Muchlove. I often feel like a burden and a nuisance to people but like I said we need to get well. And there are people, like your MH nurse, who genuinely care and want to help you get through it. Try to just believe her I know it's hard. Try. You deserve it... Just because you are you and you are valuable. Hugs.
Doctor Colbertface. Are you safe? It sounds like you are really struggling. Concerned about you. Talk to us.
Libz, I'm ok tonight. Made a nice new years dinner for my family and now I'm going to read a book about a girl who's a cutter. It seems to be helping me to know that I'm not alone. But it's a little triggering. I'm hoping my night will be better than last night. I was so much on the edge. I was fighting every minute not to do something very stupid. I even had crisis talk me down at one point. It was bad. I'm scared about the future and what my health is doing. I don't want to die but sometimes it's so overwhelming and powerful, the urge, the pain. I want to escape the pain you know? And I feel like its never-ending and no one understands and no one can help. I keep saying, it's hopeless. I want there to be hope.
hmm struggling to keep myself safe. stuiped thought once again. probley not helped that i have had a drink or two. ugh.
I am scared what this year going to bring, scared everythings going too come crashing down.
Well, the date is set, the time, the circumstances for my death, my friends try to stop me, thinking I'm depressed, but I'm not I just dont want to keep going the way I am.
Take me away, I just want out from this self-imprisoned self-made Hell. Don't be surprsed, this is your mind coming to life by self-sacrifice. This tragedy of death will walk hand in hand with every thought of regret. Blame yourself for what you've become. The mind is a powerful thing set to self-destruct.
~I, Dementia - Whitechapel~
Out of ashes... Pleeeeassse stay safe. <3. Please honey. Just hold on!
Dr Colbertface. Can you go somewhere where you are not alone??
Jdenning. :( not good. When are you planning to do this? Please tell someone. Don't kill yourself. You deserve the chance at a better life, if that's what you want, there is hope. But not if you're dead. Please talk to someone and let them help you.
hmm not sure i want to anymore. this is too hard. fu!k even trying to write stuff out tonight is hard. this is never going to get better, this can't be sorted. sorry guys. i am wasting everyones time. sorry
Oh, it's only 8 o'clock here. Hmm. I'm guessing you're not tired. I went through this last night. I was sooooo beside myself with pain and urges and suicidal thoughts that I was would up like a spring. I had to force myself into bed to sleep. It's not a nice experience. I'm sorry you are going through it. Can you lie in bed and shut your eyes? Hope for sleep to come?
it's nearly 1am here. the urges just get a lot stronger when i am asleep, i should just give into them. sorry don't worry about me, other people deserve help more than me.
i can't take medication due to other medical issues. and i'm supposed to be seeing someone else for talking therapy but the waiting list is too long, it is a sign that i dont deserve to get better and should just dissapear
