Contains sexual abuse - struggling with telling

[needle girl]

Jo, im generally short on words these days...but you do matter and youre not meant for abuse. *hugs gently* try to take care of yourself sweetie

[l.e.g.o]

struggling to take care of myself
im sorry
im useless

[BridgesAndBalloons]

I'm really sorry you're struggling Jo. Do you think at your next meeting with your therapist you could mention that you felt she wasn't talking you seriously and see what she says? She might have had a reason to want to leave talking until your next session. Maybe you could explain that making you wait doesn't help, she might avoid doing it again in that case.

How are you feeling today?

[l.e.g.o]

ive harmed quite bad
im struggling to keep smiling
im sorry
slowly sliding

[l.e.g.o]

struggling
feeling crap and nopt sure why
feel like im filthy
not sure why

[needle girl]

*holds you gently*
no need to apologize to us hun

im glad to see that you said you feel like youre filthy, instead of saying that you are filthy. wish you didnt feel filthy either, of course, dont want that for anyone

try to go see a doctor for your hurts jo

*hugs*

[l.e.g.o]

no point just want to make it worse
feeling sick with pain tho at the moment

[needle girl]

jo, sounds like you really need a doctor hun, try not to make it worse
low on words right now, hope you feel better <3

[l.e.g.o]

worsened it even more
feeling so ****
all i deserve is hurt
they can see my arm is getting no better but they not bothered
shows i was right that my parents never care

[damagedsurvivor]

Well I don't think you deserve hurt sweetie no one does.
Do you need to see a doctor?

[l.e.g.o]

yeah probably but i'll be fine
i do deserve to hurt
i hurt everyone around me
i upset everyone
im bad and evil through and through

[damagedsurvivor]

Well do you at least have a bandage with some ointment on it? No you don't and Jo (On Edge) doesn't think so either or anyone else here for that matter. Well you've never hurt me and I'm sure there are others who you haven't hurt. No sweetie you are not bad or evil. Who ever hurt you is. They brainwashed you into thinking you are. I know you are good and so does Jo.

[l.e.g.o]

im not worht it
jo been trying to make me take painkillers cos im in agony
but i dont deserve to relieve the pain]
i should suffer

[damagedsurvivor]

Well then listen to her and she knows about pain. You need to take those and no you shouldn't suffer. Please listen to Jo. Take the pain killers.

[l.e.g.o]

i do
i hurt everyone
im vile
im poison
i keep hearing them in my head
i can feel them
im filth
im filth

[damagedsurvivor]

Well I don't believe that. It's all what's been put into your head. So tone them out. Go listen to some music. Think of a happy place in your head and go there where you can't be hurt and those voices can't penetrate the think walls. Well you haven't hurt everyone because I'm still here, so is Jo and plenty others too.

[l.e.g.o]

i am rubbish
sorry

[damagedsurvivor]

No sweetie you are not rubbish. You are just a girl who's been through so much.

[l.e.g.o]

not that much really is it?

[damagedsurvivor]

Not true at all. You need to stop talking down about yourself. I know it's so easy since you've been brainwashed to think this but hun you need to start thinking positively. You say Jo is more than just your best friend well that's how she feels about you too. So that's definitely a lot hun and you need to start seeing that.

I'm here if you ever want to talk. I've been helping Jo and I wouldn't mind helping you too.