Charmed - I'm not feeling brilliant today; I'm just not quite sure how I'm feeling...but I know it isn't good. Yeah, my brother said if I ever need him to call or text and he can help out with money if I need him to. Don't need to apologise for not having words; you're support means a lot. *hugs* You shouldn't feel guilty honey - I'm sure your nan would have wanted you to go out and have fun rather than to be sat there upset. I know it's going to be a hard couple of days but remember we're all here for you <3
ebec11 - It's good to hear from you again, sorry you were feeling so low. How're you feeling now?
88girl - Can you make an appointment with your doctor to discuss your medication? Maybe come up with something else to try to help you? You're not alone.
Hi. Mornings are usually better for me but I slept terribly last night. Then around 3 o'clock it seems my mood and composure plummets and I'm a complete mess. I've been staying safe by calling the crisis centre and talking to people on the support line. I feel absolutely no respect for myself any more. I am having a hard time today functioning normally with people. I should be alone. Yet I shouldn't. Oh well. I don't think I'll ever get better.
How are you Katie?
I'm sorry you aren't feeling good today. Giant squish
How are you Charmed?
Roli?
Thanks for being there for me guys. I'm sorry I haven't been on.
Rachel - I'm sorry you're finding things so hard right now. I've been thinking of you, and worried because I hadn't heard much from you <3 I'm glad you've come on to update. It's good you're calling the centre and support lines - I'm so glad you've felt able to do that. Well done honey. We're all here for you. I don't think you should be alone; I think you need as many supportive people around you as possible. Please don't give up; I believe you'll get better - even if you don't see it right now. You don't need to apologise for not being on; just let us know how you're doing when you can.
*massive hugs*
x Katie x
I need to call crisis team again but I can't explain this to them. Every time I call them I miss the point im trying to make and get off the phone feeling aweful.
"I may be laying in the gutter but I'm staring up at the stars"
muchlove - can you write things down before calling them; so you have a script of some sort? It might help you get your head straight when you're on the phone <3
x Katie x
muchlove... maybe write down what need ssay first then ring em and read it off. then if try go offtopic or accidently do they will already know the situation and try keep track. wanna try that?
hope everyones doin k.... or doin better.
These kicks take me far away my dear; Far away from myself Far away from my troubles
Far away from heaven
I don't know what to tell them.... I don't want to hijack this thread so if anyone has any advice on what I should be telling the crisis team please PM me. It would be very much appreciated. I need to call them soon
"I may be laying in the gutter but I'm staring up at the stars"
Called crisis team, everyone hates me, even the MH nurse at the crisis team hates me. I called and told her about the pills and plans I have made. It's almost as if they don't believe me because I'm telling them. They shouldn't believe I would do it anyway, I'm far too much of a coward. I just want it all to end. I cant keep on........ Who am I kidding though, I'm a coward. I don't even have the guts to finish it all. They want me to hand in my pills when I see them tomorrow, they're just gonna laugh at my pathetic attempt
Maybe they're right, if I really was going to end it all, I wouldn't be telling people right? I don't want to die, I just don't see any other options. I can't help myself. Even my pathetic attempt to reach out for help has left me feeling s***. How on earth am I gonna come back from this. I'm such an aweful person, a total looser and I deserve to die just for being like this.
"I may be laying in the gutter but I'm staring up at the stars"
Hey, be nice to yourself. youre none those things. youre NOT pathetic. they are. i believe you and can help you if you want. *offers hug* only ever PM away
These kicks take me far away my dear; Far away from myself Far away from my troubles
Far away from heaven
Of course it matters if you die, you matter and so does everyone else in this thread, we have all just been pushed to the edge by things that we cannot control and can only see one way out, but that doesn't mean you should take it you have to fight to find another way out.
I had a meeting with a woman from crisis today and she said something which has really confused me, I don't want to post it here but if some kind soul could help me understand what she meant I would be very grateful
Muchlove. I can soooooo relate to everything you're feeling and have said. I totally get it and feel that way too. Every time I have to ask for help. But the truth is that you (and I) are in pain and we have to use our resources to keep us safe. And that's ok even if others don't understand or judge us. I know it hurts. It hurts so much but you did and are doing the right thing. Don't be scared or ashamed. Please keep doing whatever is needed to stay safe. Ignore people who are turds and keep fighting. It's your right to get help!
Doctor Colbertface, yes it really matters. You really matter. Please stay alive and please stay safe. You are important. Don't give up hope. Please
Take Care, Stay Safe, Shout if you need anything
