woah salanna I just read that thread, that is incredible. So many promises made at Christian camps last until the end of the camp but it is inspiring to see you still have the faith and trust in God to carry that on. He is truly working in you and through you, he has got some incredible plans for you in your life and its so exciting to be able to see just through this thread that you know he does and you're excited by it. You really have renewed my hope in beating this and coming out a child of God.
'The nights of crying your eyes out give way to the days of laughter' Psalm 30 v 5
I read that thread and you just put everything into perspective. I am in fact putting my self injury before God, therefore breaking the first commandment...I've got to do some thinking...But before I do, I just want to say something. I've only just kind of joined this thread and you guys have already helped a LOT by just talking with you and reading what you others say. Also, what helps is that you understand, all my other Christian friends don't understand what I go through since they don't hurt themselves. Just thanks.
Hey, I never knew about a Christian SI-ers thread!
allow me to introduce myself properly:
I'm Pamela, 18 years old, from Holland.
I wasn't raised a Christian and I don't read the Bible. Reading it frustrates me, because I'm a horrible reader and I find it difficult to understand. I don't go to church, because I believe and interpretate the stories in the Bible (people have read it to me, because I lack reading-skills big time) in a different way than other people would. I've been judged so often for my actions and belief by Christians, that I just don't like being around those hypocrites (Of course, not everyone is like that... but the ones I've hung around with are, I'm sorry) I do believe in God and Jesus though, I do pray every day, I just believe in a different way than many of you do.
I am now almost one year and 7 months SI-free and I thank God for that. I have been a cutter for 9 months and during that period I let both Satan and God get closer to me. Satan tried to take over my life, it somewhat worked, I cut because I was addicted to the feeling, but it brought me closer to God, because I prayed to God every day, asking him to help me and free me of my misery. Eventually I got the help I needed in the form of my parents finding out about me cutting myself and I stopped and never intentionally bled again.
I feel bad, now that I look back upon it. I mean, I sort of destroyed God's work. Would He be mad at me for doing so? I asked for forgiveness, so I guess it should be fine, but still... It's not right, right? Is it the same in God's eyes as smoking and drinking? Because that's destroying your body as well, right?
dose anyone know any christian forums that are not homophobic
i am a member of a few christian forums but they all seem to be homophobic
witch i find there views to be upsetting saying things like homosexuals are as bad as child abusers .
Hey Pamela, thanks for sharing your story and a big well done to you for being SI free for so long, I'm very impressed. I know what you mean about sort of interpreting things differently. I have been a Christian all my life, my dad's a vicar so I've always been surrounded by it all. But as I've got older I have started to question all of the rigid rules. I personally think that the rules are to do with "religion" - the human part of it. All the problems like hypocrisy and so on and to do with people and not with God. So I kind of think of it as more that I have a faith, I pray a lot but I'm not strict and I get criticised for that but there we go. Sorry I explained that really badly.
In answer to your question I don't believe that God would be mad at you for SI. He knows everything and so He knows why you were doing it and what you were going through to make you need that. Remember God loves you and He will forgive you no matter what. So if you've already asked for forgiveness - it's already in the past for Him.
I wish I could take my own advice!!
Serenity I don't know of any I'm afraid but I hope you find a better one. All that homophobe stuff makes me so angry. As Christians we are supposed to love everyone like God does and be tolerant because who are we to judge? So I don't understand how some Christians can be so intolerant.
Sorry to keep asking everyone stuff .... is there anyone who is willing to help me out a little via PM's .. just imn getting baptised in 4 days and i still got a few questions and worrys and stuff .. im too scared to ask the minister :(
Thanks
Take care x
We Never Said Goodbye ; We Said See You Later
Cos One Day We'll Meet Again
Unil Then You My Shining Stars
Rest In Peace - Nan ; Grandad ; Jamie ; Ian ; Micheal ; Edward ; Dorren <3 x
So, I don't exactly belong in here, but I would like to ask someone a question or two. I don't mean it as an offensive/argument starting sort of thing in any way, so please don't take it as such.
I was raised in church, and my dad is a pastor, so I believed in God and such from a young age. As of a year ago though, I do not anymore.
My question is simply this: how does God help you with your SI, or help you cope with bad things in general?
Woop my dad's a vicar too Has it's pros and cons don't you think. I think it makes your own faith particularly hard to work out. Personally I believe in Christianity as a faith and I pray a lot but I'm not into all the rules and I'm not strict with it. To be honest I'm kind of in a mess with my faith as with everything else, my mind's so muddled all the time I'm not really sure how to answer your question. But it's always a comfort to me to know that God loves me no matter what, and that He knows what I'm going through.
Holly my faith gives me hope when things look pitch black. It gives me a reason to try when i fail. It tells me that I am loved by the maker of the universe when i feel unloveable
Then wear the gold hat, if that will move her;
If you can bounce high, bounce for her too,
Till she cry "Lover, gold-hatted, high-bouncing lover,
I must have you!"
Thomas Parke D’Invilliers
As rotten of a mood as I'm in right now I may not have the best answer.
The only answer I really have, or actually ever have, is that God is there to comfort you and pick you up when you feel awful and can't keep going. It sounds so ambiguous and detached but it's not until you feel it in a real way that it comes alive and you understand it's not just empty words, it's a real person, a real God, who cares about you individually. It changes everything.
Woop my dad's a vicar too Has it's pros and cons don't you think. I think it makes your own faith particularly hard to work out. Personally I believe in Christianity as a faith and I pray a lot but I'm not into all the rules and I'm not strict with it. To be honest I'm kind of in a mess with my faith as with everything else, my mind's so muddled all the time I'm not really sure how to answer your question. But it's always a comfort to me to know that God loves me no matter what, and that He knows what I'm going through.
Yes, it most definitely has its pros and cons. In a way I wish I hadn't grown up with that so engrained in me, because it has made it a lot harder to figure out what I really believe, and what I've simply been tought to believe.
Quote:
Originally Posted by banana89
Ps I wasn't sure whether to put that in our PMs or not lol hope you don't mind!
Nah, it's fine :)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Beautiful Letdown
Holly my faith gives me hope when things look pitch black. It gives me a reason to try when i fail. It tells me that I am loved by the maker of the universe when i feel unloveable
Ok. Thanks for the reply.
The reason I ask is because an SI incident was the point that I stopped believing in God.
Yeah definitely, it's hard to work out what I really believe in when I've grown up in a church environment and religion is so important. And it's easy to confuse not believing in it with wanting to be different to my parents, I had that a couple of years back in my rebel phase hehe. How long ago was the incident?
And if you don't mind me asking how come it stopped you believing in God? When I SI I often feel really distant and find myself wondering if He's real. It's so hard
Yeah, I definitely know what you mean about it being hard.
Well, here's what happened...it's probably pretty triggering, so I'll put it in a hide box.
The following content has been hidden - Reason : Triggering (SI)
I'll try and condense this. Something had happened while I was out with my friends, and I was really upset when I got home. I ended up cutting kinda deeply. This is hard to explain... When I cut...I saw white. And this represented what I realized at that point. I didn't see the blood, I only saw the white. And I didn't feel the pain. I couldn't think. All I could say was "oh my god, oh my god, oh my god" over and over and over and over and over. I wasn't just saying an empty phrase, it was a pure raw cry out to God. And there was nothing. White, emptiness, silence. I prayed but I didn't feel anything. I believed, but I finally stopped because I didn't have a reason. There was no answer to my immense pain that night. That's what made me rethink my faith.
I know that feeling. Sometimes I feel so much in pain and so alone with it. Especially when I'm cutting I just feel distant from everyone, in particular God. I find it so hard to pray. It's like my insides go numb. Actually if I think about it it's been a while since I've prayed properly and not just because. I don't know. I'm confused now. I believe He's out there but it's all so jumbled in my head I don't know. I find it hard to tell what's my depression talking and what's reality.
I don't know why God doesn't answer some prayers. But I know he listens, I know he cares, and he loves us, but somehow he knows best and really does still love us. I used to not really believe in prayer until sometime last year. I mean I kind of figured yeah, I should pray, but I never believed it really did anything. It's kind of a weird story, and people might not believe me, so if anybody really does want to know PM me and I'll relay it over that way.
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