Feeling quite down and weak today but powering through. My dog might have cancer which is terrifying me and mum and I can't decide on whether to have a biopsy done or just wait and see. I'm not sure I can stand the stress of the wait and see school of thought as the cancer could spread in that time if that's what it is and not knowing is killing me, but then do we really want to put her through a procedure under anaesthetic that she may well not need?
'Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.'
['There is only one thing we say to death. Not today'.']
'We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell. Oscar Wilde
Its hard to dance with the devil on your back. Sydney Carter
It can be hard when a pet's ill. I remember when my dog had cancer and it was so, so difficult. It's a tough decision and you never can be sure whether you've made the right one. The way my family worked through it was by forgetting about our grievances and simply focussing upon my dog. It was hard because sometimes we had to go against what we wanted because we loved her, but it was in my dog's best interests.
Hugs. It's a horrible place to be and I'm sorry you're stuck in it at the moment. Is there anything particular thats caused the want to harm?
Can you sit back and think about how you might feel in a few days time if you do cut...or even later on tonight? Realistically, we know it's not going to solve anything and on top of that, it potentially could make you feel even worse later on...
Can you usee that technique where you keep putting it off, tell yourself, i can harm in 30 minutes and then when that time comes, try and put it off for another 30 minutes or so...?
Talk here, it's much better than harming yourself
x
sticks and stones may break your bones but words can tear your heart out.
Yes, it is pretty darn hard, I hear that and can relate. I hope you will be able to enjoy yourself, even if just a little bit, during your friends Bday.
you can and most importantly WILL get through this. I believe in you. Keep reaching out for support and I hope that with time, you can build something internal that will be able to help get you through the rough patches.
sticks and stones may break your bones but words can tear your heart out.
I'm actually feeling pretty okay today, a little anxious but what's new!! My dog's blood tests etc came up clear although her calcium is leaning to the high side of normal so that's good, I'm taking her back in a month just to double check the mass the vet found hasn't grown, waiting is making me very anxious but both the vet and parents say it's highly unlikely it's cancer because the blood work was clear, it's just that I can't shake off that if it IS cancer then we'll have given it another month to spread before it's treated. I know it's weird to compare but I think I just struggle with the word cancer in general after watching both my granddads die of it.
'Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.'
['There is only one thing we say to death. Not today'.']
'We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell. Oscar Wilde
Its hard to dance with the devil on your back. Sydney Carter
I'm glad your feeling a bit better today, that's really good. And I'm glad she's got clear bloods, must be a relief for all of you. Try not to worry about what it could be (easier said than done I know) but just enjoy the time you've got with her, what happens happens even if it's not good news (but I really hope it is!) worrying won't change that
You're doing really well, lots of people are muchly proud of you
There will always be a happy ending. If its not happy then its not yet the end.
sending u massive hugs hun. I didnt realise how bad things have been. You need to stay out of there but not at the expense of your life! Im here if u wanna chat. Was that PC that discharged you like that? Im discusted with their comment!
You are doing really fantastically, Katy. I can see why it would be hard when cancer took both of your Grandads but that doesn't mean it will happen again. The bloods are clear and the vet will know what s/he is talking about. It's difficult not to worry but try not to - I realise that's not even remotely helpful.
I'm glad that you're feeling slightly better today.
