I agree that feeding on demand is a good thing - babies know when they are hungry and when they are not, and ignoring that by feeding on a schedule just overides that natural instinct. It's important that children are allowed to regulate their own intake, so many adults (myself included) have eating problems because of childhood issues around food.. 'you're not leaving the table until the plate is clear, just 2 more bites' spring to mind from my parents. Even now I find myself struggling to finish a plate even though I'm full if I'm with my mum, and I didn't even notice until she pointed it out.
It is hard when I've spent ages preparing a meal only for him to refuse it, or when he's gone a day without eating much and I worry it will make his sleep even worse, but I would never encourage him to eat when he wasn't interested and if he asks for milk or a snack between meals then he gets it. Hopefully as he gets older he will fall into a meal schedule with the rest of the family but for now I just want him to get to know his body and learn healthy eating habits (in particular to only eat when you're hungry because that's what I struggle with).
Maybe problems arise when parents misread the signals and feed when the baby wants something else, maybe that particular baby was just built to be chunky, or maybe it's different with formula, I don't know.
I think it would be better if the 1 year old wasn't on jars though, especially if they're lower stages, I'm pretty sure chewing is important for developing the muscles used for speech. How does he (?) react to finger food?
I was going to say the same thing about chewing. It helps speech, giving fluids only in bottles to babies over one can delay speech. I also agree with what the others said about introducing and encouraging finger food.
Feeding on demand doesn't cause obesity, it's actually a really good way to feed.
agreed.
tbh, i dont think Esmé would of been sleeping through at 4weeks if i wasn't feeding on demand, she got all she needed through the day to be full enough to sleep during the night.
I do however, think there is a certain point when night feeding isn't a need and is just a comfort so needs to be stopped.
It is rather concerning that the baby is on stage 2 jars...does the baby have any finger foods at all? and is there any chance you'd be able to get the baby off jars? give something more fresh, healthier and something to chew on...
It's so easy to get lost in constantly having to present
whatever face you believe a person wants to see rather than your own
it is contagious but it isnt caused by being unclean
Is this about the impetigo?
No it's not directly caused by being unclean but the risk of getting it can be greatly lowered by having good hygiene.
Quote:
Originally Posted by mandimoo
you are a childcare porfessional, as is a health visitor. if you feel the parents are ignoring things (such as the constipation) that need seeing to, mention it to the health visitor. she can always write a letter to the parents about her findings. you can ask her not to mention you drawing her attention to anything.
it's my view that kids on milk like that at night will wake up because they are used to it, not because they need it.
overfeeding can cause obesity, a friend at church did on demand feeding with formula and her son was really big, instead of seeing a health visitor and asking about giving water instead or about moving onto a different kind of formula, she was giving him at least double all his life. he was born quite small so she presumed he was catching up. now he is 18 months, in 18-24months trousers and the flys won't do up, but everything has to be rolled up coz he isn't as tall as the clothes he is wearing.
speak to the HV about your concerns, maybe even get her to recommend a diet (instead of jars) of suitable foods and how much milk to give, and to write it down for the parents, with maybe recommendations of weekly/fortnightly visits to clinic to check on progress?
Yes I'm going to bring things up with the HV and see what she says.
I share your view about kids waking up like that not because they need it but because they are used to it and it's more like a routine now.
I see the children being obese in the future. The two year old girl is wearing age 3-4 clothes. The 10 year old girl is a ladies size 14. The little 1 year old boy however is very small for his age. He's 13 months but is still wearing 6-9months. I think probably because he's not getting the nourishment he needs. I'm hoping this will be something the HV picks up on next week and then hopefully the mother realise she needs to stop huge amount of milk and let him eat proper solids.
Thanks for the responses guys. I've been working in this profession for 7 years but there's still nothing that comes close to real mum's advice!
but feeding on demand when you are giving far more than the recommended intake? i agree on giving it to them when they want/need it, but not to go wildly over the daily intake suggested. With formula often babies need/want water too, but you have to get the balance right.
Mand, South Wales, Full-time working, single mother to 2 scarily independent girls.
I AM A PROUD PLUMERIA SISTER
does the little one eat 2-3 meals a day? maybe offer the solids first then milk? he might not want the milk iso much f he is getting more solids offered.
mand x
Mand, South Wales, Full-time working, single mother to 2 scarily independent girls.
I AM A PROUD PLUMERIA SISTER
I can't comment on the 10 year old, other than to say she sounds like she's at an unhealthy weight. But for the two year old and one year old, it's very hard to talk of obesity or undernourishment unless it's in something of an extreme. A one year old being in smaller clothing isn't unusual at all, if the little one is following their centile, then there's no need to worry, everyone grows at different rates. For the two year old, again, centiles still matter at this age and plenty of toddlers are in clothes that aren't age appropriate because they're taller, smaller, slimmer or wider.
Our little boy Fin is 21 months old, his clothes are now almost entirely age 2-3 and his shoes are a 6G (or H, can't remember!). He's not overweight at all, he's followed his centile perfectly from weight and that's what applies to him, my friend's little one is almost exactly the same age, but she's a good few inches taller but much slimmer. Also, little things can distort clothing: Fin is in washable nappies and so has a slightly bigger back side to accommodate than a little one in disposables, so needs bigger clothing. Plus, simply a child's 'build' makes a huge difference, Finlay is a mini-version of his father and for anyone who's met Aaron, they'll know how broad shouldered he is and Fin is like that too.
The point is, clothing sizes mean little under around age 5. The ten year old though, that does sound concerning. Do you have their red books to hand? The books they'd take to the health visitor? You can do a simple evaluation by sticking them on the scales and looking at where they should be on their centiles.
And yes Anna, i'm a Shona too :)
18.11 28.4 6.5 22.31
My heart just needs his smile, that i can't forget, like so melancholy a kiss.
but feeding on demand when you are giving far more than the recommended intake? i agree on giving it to them when they want/need it, but not to go wildly over the daily intake suggested. With formula often babies need/want water too, but you have to get the balance right.
A baby will take what they need, you can't particularly force feed a baby. The water part is important, but only if the little one's needing that extra fluid (ie if they're constipated). Also, out of interest, Finlay rarely drank anything other than milk until after he was one and was (mixed) demand fed. :)
18.11 28.4 6.5 22.31
My heart just needs his smile, that i can't forget, like so melancholy a kiss.
does the little one eat 2-3 meals a day? maybe offer the solids first then milk? he might not want the milk iso much f he is getting more solids offered.
mand x
Yes I give him 3 meals a day. He doesn't eat huge amounts and it's only the type of food the mother allows me to feed him.
I'm there between 9am and 6pm and I only give him one bottle of milk during that time. The rest of the milk is given to him after I leave.
Would he still get the nourishment he needs for his age from jars and baby porridge?
Would it be very wrong of me to give him finger food when the mother doesn't want me to...?
I can't comment on the 10 year old, other than to say she sounds like she's at an unhealthy weight. But for the two year old and one year old, it's very hard to talk of obesity or undernourishment unless it's in something of an extreme. A one year old being in smaller clothing isn't unusual at all, if the little one is following their centile, then there's no need to worry, everyone grows at different rates. For the two year old, again, centiles still matter at this age and plenty of toddlers are in clothes that aren't age appropriate because they're taller, smaller, slimmer or wider.
Our little boy Fin is 21 months old, his clothes are now almost entirely age 2-3 and his shoes are a 6G (or H, can't remember!). He's not overweight at all, he's followed his centile perfectly from weight and that's what applies to him, my friend's little one is almost exactly the same age, but she's a good few inches taller but much slimmer. Also, little things can distort clothing: Fin is in washable nappies and so has a slightly bigger back side to accommodate than a little one in disposables, so needs bigger clothing. Plus, simply a child's 'build' makes a huge difference, Finlay is a mini-version of his father and for anyone who's met Aaron, they'll know how broad shouldered he is and Fin is like that too.
The point is, clothing sizes mean little under around age 5. The ten year old though, that does sound concerning. Do you have their red books to hand? The books they'd take to the health visitor? You can do a simple evaluation by sticking them on the scales and looking at where they should be on their centiles.
They haven't been to the Health Visitor in a long time. I've been with them since the 2 year old was about 8 months and in that time she's never had a visit to the HV. She had her jabs at around a year old but that's all.
The 1 year old hasn't seen the HV since he was about 4 months old.
The mother is American so I don't know if they work things differently over there and maybe don't visit the Health Visitor like we do here...?
The 10 year old is quite overweight and the mother has mentioned it to me a few times, but only like how she struggles to find age appropriate clothes in her size and how she feels sorry for her at things like the school disco where all the other wee girls are wearing nice things but she can't get stuff like that for her. She doesn't however ever mention that she's concerned about her weight, or that she'd like to introduce healthy food and exercise.
I've tried to be subtle and bring it up with the girl herself but she doesn't seem overly concerned. I think in a year or two though as she gets more body conscious and starts being interested in boys this could change.
the poor child is probably finding the food rather bland! anyway you can sneak something nicer in at lunchtime??
fin was mixed fed, so he would have got at least some 'drinks' from you during the breast feeds. Chloe had during the summer a small avent bottle of boiled water to take from all day, and she usually took between 1 and 4 oz in the early days, and from 6months on will take at least one small bottles worth of squash/water/baby juice, if she had a day where she wasn't so keen on the water when she was younger, she got constipated, so she seemed to need it.
do they drink anything else? maybe try a bottle/beaker of baby juice or squash, the food sounds very bland still, hopefully the health visitor can write an adequate letter to the parents.
mand x
Mand, South Wales, Full-time working, single mother to 2 scarily independent girls.
I AM A PROUD PLUMERIA SISTER
the poor child is probably finding the food rather bland! anyway you can sneak something nicer in at lunchtime??
fin was mixed fed, so he would have got at least some 'drinks' from you during the breast feeds. Chloe had during the summer a small avent bottle of boiled water to take from all day, and she usually took between 1 and 4 oz in the early days, and from 6months on will take at least one small bottles worth of squash/water/baby juice, if she had a day where she wasn't so keen on the water when she was younger, she got constipated, so she seemed to need it.
do they drink anything else? maybe try a bottle/beaker of baby juice or squash, the food sounds very bland still, hopefully the health visitor can write an adequate letter to the parents.
mand x
Yeah, i know it was the mixed feeding which would change the balance, but he was primarily on formula. That aside though! Smoothies are great fun for little ones too, at a year old, the wee one could be trying open cups.
Quote:
Originally Posted by GlitterGirl
They haven't been to the Health Visitor in a long time. I've been with them since the 2 year old was about 8 months and in that time she's never had a visit to the HV. She had her jabs at around a year old but that's all.
The 1 year old hasn't seen the HV since he was about 4 months old.
The mother is American so I don't know if they work things differently over there and maybe don't visit the Health Visitor like we do here...?
That isn't remotely unusual, the majority of parents will only see the health visitors for jabs. But the health visitor is on hand until they go to school.
Regards the ten year old, sadly, the baby and toddler take priority, the impact of malnutrition will affect them more directly than the older child being overweight. It might be worth gently giving the ten year old access to healthy eating and simply bringing it up as a topic to talk about.
Quote:
Originally Posted by GlitterGirl
She thinks he's not ready. He doesn't have many teeth and she thinks he struggles to eat chunks of food.
That's a bit strange as babies can be weaned using finger foods, i'd give it a go with finger foods, but be careful over what you offer.
18.11 28.4 6.5 22.31
My heart just needs his smile, that i can't forget, like so melancholy a kiss.
something soft like banana?
he might like something harder to chomp on to ease any teething pains. rusks in hard biscuit form are good as are bits of cucumber. stick shape is an easy one to get the hang of, but even chloe can pick up individual pieces of rice and get them in her mouth so that shouldn't be an issue.
as regards to food that can be eaten without teeth...
when my grandma was in her 20s she was in a road accident and lost most of her teeth, in those days it was easier to whip the remaining ones out and make a full set of dentures. it also took 3 weeks between measuring and getting the dentures fitted. she was without teeth for about a month in all.
by the end of the month she was gumming on apples and eating a roast pork dinner with the rest of the family. so it can be done... the baby has the advantage of having a few teeth at least!
chloe only has 4 teeth, she enjoys stage 4 jars, as well as home ocoked roast chicken with veggies, boiled cod (poach in some milk) with some mash potato/swede on the side, she eats the occasional piece of sausage when on the scrounge from other people's plates, she likes pasta, fruit - oranges, bananas, apples, pears, kiwi fruit, melon... dried fruit, apricots, sultanas etc... veg she likes raw tomatoes (i remove the seedy bit just for messy's sake!), cucumber, pepper, mushrooms i go easy on carrot coz she hasn't quite got the hang of it raw yet. she likes cooked carrot, swede, sweet potato, peas, sweetcorn, baby sweetcorn, beansprouts, (anything oyu find in stir fry packs really!) and she really likes to chomp on ribs (i eat most of the meat and let her chomp on the bone for a bit, she has it clean little animal!!).
i give her far too much sweet stuff... well my parents do! my dad gave her 2 pink wafers whilst i was at the dr's today, and my brother gave her a rich tea finger! whilst grandma came home and gave her 10 chocolate buttons!!!! all of which she naturally loves!
mand x
Mand, South Wales, Full-time working, single mother to 2 scarily independent girls.
I AM A PROUD PLUMERIA SISTER
they say you should be careful what you wish for, but as another friend announces their pregnancy i cant help but feel sad its not me
why is this happening, freyja is only 9 months old? its not as if i have been trying to conceive for years with no luck? and i would probably sob my heart out for days if i fell pregnant now...but im still so jealous!
"When I want your opinion, I'll beat it out of you" - Dr Samuel Loomis
I'm the same stace, I even get jelous when I see a random pregnant woman in the street and Adela's only 7 months! I know in reality we're not ready for another baby yet but I miss being pregnant and the tiny baby stage a lot.
i dont miss being pregnant! just the tiny baby stage
when my kids are all grown up i wanna foster tinies... you constantly have ickle peoples to snuggle!
mand x
Mand, South Wales, Full-time working, single mother to 2 scarily independent girls.
I AM A PROUD PLUMERIA SISTER
