Morning guys (it's morning here). How are you doing today? I am just trying to push out of bed. I need to eat better today.
You guys are talking about knowing what's real and not. I hear you. I seem to act on the not real thoughts too often, cuz I believe them. Not good. Some thoughts are such long standing habits though that I have no idea how to break them.
Thinking of you. How are you non volo? Katie? Roli?
Hey all
*hugs*
Roli: I'm sorry you're feeling bad about your mum; but like non volo said: you do deserve her in your life. You're so amazing :)
non volo: I hope you're doing alright today.
Rachel: Sorry you're struggling today. I know what you mean about them being habits - I feel that way about some of the thoughts I have.
I don't know how to think or feel today. My brain feels like it's reached saturation point and will no longer take anything in. I can't even seem to get it to work right now - like thinking about making the simpliest decision is too hard for me to do.
Gah.
Roli- I know you weren't intruding, sorry if it came across that way.
Katie and Rachel - I know exactly how you both feel, there are many days where I don't know what I am doing and have many things in my head with no idea what thoughts to follow so my head feels a bit fried and just cannot make the simplest decision.
I know I'm gonna kill myself, its not irrational anymore, in fact regardless I'm gonna kill myself, maybe because I cant do anything more to make my life better, or at least I dont want to try to make my life better.
Take me away, I just want out from this self-imprisoned self-made Hell. Don't be surprsed, this is your mind coming to life by self-sacrifice. This tragedy of death will walk hand in hand with every thought of regret. Blame yourself for what you've become. The mind is a powerful thing set to self-destruct.
~I, Dementia - Whitechapel~
Hey *hugs* hope everyone is feeling better today.......
Im feeling really suicidal recently, and the bad thing is a couple of my friends found out, so they will think its all there fault when i actually kill myself! I need to write them a note explaining!
I just dont see the point in carrying on anymore as i am just a failure at everything! Ive set a date, and its soon.... the thought of that makes me slightly happier but i just feel so bad atm and i dont know what to do :\
without hope, theres no life. so whats my point in living?
I'm tired of trying, sick of crying, I know I've been smiling, but inside I'm dying.
JDenning and slurpslurp... Nooo.. :( I also sad. Please tell someone who can help. Please reconsider. There is another way to feel better. Maybe you don't want to die, just want to have the pain end? If you die, there's no guarantee of that.. and you can't feel better. People will never get over it. Never. Please reconsider. I know how hard it is. Believe me. I am fighting my head every day.
No, I'm not sad, or in pain, I'm quite content with my life, Its just theres no real reason to keep going the way I am now. and I dont want to fight to make my life any better than it is now, i just dont seek to keep going, but i still have a few months.
Take me away, I just want out from this self-imprisoned self-made Hell. Don't be surprsed, this is your mind coming to life by self-sacrifice. This tragedy of death will walk hand in hand with every thought of regret. Blame yourself for what you've become. The mind is a powerful thing set to self-destruct.
~I, Dementia - Whitechapel~
yeah unlike jdenning i am sad, but i feel that even though the pain might not go away when were dead, atleast there is more hope than it going away than when were allive. and i cant tell anyone, i know what they will think! this is my only way out!
without hope, theres no life. so whats my point in living?
I'm tired of trying, sick of crying, I know I've been smiling, but inside I'm dying.
I'm sorry guys. I'm really having a hard time. I'm so angry. And so sick of this shit whatever it is. I can't cope. I'm so tempted and so upset. I am tired of fighting the thoughts. I'm going to die anyway so why am I fighting it? I'm so hurting. I can't even function at home, which is my whole reason for living so what am I doing? I am in my car again, screaming (literally) and crying and I know that nothing will ever change. I can't cope with life. I'm so stupid and so bad. I can't deal with this any more.
just realised at uni I have a stockpile of old meds, and now well my brain is hatching plans. trying to ignore it, maybe could give pills to doc when i get back uni? I dont really want to go away, or really like that. i dont think i do. but here it is in my head.
try keeping going mum you worth it. from all kind words you given here i tell you're a good person.
Hello... im trying to hold on but im not sure how long its going to last at the moment. It all just went wrong. Ive slipped up more than once today and its scaring me a little. But i will continue trying.
JDenning, Why don't you want to make your life better? There is always a reason to keep going, do it for yourself. If you turn life away now there will be no going back, it will be your decision forever just on this one bad area of your life. - that is my advice to everyone!
Slurp, How will you know if the pain has gone if you are dead? You won't be alive to see the chance of the pain going? I feel there is a stronger chance of the pain going if you are alive, at least you will feel it. You will be surprised what people will think if you tell them. There are other ways.
Rachel, is there anyone you can talk to at the moment? Anyone around who can support you? You are fighting because there is that chance at happiness. It will change, have faith. You are not stupid are bad you are a lovely person who is always willing to help people who deserves help herself.
Have you ever looked fear in the face and said "I just don't care"?
Sorry to intrude on this thread, I don't mean to get in the way of all you guys' problems and stuff..
I've just been feeling really suicidal lately. Like REALLY bad. I'm on break from school so I'm basically just at home with my family which is not fun and there isnt anything to do to distract myself and I hate my house and its not a good time.
I hate myself and I don't have a best friend, all my friends only talk to me if I talk to them first and the guy who I like who saved my life and is also my best friend is dating my other friend which kind of crushed my heart and it sounds so petty and ridiculous but I feel awful about everything right now.
Basically every night I go over in my head the pros and cons to attempting suicide and I sit there and cry but being that it's the middle of the night it's really dark and I'm too scared to get out of my bed because I'm scared there's something in my room that will get me if I get out of bed (I know how childish that sounds..).
I just fee sick and dead all the time.
"I believe in running through the rain and crashing into the person you love and having your lips bleed on each other"
Hi everyone, I have been away from RYL for a while now and I'm sorry I've not been around. I just want to say to everyone feeling this bad, try and hold on. I'm not sure if this helps anyone but my mother in law once said to me "the light at the end of the tunnel isn't necessarily an on-coming train". It has stuck with me. We are in this together at least. *hugs for everyone*
I used to long for broken bones
I used to long for a casket to call my own.
my internet acces isn't very consistant so I apoligise if it takes me a while to reply to anyone
Sending *hugs* to everyone
My sick note runs out after xmas. I've Been off work for two months and the though of going back scares me so much. Im feeling mega suicidal because of this, its stupid I know. I can't help it. I want to die so I don't have to deal with it.
"I may be laying in the gutter but I'm staring up at the stars"
I dont want to keep going to see if it gets any better i dont want to try to make my life better because i know I'll fail
Take me away, I just want out from this self-imprisoned self-made Hell. Don't be surprsed, this is your mind coming to life by self-sacrifice. This tragedy of death will walk hand in hand with every thought of regret. Blame yourself for what you've become. The mind is a powerful thing set to self-destruct.
~I, Dementia - Whitechapel~
Take Care, Stay Safe, Shout if you need anything
