If you are feeling suicidal, post here... - Page 110

getting_by · 23-12-2011, 03:23 PM

Honey- Its your head being fuzzy again. Remember? Its just because of all thats going on with you atm hun.
You are in control of your thoughts, you brain and your mind. Don't forget that hun.

Hugs tightly. xx

Mum24 · 23-12-2011, 04:58 PM

Roli. Hugs. He's telling me that I'm a failure and that my family is better off with me dead and that I shoulddo stupid things and that I should sit around and do nothing and that I'm bad and not to pray and everything. He's putting thoughts in my head and I'm all too happily carrying them out. I'm trapped. Or maybe I'm wrong. Maybe

getting_by · 23-12-2011, 05:06 PM

Oh darling *holds gently*

Your none of those things, none at all. I know its hard to see sometimes honey, but your struggling a lot at the minute, which is why 'he' is telling you all of those nasty things. But they really aren't true. Not at all. Try to fight them as much as possible hun.

Keep praying. Keep remembering that your family would be beyong devastated if you were to leave them honey. You deserve to live. To be happy. And you will. You will.

Keep fighting what he's telling you to do honey. You have control over your actions. Don't forget that. Please try to fight or distract from the thoughts- they are dangerous.

Here for you xx

non volo · 23-12-2011, 05:22 PM

Well I'm not getting admitted as they don't think I will cope with being there but I have been told if I get worse then I will be sectioned. In the mean time I have to keep in contact with the crisis team and the mental health team a few times a day each.

Mum24: I know how you feel with the antipsychotics, I felt like a zombie when I first started taking them but they do help if you give them time, just don't make any rash decisions as you are certainly NOT a failure, I may not have been here long but I have seen you help people and that makes you a more of a success than you can imagine.

getting_by · 23-12-2011, 05:40 PM

non volo- Nice to hear from you hun. How do you feel about not being admitted? I would hope that instead of sectioning you they would consult you first- sectioning is a little extreme if you willing to go voluntarily.
How are things today?
Oh the joy, you get to chat to the crisis team lots :P. Are they nice where you are? They are pretty shocking around here.
How are you feeling about christmas?
Hugs xx

non volo · 23-12-2011, 06:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by getting_by

non volo- Nice to hear from you hun. How do you feel about not being admitted? I would hope that instead of sectioning you they would consult you first- sectioning is a little extreme if you willing to go voluntarily.
How are things today?
Oh the joy, you get to chat to the crisis team lots :P. Are they nice where you are? They are pretty shocking around here.
How are you feeling about christmas?
Hugs xx

Thank you for your hugs, *hugs back*
I think I would go voluntarily if it came to that, I've been arrested and forced to have treatment before and it wasn't nice so I don't think I would like to be sectioned. As for the crisis team I have no idea, I've had them before but they were males and that didn't help but this time it's females so it may be different.
I'm not really sure how I feel, my mind is all over the place just now with lots of different thoughts but I could definitely do without christmas, all it does is remind me how alone I am and how much my family hate me.

Edit: probably should mention my cpn was pushing for it today but my doctor talked her out of it.

Heaven Knows · 23-12-2011, 06:35 PM

*leaves hugs for all*
<3

Charmed · 23-12-2011, 07:30 PM

Hi... i hope its okay i post in here.... i don't really know what to say, feeling quite alone and i want it all to end. I don't have energy left to fight anymore. Im just exhausted.

I hope everyone is okay.

*hugs*

sorry... i dont want to intrude :S

Heaven Knows · 23-12-2011, 07:33 PM

hey Charmed *hugs*
Sorry you're feeling so low right. Of course it's okay to post here.
Do you have any support around you right now?

Charmed · 23-12-2011, 07:59 PM

Thankyou... :)

My mum is here but im scared to tell her things. I also cant seem to be able to contact anyone. But I am talking to a friend who mostly understands. I just dont want to worry her. Sorry...

Erm how are you feeling? :)

Heaven Knows · 23-12-2011, 08:01 PM

It's good you're talking to your friend. I hope they're helping you. There's no need to be sorry; it's good you've come on here to admit you're struggling.

I'm a little lost but I'm still here <3

Charmed · 23-12-2011, 08:09 PM

Thanyou, they are helping :) she is coming over but im slightly scared because i dont want her to see that ive hurt myself. I massively fail at being a friend.

Sorry you feel lost *hugs* is there anyone you can talk to? Or anyone around you for support? Stay safe.

Heaven Knows · 23-12-2011, 08:12 PM

You don't fail at being a friend <3 she obviously cares about you and just wants you to be safe.

To be honest, no. I'm alone but I'm not feeling as unsafe as I probably could so it's something.

Mum24 · 23-12-2011, 08:29 PM

Charmed. How did you hurt yourself? Do you need to get treated? I'm sorry you are suffering like this. I'm glad you are posting here. Hugs.

Katie, how's is going with the bf? How are you holding up today hon?

I called the centre this morning and got some encouragement to get on with my day. I'm afraid to take my meds though and I'm thinking all funny about stuff again. But the sun is shining outside (literally) and I need that.

Heaven Knows · 23-12-2011, 08:30 PM

Rachel: I'm glad you called them. I wish I had words.
I haven't spoken to him; or anyone to be honest. I'm alive. It's about it right now.

Charmed · 23-12-2011, 08:46 PM

Thanks Katie (?) i know she does and its lovely. I feel like a burden though. And on here slighlty. But im sorry you are alone :( is there anyone you can ring? Or you can just talk on here :)

Rachel (?) No i don't need to get treated, I don't think. It will be fine. Thankyou :) Im glad you got some encouragement too, why are you scared to take your meds? Try thinking positively :) I know its hard... im not being very helpful sorry...*hugs back*

Stay safe x

Mum24 · 23-12-2011, 09:06 PM

Katie I'm glad you're alive, but one day we're going to be really living ok? Don't give up. Like you said we're in this together. Squishes.

Charmed. I hope you're ok. I know how hard things can get. It's awful. But there is hope. Hmm why am I afraid to take my meds? Cuz this morning I felt yuck from them- (orthostatic hypotension - my blood pressure drops and I feel like passing out unless I'm lying down) and they make me sedated and I resent that for some reason. I should be glad right? I'm not. Also these meds before gave me high cholesterol and I have to come off them. That's my rant about meds.
My afternoon is going ok. The voices in my head have stopped for a while. Maybe they aren't real. I don't hear real voices but it seems like something or someone puts thoughts in my head. Maybe I'm crazy. I don't know. Don't care anymore.
How are you this afternoon charmed?

getting_by · 23-12-2011, 09:15 PM

I am on here all day on my own... I leave for a short while and everyone appears *hmm maybe its me, maybe I scare people away*

Charmed- So glad to see you in here- How are you doing hun? Its good to talk. I know right now it may feel like you are a burden- but your not and your friend won't think that either. Its good you have someone to talk to. We're all here too :) xx

Katiieeeee- Nice to hear your alive hun. I will remain pleased about that fact, esp after the other day of pure panic from my end. I know how good it feels to be on your own sometimes hun, but I also know that its not always the safest, please keep yourself safe hun. What are you doing for christmas eve/day/boxing? HUgs tight xx

Rachel- Please keep taking your meds hun. I know they aren't that useful yet, but they will hopefully take the edge off soon hun. How is today after it got going? I'm glad you rang for encouragement. Thats great. Huggles xxx p.s i am also jealous...its been pouring ALL day here.

non volo- Well I am glad you would go voluntarily. Thats positive. How are you doing atm? I know you said your head is all over the place but are you able to get through the day etc. How have the phone calls been going?

Hugs to all...

xxx

EDIT: Because I am so slow at typing...

Rachel- I know what you mean about thinking someone is putting thoughts there. They aren't, I promise, but I know what its like. I am always adamant I am NOT thinking what I AM thinking lol. xx

non volo · 23-12-2011, 09:25 PM

Not had a single phone call yet. this is despite them telling me how much I was on the edge and how much talking to someone would help, beginning to wonder what the point is

getting_by · 23-12-2011, 09:40 PM

non volo- There is a point. Keep fighting hun.
I know its hard. I was told the same thing and it was a criteria on my discharge from hospital a few months ago- people didnt ring etc when they should have. Could you ring them? It might remind them. I know its not right. I know. But you really could do with some support at this rough time.
Keep fighting. x