*cuddles april* try to do something relaxing hun. Im sorry that you are so anxious.
*hugs mark* Im glad that you were so happy running into that girl. You deserve to be happy.
*cuddles helen* Sorry that you are in pain. But I'm so glad that you are getting to talk to your friend. Thank goodness she is okay and that you can worry a little less now!
*hugs oliver, crimson, and jill*
I am trying to not let that girl ruin the relay tonight, but i keep thinking about it.. ugh.. maybe she wont show up.
*curls up for a little while before i have to leave*
I just want all of this to disappear... or maybe i should just disappear.
<3
forgiveness is the release of all hope for a better past - buddy wakefield
Still so anxious.... I don't know why... have tried distracting myself, but then ate supper and now feel full and icky. :'( It wasn't a huge supper either... I am so stupid, so idiotic, you all must be SICK of me!!
My bestie is coming over tomorrow to talk... she's not angry with me... which is really good... but I'm still a little worried about how she said she "really wants to talk." :-/
Bathtime then maybe curl up in bed and get/stay warm? or read for awhile... dunno.
*hides*
RYL family: Doikers is my brother
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter into another! - Anatole France.
Laura, I'm just really struggling. So much stuff with my best friend (some of it relating to this week) & other stuff. I just want to run & run from it & get away from it for a while. But I can't :'(
She shouts, she screams, she smashes your dreams . . .
Would you mind if I killed you? Would you mind if I tried to?
'Cause you have turned into my worst enemy,
You carry hate that I don't feel: It's over now WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
* Proud Plumeria Sister * My Support Thread * I got lei'd in vets *
* My RYL Family: big brother Doikers; little sisters MammaMia & flutterby butterfly *
I know the feeling Kahlia. Keep going sweetheart. Every minute, hour, day you struggle with this, is that little bit closer to happiness again. *snuggles*
*hugs Helen and Kahlia* You girls are doing it tough huh, wish there was something I could do or say for you both that would actually help. You are both such lovely supportive people and I thank you for hanging round with us lot x
Oliver, good luck with your concert, you'll do awesome, you just have to believe in yourself as much as we do ok! *begs Oliver to come play for us on the ward soon*
*watches Laura complete another lap* I'm guessing that you're still out there doing your relay for life, I am very impressed, that's a very cool thing to be doing for others. We have the same thing here in NZ, maybe I'll put my hand up next time *thanks Laura for being so inspiring*
Crimson, its great that whilst I was sleeping your housing issues kind of sorted themselves out. However I was hopeful that with said housing issue you might contemplate the move to NZ more seriously ;)
Mark, hun, unrequited love sucks hey. But with the feeling you have for Hannah P you know you can feel like that, and if its not her it will be some other lucky lady OK? Personally I think you should tell her how you feel, but I probably wouldn't take my advice given I'm now single after a 15 year relationship :D
April, honey, you sound like you are very smart, all those awards and scholarships, and you converse so easily about anything on here. I for one am honoured to have you as a ward mate, and am certainly NOT sick of you one little bit.
And yes, last night they treated me completely fine, cos I lied about how I did it and we laughed and joked and I was my usual charming self. I hate lying, but I'm desperate to stay out of the public MH system here and SI isn't that well accepted here, funnily enough.
I went for a cycle this morning and visited a couple of friends, now housework is calling and I'm babysitting tonight, so apart from being a bit down, very sore, and feeling somewhat sorry for myself, I'm in pretty good shape.
*cuddles each and every person (and puppy) on the ward*
JK: I don't know why, but I got a line from Shrek 2 stuck in my head after reading your post: Oh, you've got a puppy? I wanna smother him in shampoo! Sometimes my head really scares me ...
She shouts, she screams, she smashes your dreams . . .
Would you mind if I killed you? Would you mind if I tried to?
'Cause you have turned into my worst enemy,
You carry hate that I don't feel: It's over now WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
* Proud Plumeria Sister * My Support Thread * I got lei'd in vets *
* My RYL Family: big brother Doikers; little sisters MammaMia & flutterby butterfly *
:D that's a nice wee vision, summer day, bare feet on the grass, wet lathered up puppy shaking his soapiness all over your warm legs as you giggle...hmm my head is also a scary place.
*happily accepts cuddles, waves magic sleeping wand over Helen and heads back to cleaning the bathroom*
*hugs April* I am certainly not sick of having you on here, your lovely and always so kind. I hope you managed to sleep ok last night and that you feel less anxious this morning.
*hugs JK* thanks for the good luck, yeah I'm trying to believe in myself, just starting to get really anxious and stressed about it now, but then I always get anxious before a performance so I'm used to it, but I still hate the feeling.
*hugs Helen, Crimson, Mark, Kahlia*
I'm off to have brunch in a minute, they let us have a lie in this morning as no rehearsals until we get to the venue, but that means a coach journey, I don't travel well and get really anxious and stressed about it,so I tend to sleep on coaches, but aparently I sleep really weirdly and move a lot and last year on way back from concert I was drawn on, although it was quite amusing.
I feel sick, why am I so anxious already, the concert isn't until 7.45 tonight, plus I had 2 horrible dreams last night which are making me feel rubbish.
*wonders off to corner*
"Never be a spectator of unfairness or studpidity. The grave will supply plenty of time for silence." Christopher Hitchens
'When words fail, music speaks'
I am transsexual and homoromantic and proud to be.
She shouts, she screams, she smashes your dreams . . .
Would you mind if I killed you? Would you mind if I tried to?
'Cause you have turned into my worst enemy,
You carry hate that I don't feel: It's over now WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
* Proud Plumeria Sister * My Support Thread * I got lei'd in vets *
* My RYL Family: big brother Doikers; little sisters MammaMia & flutterby butterfly *
Jarrod & I may be off to the mall in a bit... which will be nice, just some us-time, although my best friend is invited (if she gets the text in time, lol). He wants to look at motorcycles... and I want to go to Hot Topic and see what's on clearance.
He's on furlough now which means that he won't be getting paid except unemployment for the next month, possibly three. Eugh. And then he's planning on putting off college until spring so I have more time to find a job (hopefully - prayers about this would be appreciated!!) and get settled into a new routine. It'll be nice to have him around the apartment more, and not be smelly from work (oil etc.), but I'll have to find elsewhere to SI... although I haven't SI'd at home lately at all. Just on campus.
Anyway. Sorry no individual replies... am exhausted, got up at 5am AGAIN today... :(
*more cuddles*
RYL family: Doikers is my brother
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter into another! - Anatole France.
*cuddles April* I hope you have a good time at the mall, is that a shopping centre type thing?? sorry get confused sometimes with american english. good luck with finding a job, just wanted to say everytime you ask for prayers, I always think of you, I don't pray-am a very strong atheist and actually would really appreciate no one saying they are praying for me, offends me a little, this isn't to say I have anything against religion, its just me, but I think of you and I hope that, that is ok. sorry rambling now
*hugs mark* thanks for the coffee, but I don't like it sorry, but I'm going to have a banana instead.
*hugs Kahlia*
*hugs JK* yeah I will let you all know how it goes, will not be until tomorrow morning though as we get back after the internet goes off.
I'm off in 30minutes, anxious, but looking forward to it as well, because hopefully all the hard work of the week will pay off.
*cuddles all*
"Never be a spectator of unfairness or studpidity. The grave will supply plenty of time for silence." Christopher Hitchens
'When words fail, music speaks'
I am transsexual and homoromantic and proud to be.
