with working full time and stuff.. couldent get the time off to go to the group sessions which were when i was working.. Now.. I'm not working. Typical

Sorry for the rant
*hugs to all that need them*

whirlpools · 13-07-2009, 08:04 PM

Carrie, that's so frustrating, maybe you could write to your SW or tell her how you're feeling? Just to get it out of you.

Hollz, I'm glad you got your essay done. It was interesting that you ignored my question. I'm not angry, just mentioning.

Hi shadowedseraph :) I'm struggling, hospital being mentioned, me trying to bury my head in the sand, as per.

Em, I have heard of the Crisis flats/houses before. We don't have them round here but I wish they did as an alternative to hospital/crisis team. Maybe you could ask your care co-ordinator to help you monitor yourself and assess when you need to go in. Like a joint decision and discussion.

XxLostxX · 13-07-2009, 08:17 PM

Yeah.. It does seem like a good idea.

He said i can ring him if it's between 9-5.. Generally my problem is i don't mess up between 9-5.. Seems to be a night time thing.
Which means ringing crisis team, or the people that run the house.. I'm rubbish at explaining stuff to people i don't know.. =/

Think it will just be a case of wait and see if and when i'm next really low..