Triggering (Abuse) - dissociative distress thread

[Pnuemonia[Blue]]

I dissociated at church and started having flashbacks because of the lighting! I had to leave early! I can't last a fricking service. I'm getting so annoyed with it.

[Kitkat :)]

Kathryn stopped me purging last night. Crystal binged, don't know why, but I had to leave Kathryn's friend's kitchen because Kathryn made me as it was making her hurl... Even though I really wanted to.

[l.e.g.o]

Leaves even more hugs
i wish i could do more i really do
love you all

[flying[star]]

purging isnt good for you ayka you know that

[Kitkat :)]

I felt really fat.
Crystal binged madly.

[flying[star]]

ya i know that feelin but one binge doesnt make u fat

[Kitkat :)]

It does, I could actually see the difference.

[flying[star]]

ok so it looks a little weird for about an hour while your digesting but it doesn't actually add any weight

i know it looks like it does somtimes

[Kitkat :)]

I just look so fat and I don't like looking fat. It's not nice.

[Kitkat :)]

Oh I'm so sorry to hear that Plum.

I'd hug you but I don't know how you feel about physical contact.

[flying[star]]

@ayka: i guess i get it really.. i dont like being fat either. not sure if it's the same because of another issue, but i dont think your fat i think your just not seeing yourself proprly cause of the eatin disorder

@plum: im not realy sure what to say, thats horiable that someone did that to you

[flying[star]]

*holds hand*
youres not a bad girl the people who do that to you are the bad ones

[l.e.g.o]

your not bad girl
and you are clean
i promise
holds your hand

[Kitkat :)]

Okay

*holds hand*

You're not a bad girl, he's a bad man for making that happen to you, I promise you you are a nice clean girl.







I am fat fat fat.
I AM HEAVY
And I'm not even sure because the scales went missing in Kathryn's house how heavy.
But I know I'm heavy and fat.

[Kitkat :)]

*offers cookie*

It's alright, everything'll be okay Plum.

[flying[star]]

ayka your not allowed to post the number but i found a calculator and t hats not fat, we weight more and people including kyles boyfriedd worry about us getting any thinner.

plum its sad that all that happend to you

[l.e.g.o]

its ok plum its not real
holds your hand you can squeeze my hand as much as you like to try and get rid of the pain

[flying[star]]

its alright for her to post if she needs to get something out she does

[l.e.g.o]

its fine emma its obviously eating her up
and its safe here

[Kitkat :)]

But you're probably taller than me. I'm not that tall, so that weight that I accidentally posted is a lot.