Yeah, I definitely know what you mean about it being hard.
Well, here's what happened...it's probably pretty triggering, so I'll put it in a hide box.
The following content has been hidden - Reason : Triggering (SI)
I'll try and condense this. Something had happened while I was out with my friends, and I was really upset when I got home. I ended up cutting kinda deeply. This is hard to explain... When I cut...I saw white. And this represented what I realized at that point. I didn't see the blood, I only saw the white. And I didn't feel the pain. I couldn't think. All I could say was "oh my god, oh my god, oh my god" over and over and over and over and over. I wasn't just saying an empty phrase, it was a pure raw cry out to God. And there was nothing. White, emptiness, silence. I prayed but I didn't feel anything. I believed, but I finally stopped because I didn't have a reason. There was no answer to my immense pain that night. That's what made me rethink my faith.
I know what u r saying. I just dont have many words at the moment.
I havent been here for quite sometime with school and everything.
I havent self harmed for nearly eight months now.
Im confused, lost and torn.
I think im finding it hard because i feel all alone at this time of year and because of problems that i had in my past, i dont really know.
I still am finding it hard to talk to God, go to church, read the bible and pray though.
I dont know why i am so confused.
I havent gone to church for awhile now, or to the girls church connect group that i am in. I dont know why. Maybe because i am afraid, i dont know. I really dont.
"go ahead and hate your neighbor. Go ahead and cheat a friend. Do it in the name of Heaven- you can justify it in the end."
It strikes interestingly with me because I'm finding that a lot of old friends in the church totally treat me like crap and force this forgiveness on me, instead of asking for it expecting it. i'm tired of being treated like crap.
Think about it in context. It is from a song called "One Tin Soldier" which is an antiwar song.
It is not in anyway saying that you can justify it by doing it in the name of Heaven. It's saying that people do it in the name of Heaven, that they can do it for this or that. That doesn't make it right - it's almost a taunt. It's a warning.
"When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place." - Anon
"When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. " - FDR
I need to publicly apologize.
I was in a high stress situation yesterday, it was a hard anniversary of something personal... It was really weighing on my mind, and I was distracted, and I most definitely spoke out of line. I meant the things I said, but the way I said them was highly inappropriate. It doesn't matter that I spoke the truth, because if I do not speak in love, I am just a noisy cymbal or a clanging gong.
So I am really sorry if I offended anyone, the manner in which I spoke was not right. I was definitely not reflecting Christ in the way I handled that.
Please accept my humble apology.
Man, I wish I were on when everyone else seems to be... if you're ever on around 00:00 - 02:00 EST, IM me. :D
Loneliness really sucks sometimes. I try to convince myself that I need no one and it's better off this way, but sometimes I think it would be nice to have a live person to talk too-- and one that actually talks back to me. (Not that I'd want God to audibly talk back to me, I'm probably freak out and run away. LOL).
We all wear masks, and the time comes when we cannot remove them without removing some of our own skin. ~André Berthiaume
I've been having a really hard time lately, don't want to go into details though. Family worries etc. I'd appreciate any prayers and support that you have to give. Thanks. *hugs everyone*
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
I need to publicly apologize.
I was in a high stress situation yesterday, it was a hard anniversary of something personal... It was really weighing on my mind, and I was distracted, and I most definitely spoke out of line. I meant the things I said, but the way I said them was highly inappropriate. It doesn't matter that I spoke the truth, because if I do not speak in love, I am just a noisy cymbal or a clanging gong.
So I am really sorry if I offended anyone, the manner in which I spoke was not right. I was definitely not reflecting Christ in the way I handled that.
Please accept my humble apology.
Think about it in context. It is from a song called "One Tin Soldier" which is an antiwar song.
It is not in anyway saying that you can justify it by doing it in the name of Heaven. It's saying that people do it in the name of Heaven, that they can do it for this or that. That doesn't make it right - it's almost a taunt. It's a warning.
yeah i definitely got the taunt and the warning from it, i didnt feel like it was giving me permission but it made me think about how much people including me pretty much do that.
Man, I wish I were on when everyone else seems to be... if you're ever on around 00:00 - 02:00 EST, IM me. :D
Loneliness really sucks sometimes. I try to convince myself that I need no one and it's better off this way, but sometimes I think it would be nice to have a live person to talk too-- and one that actually talks back to me. (Not that I'd want God to audibly talk back to me, I'm probably freak out and run away. LOL).
yeah loneliness can suck. we definitely weren't meant to walk through life alone. sorry hon. you are not alone here. do you have a youth/college group near you with people?
"I believe in God...even when he's silent" unknown
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: home
I am currently:
I just found this thread and I must say, I'm SOOO happy that it was made. I LOVE it. I'm also a Christian. I consider myself non-denominational and I was saved at the age of ten; started cutting right after my 14th birthday and am currently recovering. hehe...just a little information about myself. Well, hopefully later I will have time to catch up on the conversation being had here....but for now.....I will talk to you all later.
I need to publicly apologize.
I was in a high stress situation yesterday, it was a hard anniversary of something personal... It was really weighing on my mind, and I was distracted, and I most definitely spoke out of line. I meant the things I said, but the way I said them was highly inappropriate. It doesn't matter that I spoke the truth, because if I do not speak in love, I am just a noisy cymbal or a clanging gong.
So I am really sorry if I offended anyone, the manner in which I spoke was not right. I was definitely not reflecting Christ in the way I handled that.
Please accept my humble apology.
I just found this thread and I must say, I'm SOOO happy that it was made. I LOVE it. I'm also a Christian. I consider myself non-denominational and I was saved at the age of ten; started cutting right after my 14th birthday and am currently recovering. hehe...just a little information about myself. Well, hopefully later I will have time to catch up on the conversation being had here....but for now.....I will talk to you all later.
~peace
Welcome! it's always nice to have new people here.
I like your username, but I wonder if they'll let you keep it... I remember a few months ago someone's username had a reference to God/Jesus in it & they made her change it...
This is something I am struggling with right now. I am considering asking a professor as he always opens the floor to questions before class begins (Christian college) but I don't want to open myself up like that.
There are many Scripture references about honoring your mother and father. Ephesians 6:1, Colossians 3:20, and many others in the OT and NT alike.
However, what if your parents are your abusers? Certainly you should no longer allow yourself to live in an abusive environment? I no longer have contact with either parent due to their abusiveness. Where does that leave me with regards to Christianity?
"When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place." - Anon
"When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. " - FDR
rustedchains: i'm sorry you went through that and i would say that you did absolutely the right thing moving away from your parents. it's not good for you to be in an abusive environment.
i understand these texts as meaning we should respect our parents in as much as what they do is lawful and virtuous - we have no duty to let them misuse us in any way. and if what's best for you is to be completely out of contact i think that is understandable.
i was reading about one of the desert fathers yesterday, a hermit who completely severed contact with the world, even his mother. i know your situation is different, but it still comes back to doing what is best for our road to salvation.
that said, i would hope that if they needed you in the future, you would be able to forgive them and go to their aid. the same monk, on hearing that his mother was in debt, worked three times as hard to be able to pay her debtors and to fulfil the command to honour his parents. again, he had suffered no wrong at the hands of his mother but God does ask us to love our enemies after all. it is a lot for God to ask of us but it's not impossible.
hope i helped, i hope you'll get better replies with a bit more Christian reference! i'm not very good with bible quotes, apologies.
I agree with waiting in the dark, you definitely need to get out of any enviroment that's not good for you.
The way I look at it is, "honor" is something that you to give to a person because they've rightfully earned it. Honoring your parents is (usually) because they're the ones who've raised, taught, clothed, sheltered, and loved you; if your parents aren't doing those things, why do they deserve honor? Maybe I'm wrong, but that's the way I've always viewed it-- maybe because my parents, (who are also Christians) always told me that respect and honor has to be earned, just like trust.
God doesn't want us to hurt, it says that Jesus came to give us life more abundant-- if that's the "life" that I'm living at this moment, I'm not sure if I want more of it-- but, I'm hoping in faith that it's the life he has planned for me; one that I've not reached yet.
We all wear masks, and the time comes when we cannot remove them without removing some of our own skin. ~André Berthiaume
I've been a Christian since I was 11 and started self harming when I was 16
My friend's mum knows about it, she's like a second mum to me and lectures me all the time, saying it's really bad and that I'm upsetting God and that
I don't do it to upset him though, it's just what I turn to straight away if you get what I mean
Has anyone else had any similar experiences?
I May Be Going Broke But I'm Never Broken Down
Less Than Jake <3
16.06.10 - The Day He Saved My Life
Love You Baban
<3
![[Fog]'s Avatar](images/avatars/12 - Copy.gif)
