I don't think you're a jerk.
And I really think that therapy that helps you understand and observe the internal relationship dynamics and their roots and sources, to untangle them, could really help.
Often those parts that push people away the most are the ones who're most hurting.
The headaches, well I find lying down with a lavender wheatie bag over my eyes helpful. Crying's good, too. Or drawing. Basically, relaxing and expressing your feelings, not trying to force for anything.
hey anthropomophic failure what's going on for you is close to what i've experienced recently which is terrifying and i sympathise. i hope these ideas are helpful:
- get your key worker/care coordinator (if you have one) to get you in, voluntarily, to a crisis centre for a few days (or call your local community mental health team if that's a possible option)
- journal what you think she's feeling and ask her if she can share what's getting to her (if you're not co-conscious) and share what's going on for you too
- express the feelings as much as possible as they arise. don't hold onto feelings. get them heard and honoured a.s.a.p. so that she and anyone else gets a chance to be expressed cos they (like the wonderful katie has said) are likely to be hurting and aren't getting their needs met (its often a defensive/protective person who is reacting to something that's triggering. for me it was attachment to someone really important threatened)
- drop everything, crash out, surround yourself with stuff that's really helpful/calming/satisfying/nice and indulge for as long as is needed, doing that regularly when you feel things are on edge.. maybe having a special place (if not the duvet) where you do just that, just for you, sod everyone else cos this is a serious priority
- scream into a duvet or something that is similar so you can vent without triggering the bing bongs out of anyone hearing!... break stuff that's ok to break
- exercise (the opposite i know but can be helpful if possible).. perhaps a run/jog/cycle as this can be helpful internal listening time stimulated by a set of hormones that aren't available under the duvet
my best guess is she needs love, understanding, acceptance and space. that may be really, really hard to take on right now but i'm sharing that from my own experiences
I have only just gotten the guts to post on this thread..
I have been told by many doctors that I have DID, and I did not want to hear it. Who would? But the symptoms have been there since I was a child, and I can't deny the proof that is always there, though I'm not going to say what the proof is. My therapist and I decided that instead of trying to reintegrate my personality, we are going to try to create a system that works, where we all talk to each other so I don't lose so much time, etc. One thing I find very helpful is writing in a journal, and letting my alters write in there. It is a good way for us to communicate. As for the headaches, I try to sleep them off.
It's very difficult to have, and I am scared, but trying my best to manage. I could write more, but I've rambled long enough.
Welcome to the thread, Megan. :)
It sounds like you're on the right track there. Good for you.
You're right, it's not easy! I'm not quite as far along on the dissociative spectrum as DID, and it's no picnic!
Making connections can be liberating though...
What's aching?
Holding the sense of myself as a grown up, an adult.
I've never really been able to see myself as an adult.
I am starting to now. Starting to catch the 'switching'.
It aches slightly less after today's therapy session. Thankfully.
hi Katie. i'm really sorry things are rough for you right now. i'm not sure of what to say but i want to offer the warmth and comfort i wish for you. you are such a lovely person and what you endure is so unfair
welcome Megan. i hope you find good things here. brilliant that you have what sounds like a good therapist
hey everyone
sorry things are such a struggle katie
ash just had the dream that signals a periodmof chaos in our system...
*takes a deep preparation breath*
I think I am dissociating most of the time lately. I have written down how I feel and what happens so I can show it to my psychiatrist but it's really horrible. I wish I would just feel more awake and less like I was watching my life from a window. That's literally how it is. Nothing registers with my brain, learning at college is really hard for me too. I want it to go away. Please?
one of the biggest deals for folks with dissociative experiences in recent years is the use of Mindfulness. it can be pretty awesome and yet its really simple. the more you do it, the more it works basically
sorry i don't understand much about my dissociative experiences... they have been normal for me since i was a child... but still very confusing. i think it's hard for me to understand because i can't find the vocabulary to explain what is going on, and also i forget a lot of what is happening when i am dissociating, especially to do with emotions. all i can say is things often feel white and foggy.
