i did ring her and she coming out to see me this afternoon as i go away on monday when she wanted to come, she couldnt believe that i had recieved more messages and that the other officers hadnt taken it seriously. she said she can understand me being scared and she said that she would make sure im safe.
im going to try and relax as much as i can when im away, i think i just need to get away from here too.
sorry not been around. glad to hear from you again :) good, so glad told the lady police officer and she's takin it more seriously, she should since she knows lots more than the other officers. really hope bein away from place where been hurt and and havin a holiday will help you :) *hugs* keep docs informed too <3
Every day the world is made a chance to change but i feel the same.
And I wonder why would i wait till i die to come alive?"
All alone the way she feels
Left alone to deal with all the pain-drenched sorrow relief
sorry i wasnt on yesterday i had a really bad day. i met the the police officer on saturday and showed her all the messages and she was shocked and disappointed in the other officers, shes going to look into them further and see what she can do to get them stopped.
im supposed to be going away today which i was really looking forward too until the voices started telling me not to go, they keep saying bad things will happen, im scared i am, but i want and need to go i need to get away from here. i just want to feel safe for a bit.
my head is so muddled up right now i feel like im loosing it completely, my thoughts are bad the urges so intense and voices just constant, i just need it all to stop.
i am going away today i dont care what the voices are saying i need this break *nods*
im back now got back yesterday, i had a nice time away and didnt really want to come home but had too, i felt safe when i was away which was so nice i could relax more.
im feeling very on edge at the moment and not liking being back here one bit, but i guess i'll get used to it again.
the voices are slowly getting better although at times they still scream at me and want me to hurt myself but i try my hardest to fight them, i just want them gone completely now so i can start to get better.
i got more messages whilst i was away, they are really scaring me now. im scared that its all gonna start over again, im meeting with the police lady on thursday and im gonna tell her how scared i am i think.
why did i have to come home
It's good to hear from you again. I'm glad you were able to relax while you were away. I know it's hard to face coming back; is there any way you can plan another small vacation soon? Just something for you to look forward to?
I'm sorry you've had more messages, but I am glad you're meeting with the police woman. What are the messages saying to you? I think it's a good idea to explain how scared your are about the messages - I'm sure she'll understand.
It's good the voices are lessening slightly...I hope it means this dose of medication is starting to work. I know it's frustrating but it does take time for things to stop.
i cant go away to my friends now until october time because she has a lot of commitments, but hopefully i will go away again then, shes coming to stay with me for a bit at the end of the month which will be nice.
the messages are disgusting they say about what they go to do to me when they get me and how they go make me pay. im so scared i dont want this to happen again
yeah i really hope this medication keeps working and the voices stop completely, it makes me quite sleepy though but i hope once im used to it more that will pass.
im feeling very low just now and quite triggered, i think being back home has made that worse, but im trying to hang in there even though its hard.
I'm glad your friend is visiting soon; I hope it gives you something to look forward to. Try to use it as a reason to keep going.
I know the messages are horrible darling and I know how scared you must be; but the police will protect you darling. It won't happen again *hugs*
The sedation effects will fade over time; but for now I'm glad they're showing some signs of working. Do you have another appointment with your doctor coming up again soon?
All anyone can expect is for you to keep trying, you're doing so well honey.
thank you for your kind words Katie they mean a lot.
im low on words today and feeling like crap as i had two more messages overnight which have knocked me off my feet. im meeting with the police lady today and i hope she can sort this out, cause im scared really scared.
Make sure you make it clear how much the messages are affecting you darling. I hope the police woman is able to put things in place to keep you safe and stop them doing this to you. You really don't deserve this.
i met with the police lady and told her how scared i was and that it felt like it was starting all over again, and she was really nice and assured me that she wouldnt let me get hurt anymore. she told yesterday that one of the girls is due to be released from prison in a couple of weeks, im really scared about that what if its her who sending messages or someone on her behalf? im really scared i am.
i also had a really bad day with the voices yesterday, they were just screaming at me constantly, i am really struggling to cope right now and i cant take much more of this.
*massive hugs*
Not complaining darling. We are here to support you.
I'm glad the police woman was helpful and reassured you. I know it's scary to think of the person being released but you don't know who it is that's sending you them right now. I'm sure the police will do everything in their power to stop you being hurt again.
Do you know what the police are going to do about the messages? It might help you to know what action is going to be taken rather than them just to leave you in the dark.
Sorry the voices are so bad. I wish I had more words.
i had a really bad day yesterday with voices and bad thoughts and urges and i really struggled with fighting them, but i managed to not harm self . im feeling really low and depressed just now and these messages are really getting to me badly, at the moment the police are still trying to trace who is sending them, theyre being sent from an unregistered phone so its hard to trace. but they have promised me they will not give up until they find who's sending them. until then i have just got to save all messages and show them.
i just want it all over with now cause i cant cope with this anymore, i feel like im cracking up and losing it.
not in a good place right now and low on words. these messages are finishing me off i cant take no more, im so scared.
just want my life to be over i cant live like this, and the voices are really strong atm too and urges are bad. i just want it all to go away, i want peace.
really struggling and not coping to well just now, but i'll keep trying to fight, yes Katie in it together *holds your hand*
ive not updated the police yet she not on duty until tomorrow, the messages are coming in every day now and getting more disgusting and horrible. but i think i now know who's sending them and its not good and im really scared, i will speak to the police tomorrow.
my head is all over the place right now im having bad bad thoughts and the urges are really strong, im storing tablets now too, i just need a way out of this. the voices are telling me to hurt self again and im struggling to fight them, maybe it'll be easier to do what they want.
