Im so scared Ill hurt you, and thats something that I never want to do, I love you and when I say it I mean it so much, I feel so bad because I have been very cold and detached around you the last week or so.... I want to be there and think of you the same way you do of me, I just dont know how, I dont want to make anymore mistakes, I couldnt live with myself if I lost you
Happily Vacationing in the Land of Not Coping. . . .
♥ My dark Angel, you are my everything ♥ I love you and I always will ♥ but you dont love me and it's killing me!
there's nothing but pills and ashes under my skin. . .
I know, bad stuff happened to both of us on Friday, but I just can't forget it like you appear to have done. I know I haven't forgiven you for it yet, but it takes time. You should know that already. I know I wanted the talk, and I know I shied away from it today, but I can't tell you how I really feel. I can't break your heart again. Much as I want to. One day, I'm going to just come out with it, but right now, I can't. We're not going anywhere, so what's the point.
~Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly~
I don't want a lecture, I don't want you to shout at me or have a go at me or tell me that I shouldn't be doing it.I already know all that stuff. I just want you to listen to me....please
i love you. you're the only person who's ever understood me. but there's some stuff you just don't get. i wish you did get that stuff. and i wish you'd listen to my side of things instead of getting mad at me. you're my whole life and i know you shouldn't be but it's just how it is. i wish you'd make more time for me. i know you're busy but if you don't make time for me we might fall apart and i couldn't handle that. i feel like i'm losing you already. and now you've met her i feel like she's gonna be your new best friend. you already text her as much as me. you didn't text anyone as much as me before. what if she becomes the one you trust 100%. i want to always be that person. i want you to tell me i always will be but you can't. you don't know what will happen. it doesn't help when you say you wish you could help. i know you wish you could. but what would really help doesn't seem possible. i know that i'm different to a lot of people and i know i make you angry sometimes but i don't mean to be. i just have to always be honest with you otherwise i feel wrong. you said you appreciated that i was always honest with you. but when we argue because i tell you how i feel it makes me think you don't appreciate it. i don't mean to be so crap. and i don't mean to make you argue. i just want us to be like we were before. i love you so much and i miss how we were :(. i'm so glad you haven't left me like everyone else has. deep down i know you never will leave me either. we're too strong to fall apart. i just get so paranoid of losing you. :(:(
Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, "I'll try again tomorrow".
I hate it when I get out of control.
Get him off me.
OUT of me.
It's all I can think about.
I turn around thinking I've felt his breath on the back of my neck.
Or his foot go to play footsies with mine.
His hands down my back.
I hate it.
But that doesn't get channeled into that.
It gets channeled into this.
I'm sory.
I hate the way you look at me. Like you failed in some way. & Yet you don't even know my secret. Whats hidden beneath the piles of clothes. You see what you want to see. A failure. Yet you don't seem to care, because you have them. The perfect sons. Im just the mishap in the middle. We don't connect. Infact you drive me insane sometimes. And sometimes i hate you more than anyone in the world. And im terrified of becoming you. But still after all i blame you for, i love you.
I want to tell you, i want to be honest. Explain why i am this way. Show you why i lied, why i do it. I'm just terrified of how to tell you what ive been going through over the past 3 years. Not only because im scared of your reaction. But because im terrified that it could bring you guilt for not realising that i was hurting so much right next to you. I need to tell someone, but i need you to show me that your not like all the other friends ive had. I need to know your here to stay.
I think i like you, but im terrified. If i let you in, il have to knock down all the walls ive put up. & what if you don't like whats left? im not strong enough to be hurt like that. Im not.
"I'll lean on you and you lean on me and we'll be okay"
Im a sacred and upset little girl...
all i want is to have a family but it seem that you dont what that...
why cant you let your little girl be happy???
my james i love you and i know im horrible and push you away but thats because i dont want to hut you.
im sorry babe i love you!
My hero wears Combat boots and Camos!
I love that boy!! xxxxx
People walk in and out of our lives everyday, But those special people leave footprints in our hearts and minds.
so you can find time to post like a million pictures on myspace but you can't find time to read my new entry (that you've known about for over a week) or reply to the email i sent a week ago. OR even look up the train times for tomorrow. you'll end up getting the normal train and probably missing it knowing you, then i'll hardly get to see you at all. god you anger me so much sometimes. you say you don't have time. but you so obviously do it's so frustrating. i hated you for a whole second. i can't believe you. but i still can't get you off that pedestal in my head. i bet you haven't even noticed that i haven't texted you at all today. probably don't care. and i shouldn't care that you don't. but i do. god i hate myself for loving you so much. sometimes you cause the hurt. yet you tell me you'd be upset if i cut again. like you're gonna be able to guilt me into not doing it. i don't do it for MYSELF. not for anyone else. and that's the way it's gonna stay. maybe i should try guilting YOU into making time for me. not that it'd work. i still love you. how can i not. :(
Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, "I'll try again tomorrow".
Mum. I hate you. You had no right to treat me like that or abuse me the way you did. Do you realise how much crap i have been through because you were such a piece of ****. I was raped cause i left home early and it is your fault. You were my mother, you were the one who was supposed to love me unconditionally and save me from everything. Instead you ruined my life, ignored my pain and let me fall into a pit of self destruction. Then you have the audacity to complain to others about your crazy daughter who isnt working? why do you think im not working huh? Because i am too scared to leave the house because you abused me. How dare you take the gift of a child and warp it into me.
I hate you
I have no mother.
girl with pink hair <3 da boi wit pink hair xxx
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: suffolk, uk
I am currently:
never stopped
you messed me around like hell
i had enough
i ended it
i was left heart broken
it was over a year we was together
yeh i ended it but i never stopped loving u xxxxx
RIP james fisher xxx u will be missed greatly.
a best friend xxxxx
thanks for making me feel like 2 feet tall
i know i have been late 4 work the last 2 days
i havent slept much
then i am late for work because of no sleep
but really there was no need 2 tell me 2 "snap out of my depression" [because its not as easy as that] and... "come on b you are old enough 2 deal with it"
f*** you s** and j***
until you have followed in my footsteps
dont you dare push me anymore because im going 2 jump
but i think you want me 2 jump
stop making me feel like a freak
Last edited by beautiful_mistake : 27-10-2007 at 11:13 PM.
Reason: x
Don't be someone else's slogan because you are poetry.
