Would you be able to ask this person directly if they are annoyed? I know that could be quite scary though. Do you think you would manage ok on the train? Make sure you're doing what's best for you with the options you have even though they are limited.
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
I messaged my ISVA on Wednesday (who can't be there because its a different city and they won't let her, I'll meet someone else on the day) to see what she thinks and she hasn't replied.
I dont want to go inconveniencing anyone. Me going alone on the train, achieves that.
if you think you know me in real life, no you don't.
it seems like the concept of not being a bother or not inconveniencing anyone else actually makes things more difficult for you and leaves you without needed support though. it's of course your call to make. just seems like it might be worth challenging that mentality to not have to go through all of this, even if just the travel, alone.
Please do not give me virtual hugs unless you are only using the hug function on threads. Thanks.
You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.
I was talking to my friend about work and how even though its really shit atm, its something constant and consistent and with everything going on in the next few weeks/months, its not the time to go changing that.
She then asked who I was going with (as I'd told her not to worry about coming and that it was sorted), and I said I was going to go alone on the train as to not put anyone out and she's said absolutely not, she is coming with me end of.
Last edited by Ahimsa : 17-12-2024 at 12:31 AM.
if you think you know me in real life, no you don't.
I'm really glad you have a supportive friend and that she brought that up with you. I take it you're going to accept her support? I hope it takes away at least a little bit of the stress. You deserve support.
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
I feel so bad though, because they won't change the time (and I can't stay overnight the night before because a) of my pets and b) it's a tough anniversary, I need to be in my safe space, not a random hotel) - we're having to leave at 7am.
I feel bad putting that on someone.
if you think you know me in real life, no you don't.
that's their decision to make though whether they are okay with coming under those time constraints and conditions or not. that's not up to you to decide for them.
Please do not give me virtual hugs unless you are only using the hug function on threads. Thanks.
You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.
4 weeks until court day - I haven't had anything to officially confirm the time or when I need to be there etc.
my therapy has finished, and my therapist is still off (and we don't know if/when she'll be back) but if I try get anything booked in with someone else, I'm going to have to start again from the very beginning to explain everything, which will take at least 1 session and it isn't cheap! I don't want to waste money on a session with someone else if she may be back in a few weeks, but also she may not be)
I can't have anything else funded for 12 months, and then I can reapply (but this block of 12 sessions, took 2 years from applying to actually getting any support). So I'm a bit stuck.
if you think you know me in real life, no you don't.
That's a difficult situation. Would you be able to set a number of weeks that you think you can wait to see if your therapist comes back and then after that try and find someone else?
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
so saying this knowing therapy works different in your country to here. so it may not be similar.
but if the therapist human who is off works someplace where it is a larger practice or there is an assistant or even any kind of general contact info - there SHOULD have a way of contacting the therapist even when she is off to allow for help with a transition. especially if she is off and have clients that need to get other therapists and resources.
basically if you want to try a new therapist human, give them your previous therapist humans info, and she can reach out to them, and she should hopefully be able to get in touch with the previous one for a quick consult and for her to summarize what's going on and basics so you don't have to try to do it all on your own.
that's a thing that our therapist human was able to still do even when she was off of work and not practicing, because it was called "coordination of care" and it's not something that's super time consuming for them. it's part of their ethical duty to do, again, here in the US.
again saying this knowing stuff in your country works totally different. but it could be worth looking into or asking about? at the very least maybe worth trying to ask to find out if she even is planning on coming back so you can help make some plans for moving forward.
uncertainty is seriously the worst and that's so crappy that it's coming from your therapist human of all people when they should be someone to rely on and trust. so sorry that yet again, you're being so let down by so many people and services you deserve.
Please do not give me virtual hugs unless you are only using the hug function on threads. Thanks.
You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.
so saying this knowing therapy works different in your country to here. so it may not be similar.
but if the therapist human who is off works someplace where it is a larger practice or there is an assistant or even any kind of general contact info - there SHOULD have a way of contacting the therapist even when she is off to allow for help with a transition. especially if she is off and have clients that need to get other therapists and resources.
basically if you want to try a new therapist human, give them your previous therapist humans info, and she can reach out to them, and she should hopefully be able to get in touch with the previous one for a quick consult and for her to summarize what's going on and basics so you don't have to try to do it all on your own.
that's a thing that our therapist human was able to still do even when she was off of work and not practicing, because it was called "coordination of care" and it's not something that's super time consuming for them. it's part of their ethical duty to do, again, here in the US.
again saying this knowing stuff in your country works totally different. but it could be worth looking into or asking about? at the very least maybe worth trying to ask to find out if she even is planning on coming back so you can help make some plans for moving forward.
uncertainty is seriously the worst and that's so crappy that it's coming from your therapist human of all people when they should be someone to rely on and trust. so sorry that yet again, you're being so let down by so many people and services you deserve.
Thank you.
Unfortunately not, I was only ever given 12 sessions, (11 and a debrief) which I have had, I just had to have the debrief with her supervisor. Her actual patients have been assigned to other people, but I'm not classed as that.
She's also off with a bereavement, so isn't contactable. Basically I had asked if I could have her contact details so I could have some private (paid) sessions with her, and she said she'd be able to send them at the end of my sessions. Her bereavement was after session 11. It's absolutely not her fault :( Her supervisor at the debrief said she would ask her to get in touch with me when she is back. I emailed the supervisor today to ask if she'd heard anything in terms of a return date, and she hasn't.
if you think you know me in real life, no you don't.
I don't think you can really overreact to anything in the situation you are in. How you feel is how you feel. Do you want to talk about how you're feeling?
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
In 22 days, I have to watch back the video of me giving my initial evidence.
In 24 days is the 9 year anniversary of losing my Grandad. It still hurts. It hurts that I wasn't here. It hurts that I was with him. It hurts that I can't separate this and that I can't grieve.
In 25 days, I have to go to court to be cross examined. I've already been warned, they will be brutal.
if you think you know me in real life, no you don't.
That is so much. I'm really sorry you're going through all this. I really hope that you get through things ok and have as positive an outcome as it can be and you can have lots of better things for the rest of your year.
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
I won't have an outcome until the trial in September unfortunately- this is just my cross examination that is being video'd in advance so I don't have to be in a courtroom with him.
if you think you know me in real life, no you don't.
