Thanks guys.
He was more than a pet. He was my Dylan. My best friend. He was amazing.
I had a nightmare I lost him last night. Then I woke up.
I had a nightmare today I lost him... I don't think I am going to wake up this time.
I'm sorry your all struggling guys, stay safe. Thinking of you all. Take care xx
Here's the day you hoped would never come,
Don't feed me violins, just run with me
through rows of speeding cars.
21 on the run, on the run, on the run
From myself, from myself and everyone
I better leave the light on
The darkness, The sweetness, The sadness, The weakness,
O, I need this
Hi, I'm Roli Take Care, Stay Safe, Shout if you need anything
Hi all, *hugs* to everyone that needs them. Hope your all holding up ok.
Just a quick update....... Told the crisis team today about my plans to end it all. Handed in my pills. They are meeting me again tomorrow and taking me out for coffee. Nice of them. Hasn't taken away the thoughts or feelings but had made them less powerful..... A bit at least!
"I may be laying in the gutter but I'm staring up at the stars"
Just read the last few pages of this thread, and I wanted to leave massive hugs for all <3
(I apologize for using usernames, I don't really know people's real names on here...)
Doctor Colbertface - I too often find myself wishing other people didn't care, but perhaps you should instead look at it as a reason to keep pushing through all this, and to not give up. You do deserve their concern, as much as you feel you do not. Likely it's the depression/mental health condition that's influencing you to believe you're undeserving, whereas you truly are. <3
Muchlove - Super congrats! I'm sure that telling them about your plans and giving them the pills was hard to do, but I assure you that it will be worth it. I'm glad you're feeling a bit better at the moment. The crisis team is giving you proof that people do care about you. <3
getting_by - Sending you my deepest sympathy for your loss. I have yet to go through what you're experiencing right now, and I dread the day I will. But I do understand the connection you had, and in your heart you always will have, with Dylan. Right now he's looking down at you from pet heaven, dear. Do you have anyone who can support you during this time? You do deserve it, and although it may seem impossible at the moment, you can make it through this in time. <3
Heaven Knows - There was a reason it didn't work the other day, and you owe it to yourself to stick around here and find it. I understand how dark things may look now, but I promise you they will not look that dark forever. Is there anyone in real life who knows about your plans and/or attempt? I strongly encourage you to tell someone, as you deserve support and shouldn't have to suffer like this alone. <3
Charmed - You don't have to apologize, you certainly aren't the only one who's made a mistake like that. What matters is that you're still here, and that you're talking to us, so there must be a glimmer of hope inside. Please hold onto that hope - things will eventually get better. And you don't always have to be supportive of others 24/7. You can offer support when you feel up to it, and you feel like you have enough support yourself. We all experience our really down moments, and honestly, although it may sound selfish, we should put ourselves first in those crisis moments. So don't feel so bad, dear. <3
out of ashes - A doctor or medication might be able to help with more than just depression and suicidal ideation. I strongly encourage you to look into seeing someone. Plus, if they can help ease the depression and suicidal thoughts, then the other issues in your life will likely become easier to deal with. Would you mind explaining a bit to us about what these other issues are? Perhaps we can guide you in the right direction. <3
DriftedAway - As you didn't post specifically about yourself on this page, I'm having difficulty recalling exactly what you've been struggling with lately, but I wish you the best in getting through it. You're much loved. <3
And to those of you I haven't addressed directly (I just stuck to the current page), please try to put yourself in the company someone who cares or make a call to a crisis line. You all deserve to be here and to experience the happy lives your were meant to live (as crazy as that may sound right now!).
Last edited by silent_scars11 : 02-01-2012 at 12:10 AM.
Reason: Only bolded the first name, sorry!
"It's not a dream anymore. It's worth fighting for."
"Well, if it's not real you can't hold it in your hands
You can't feel it with your heart
And I won't believe it.
But if it's true
You can see it with your eyes
Oh, even in the dark
And that's where I want to be, yeah" - Paramore
I'm breaking. and I just want it to matter to someone. But at the same time i dont.. does that even make sense? :s I wanna drink more but know i shouldnt. Wanna just die.
The following content has been hidden - Reason : ramble vent type thing
Few hours ago... three people showed up in car to my house. one had a gun. one my sisters ran out and jumped in car and it started backing out. my dad ran out. so did i some jack ass almost ran me into me. cars were backed up and police came. she set this up! my sister did. she was gonna runaway with them and planned to never come back :'( I love her so much. But Im mad at her now. I was shaking like crazy and... it was really scary. still have no clue who they were. we safe now and everything. still not calm entirely from it. i feel like total crap and feeling like this doesnt help! I txted someone from school and she was insensitive and laughing and joking bout it. what the fuck? how is anythat funny!?
may i have hug? thats all want really want please
silent scars.... i struggle with almost everything. details dont matter though i think. i hope youre ok.
sammy... i care and will listen to what you have to say.
katy... keep fighting. dont let others win. pm me if eer wanna talk
Last edited by Frail Existence : 02-01-2012 at 01:51 AM.
Reason: hide didnt work
These kicks take me far away my dear; Far away from myself Far away from my troubles
Far away from heaven
I don't know that I want to end my life so much as I just want the feeling of escape. I want to feel like I don't have to be here and living this life. It's like I need an escape clause to the life I'm living. I'm seriously considering running away and starting over. In a sense, I'd be living a different life. I just wish I had the money to do so. Then again, it would be almost impossible to completely cut ties. I just wish I wasn't so afraid of death...
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin’ with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken
Take Care, Stay Safe, Shout if you need anything
