Just cried at my therapist for an hour about my little sister. I'm so worried about her. Im exhausted with everything. I'm so so tired. I don't know what to about the national interview next week and I have to decide today. I'm as fat as ever. I'm really struggling, I'm trying to fucking engage with mental health workers but it's hard, it's all too hard...
I've stayed put on the ward for almost two weeks now and I've not hurt myself at all and I've been engaging but had a really bad night last night. Went to visit a friend in hospital then poped home and passed out for a few hours. The ward came round and found me on the floor. I woke up confused and panicking with flashbacks galore. I didn't really know what was going on because I was in the middle of flashbacks. They managed to get me back to the unit but I freaked out once in the middle so they restrained me, sectioned me and dragged me back to the ward even though I'm informal and they know restraining makes flashbacks worse. I'm now on escorted leave and I've been waiting to see a doc for 3 hours to get it changed. The ward is really busy and I've been getting abuse from one of the patients. and eczema is badly flared and killing me from the stress. I need leave so I can get outside and calm down. Sorry this was a massive rant.
First off well done for doing so well for two weeks. Do they know why you passed out? Sorry to hear you got restrained and sectioned that must have been quite traumatic. I hope you get to see the doc soon.
'Cause I'll always remember you the same.
Oh eyes like wild flowers within demons of change ♥
Thanks. They say it's stress, nobody really knows. Some bitch on the ward is on at me that I've had a nose job and they did an awful job, or some shit, need to get out of here about to have a meltdown
My discharge date is on Tuesday but I wanted to leave today. I was told my the consultant I could leave at any time. I haven't hurt myself at all. But I asked to leave they said they would section me if I insisted. I'm pissed off with the system.
Hi Katie, It sounds like you've been doing really well. Tuesday isn't too far away. I really wouldn't push for discharge as you don't want to end up sectioned. The difficulty is it's the weekend and you would have to see the duty Doctor and if they aren't familiar with you and your situation they are more likely to err on the side of caution. Perhaps if it was a weekday and your consultant was working they may be happy to discharge you because they are familiar with you and your situation.
x
When life gets you down do you know what you've gotta do?
Yeah that's basically what happened. The paper work wasn't filled in but I was essentially sectioned. All I wanted was overnight leave and when they wouldn't give me that I requested discharge but they said they would section me. Despite that it's written on my notes that I should be allowed to self discharge at any time. It doesn't make any sense to me. At least Tuesday isn't far away.
I'm ok just exhausted. Think my boyfriend is coming later. I'm more stable than I was I guess, just waiting for discharge. Can't wait to get out of here.
Just found out my grandfather (who is terminal) has decided to stop all medical treatment and is about to die. I can't see him because I'm locked up in this shithole.
Just spoken to a nurse. Technically I'm informal but I have no leave and if I try to self discharge I'll be sectioned. I'm getting reviewed tomorrow. I hope to god this doesn't extend my discharge date again. I spoken to my step mum who has predicted he has less than two weeks. Not sure he's up to having visitors but might try and see him next weekend.
Thanks, apparently I'm not getting reviewed today after all, which I'm frankly livid about, it means I have to stay here another day, I have no time or energy for this bullshit. I'm sick of being messed around.
I'm sorry they've messed you around and to hear about your Grandfather. I can't imagine how hard that must be for you.
Thinking of you.
x x x
♥It's the ups and downs of living life this way. Promise me you'll never go away. Just stay with me through one more night because it's always darkest before the light and now I promise you I'll never turn away. I won't let you give us one less heart to break...♥
