non volo- I'm sorry things have gotton so bad huni. Please keep fighting your urges too. I know you don't feel it- I rarely do either- but your still presenting as a danger to yourself hun. I'm sorry the Dr was pissed- but its only cause they care. As for your SH- thats pretty serious to need stitches twice hun- they dont often stitch these days.
perola- Hun, that is a bad sign. Please keep fighting, I know its difficult. I had a similar incident when I asked my Dr what an OD of my meds would do, she told me, I took the lot. Big mistake. As you can see, it didn't work. Its not worth it hun.
Please tell someone how bad things are.
Keep talking guys xx
I am just flat today. I want to harm. I want to do what the thoughts have been telling me for months. I know it will happen- why do I keep fighting it.
Here's the day you hoped would never come,
Don't feed me violins, just run with me
through rows of speeding cars.
21 on the run, on the run, on the run
From myself, from myself and everyone
I better leave the light on
The darkness, The sweetness, The sadness, The weakness,
O, I need this
Hi, I'm Roli Take Care, Stay Safe, Shout if you need anything
Roli- thank you, I'm just scared of what's going to happen next.
You keep fighting it for the same reason that you tell me to fight it so please keep trying
Thanks non volo, I needed to hear that. Hate admitting it, but I'm struggling today.
What are you scared of hun? Yourself? Hospital? Your support team etc? x
Here's the day you hoped would never come,
Don't feed me violins, just run with me
through rows of speeding cars.
21 on the run, on the run, on the run
From myself, from myself and everyone
I better leave the light on
The darkness, The sweetness, The sadness, The weakness,
O, I need this
Hi, I'm Roli Take Care, Stay Safe, Shout if you need anything
I SH'ed yesterday and now I'm afraid of what my husband will do and say when he finds out. :( I'm in an impossible situation. Need help. Can't get help. Trapped by satan though no one believes me except a few people. On meds that aren't helping. Want to go off them so I'm skipping doses. I'm fucked. Sorry for the language.
Hugs mum- I'm sorry you harmed hun, I'm sure your husband will be ok- its just an output of what your struggling with (thats what my bf says anyway).
I'm sorry your struggling so much atm hun- please try to stay on your meds. I know its hard, but they haven't had enough time to work yet.
Swear away hun- there is research to suggest it has health benefits :P
Cuddles tight. x
Here's the day you hoped would never come,
Don't feed me violins, just run with me
through rows of speeding cars.
21 on the run, on the run, on the run
From myself, from myself and everyone
I better leave the light on
The darkness, The sweetness, The sadness, The weakness,
O, I need this
Hi, I'm Roli Take Care, Stay Safe, Shout if you need anything
perola- I know that feeling hun. I feel it a lot. Is there anything that makes you feel less 'dead'? Is there anything you can think of that made you hang on so long? It doesnt have to be the end hun. Keep fighting xx
Here's the day you hoped would never come,
Don't feed me violins, just run with me
through rows of speeding cars.
21 on the run, on the run, on the run
From myself, from myself and everyone
I better leave the light on
The darkness, The sweetness, The sadness, The weakness,
O, I need this
Hi, I'm Roli Take Care, Stay Safe, Shout if you need anything
It's just that... everyone and everything that should be helping, aren't helping at all. The psychologist, the psychiatrist, the meds, none of those are making me feel better. In the end, I'm all alone in this. So, if nothing helps, why keep trying?
And charmed, please keep talking to us. Maybe we can help each other out. I'm sorry that you're feeling so low at the moment.
Perola, You are not alone, i promise you aren't. Can you try explaining to them how you feel so alone and that they aren't really helping? Is it possible you do need new meds? They shouldnt take this long. There will be something that will help, you just haven't found it. Is there something you enjoy you can do? You keep trying and fighting becasue of all the wonderful things in the world we haven't found yet.
Im sorry im not particularly helpful, but keep fighting hun.
Have you ever looked fear in the face and said "I just don't care"?
it's okay, you don't have to be helpful, you are struggling yourself. I had an idea, why don't we make some sort of a promise? We are feeling the same way about death and suicide, so we could promise that instead of doing it, we would talk to each other. I don't know if this makes any sense but it just came to my mind :p
Charmed- ...Katie (Heaven Knows) knows all about my stalking capabilities (maybe you could set up a support group for it )
Why do you feel like your not in control anymore hun? Do you have a support network at all?
Hugs x
p.s. I didn't mean to seem stalk'a'rish- I just happened to notice your post.
perola- I totally get the whole feeling of being on your own, even with all the support. I was quite harsh to my CPN when she went to say that I wasn't alone in this. Went on a bit of a rant and asked if I could leave. I feel bad about it, but it was just what I was thinking. So I get it.
I think new meds might help hun. Can you talk to someone, Dr, new Dr anyone.
To answer the Q of 'why keep fighting'... Because there is always hope. There is always a chance of things changing. There is.
Here's the day you hoped would never come,
Don't feed me violins, just run with me
through rows of speeding cars.
21 on the run, on the run, on the run
From myself, from myself and everyone
I better leave the light on
The darkness, The sweetness, The sadness, The weakness,
O, I need this
Hi, I'm Roli Take Care, Stay Safe, Shout if you need anything
Take Care, Stay Safe, Shout if you need anything
)
